Trying Normal
by UConn Fan
Summary: Sequel to "Coming to Terms"; Chapter 9 now up.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Trying Normal  
  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Story Summary: "Can I be normal?"   
  
He shrugged, "what does normal mean anyway? You can be happy though, and that's about as close to normal as anyone can hope for." (Sequel to "Coming to Terms")  
  
This Chapter: The first night . . .  
  
Authors Note: The Story Summary is the last two lines of "Coming to Terms" - this takes place immediately where that leaves off.  
  
Dedication: To Natalie & to G. Harris, who correctly guessed the scene that motivated me to write "Coming to Terms" but my computer had a heart attack & I couldn't find her e-mail address to send her the first chapter of this. I hope this dedication serves as a step to apologizing for my computers nervous breakdown.  
  
~* Well I've been afraid of changing  
  
Cause I've built my life around you  
  
But time makes you bolder  
  
Even children get older  
  
And I'm getting older too *~  
  
  
  
Sydney looked closely at him, carefully considering his comment. Perhaps there was truth to his words; being happy was normal, wasn't it? Not everyone was happy in the same situation; thus normal was different for every person. Before she could respond, however, the sound of his beeper resonated throughout the warehouse.  
  
"It's Weiss. More paperwork," he explained apologetically.   
  
"Go then," she nodded. After searching her eyes, obviously wanting to say more, he forced himself to walk out of the warehouse. Even if it was work he reasoned, it was work that would ultimately keep his family safe and happy.  
  
She sat with Jackie, waiting an appropriate amount of time before she left behind him. It wasn't until she was halfway home that she realized she had been using procedure that was no long necessary. Much to her dismay, she also realized that she had been subconsciously looking for tails during their drive home too. Old habits died far harder than she ever would have thought.  
  
Arriving back at her house, she grabbed the carrier and headed into the house. Ignoring the pile of mail Mandy had thrown on the coffee table earlier, she set the carrier on the table. Tossing her own coat haphazardly over the sofa, she then slipped out of her shoes. The drive home had lulled Jackie into sleep, and Sydney was tired she left the snugli in the car. Having quickly grabbed the carrier's handle, she walked back to her room. After she set the carrier on the bed, she opened her closet, reached up and brought down the shoebox and hatbox where she kept the mementos that meant the most to her from each parent. Not forgetting to grab the carrier, she wondered how parents had lived without car seat carriers, as balanced the shoebox and hatbox in her free hand and returned to her living room.   
  
Jackie only fussed briefly as her mother took her out of the carrier and placed her in the swing, buckling her in and turning it on. The smooth motion was quickly rocking her back to sleep while her mother quietly turned on the stereo to Stevie Nicks. Content that her daughter was sleeping, at least for the time being, she sat down on the floor in front of the coffee table. Taking the lid off both boxes, she started to sift through the memories that the boxes contained.   
  
The phone had rung three times since she walked in the door, and she had listened to her friends' concern growing on the messages, having heard something about the bank on the news. Sydney ignored them: She couldn't face them or tell them another lie for the time being. Instead, she sat and fingered through the memories. Seeing the memories for the first time as a mother, a parent, made them seem different. The _expression on her mother's face in so many of the photos seemed sincere; she seemed happy, and when Irina looked at her daughter, there appeared to be legitimate love on her features. Now a mother herself, she had to believe that regardless of her mother's motives for conceiving, somewhere along the way there had been sincere maternal feelings.  
  
Before she could dare to ponder the underlying meaning of the many the pictures and mementos that involved her father, the doorbell rang. Relieved that the noise hadn't woken her daughter, she stood and hoped that it wasn't her friends. Perhaps it was her father, since she hadn't seen him since the beginning of the day. Her father she could deal with, she wasn't sure she could handle anyone else.  
  
She pulled open the door and looked at him in surprise.   
  
Vaughn.  
  
"I was going to call you again... Joey's Pizza..." He looked at her uncomfortably before adding, "Then I remembered I could just come over." Sydney nodded and allowed him in, giving him his first glimpse at her home. What caught his eye, however, were the boxes and how Jackie slept soundly in the swing.   
  
"Make yourself at home," she insisted.   
  
Taking off his jacket, he glanced around, pausing when he noticed her answering machine flashing. "Syd, you have messages."  
  
"Yeah, I know." She sat back down on the floor in front of her coffee table. "They're from Francie and Will... I can't talk to them right now."   
  
Vaughn nodded and dared to take Jackie out of her swing. Bouncing her slightly, he rested her in his arms and sat down on the sofa. "Hey honey, you're getting so big. I've missed you." His gentle words wrapped around both mother and daughter as he planted a kiss on Jackie's forehead.   
  
"What's going to happen to Dixon and Marshall?"  
  
"Once they've finished their debriefings and they've passed all the necessary security steps, you can see them. There's a possibility they'll be offered positions at the CIA if their stories check out."  
  
"What's going to happen to my dad?"   
  
He looked up from his daughter to look at Sydney. "He's going to stay with the CIA. Supervisory work, something similar to Devlin's position."  
  
"That's good," she nodded.   
  
"I got called into Devlin's office today."   
  
"For what?" He now had her full attention, which she suspected was all he had wanted from the beginning.  
  
"I've been offered a promotion in Washington. Senior officer in charge of junior officers, working in counterintelligence."   
  
"Oh." She silently prayed for the strength not to cry. When SD-6 and the Alliance had went down... Especially with Jackie... She hadn't expected to lose him. I'll be fine, she reassured herself. She and Jackie had been doing fine, they could continue to do fine. Sydney Bristow wasn't one who needed help or support... Except, perhaps, from the man sitting on the sofa behind her.  
  
"Syd, I turned it down. I'm going to stay here in Los Angeles."   
  
"Are you sure?" she asked, although she wasn't sure why she was looking a gift horse in the mouth.   
  
"I'm sure," he agreed. "Have you started looking for teaching positions?"  
  
"No, not yet," she sighed. "I guess that's what I'm going to do now... Teach literature."   
  
"Isn't that what you want to do?"   
  
Sydney moved to sit on the sofa next to him, smiling at the sight. Jackie's green eyes were smiling and her lips had formed a gassy grin while she sat cuddled up next to her father's chest. From the two of them, Sydney wondered how they had managed to create a full-blown Daddy's girl.   
  
"You don't have to teach right away," Vaughn pointed out.  
  
"What else am I going to do?"   
  
"It's May... Take the next school year off. Be a stay at home mother to Jackie."   
  
"That's a nice thought," she agreed with a slight smile, before growing serious. "But if I'm not working, then there's no money coming in, which means we'd be bonding while living in a cardboard box." She smiled at the image. "Anyway, who's ever heard of a stay at home mom without a husband?" she asked offhandedly, returning her attention to the hatbox with her mother's photos.  
  
"We could get married."   
  
Before she could even open her mouth to respond, the doorbell rang. She whipped her head around, wondering who it was and why they had the worst timing in the universe. Had her former CIA handler just proposed marriage to her? Not enough time had sunk in for her to be entirely sure yet.   
  
"You should get that." Vaughn gave her a half smile. Standing, she nodded, her mind still reeling.  
  
Pulling open the front door, she wasn't surprised to find Francie and Will waiting behind it. "Syd! You're okay! I was so worried! We've been calling!" Francie hugged her and then led Will into the house. "I've left like twenty messages! Credit Dauphine is all over the news, I was so worried you'd been arrested and that no one was with Jackie..." she trailed off awkwardly when she realized they weren't alone. "Sorry, we didn't know you had company."  
  
"It's okay," Vaughn insisted, starting to stand. "I should go -"  
  
"No, stay," Sydney stopped him as he sat back down. There was no way Sydney was letting him leave her home until they settled what he had just said... Or what she *thought* he had just said. "Francie Calfo, Will Tippin, this is Michael Vaughn."  
  
"Nice to meet you." Vaughn stood, still balancing Jackie in one arm and shook their hands with the other.   
  
"Have we met before?" Francie asked as he shifted his daughter in his arms and nodded.  
  
"Yes, we did. In the mall around Christmas time."  
  
"That's right!" Francie eagerly agreed.  
  
"How long have you two known each other? Are you from the bank?" Will quickly turned into the alpha male; he loved Jennie, but Syd was his best friend and no man was going to just waltz into her life, especially not with his goddaughter involved, without a couple of questions.  
  
Vaughn glanced at her, allowing her to take the reigns of the conversation. She could tell them as much or as little as she wanted, and he'd understand. "We've known each other about three years. He works for the government."  
  
"The government?" Will was obviously impressed as Vaughn nodded. "So, how'd you two meet?"  
  
"Vaughn's been my liaison with the government. I've been giving him information about the bank..."  
  
"You knew about everything? The embezzlements and the fraud?" Francie eyes were wide. "Did you know the bank was close to bankruptcy?"  
  
Sydney glanced at Vaughn, whose gaze was just as confused as she felt. Obviously the CIA couldn't let the true story leak out, and she supposed that fraud was as close as one could get to saying treason without letting everything leak out. "I found out right around the time Danny died. . ."  
  
"I'm so glad you won't go to jail! I was so worried about you and Jackie!" Francie said, hugging her again.   
  
"Me too -" she started to speak when Jackie cried. Sighing, she turned around, when Vaughn held up a hand to stop her.  
  
"I got it Syd."  
  
"Thanks, the nursery's down the hall to the left," she called as he nodded. The trio of friends watched as Vaughn readjusted Jackie on his shoulder and started down the hallway, speaking softly in an attempt to reassure her. Turning back to her friends, she smiled and shrugged.  
  
"He's wonderful Syd," Francie whispered. "Jackie looks just like him."  
  
"What?" Will and Syd questioned together.  
  
"He's her father?" Will added.  
  
"Look at the cleft on Jackie's chin Will, he has it too! And they have the same eyes!" Francie pointed out. "He's wonderful Syd, I like him already."   
  
"Thanks," she smiled as Will sulked and sat on the sofa.   
  
"I just wish you had told us when we met at the mall."  
  
"It was complicated Francie... Towards the end, things with the bank were getting messy... They even had some security tails on me. No one could know that we were working together... Not even his mother," she emphasized as Francie nodded.  
  
"You two can be together now?" she whispered. Sydney glanced down the hall and thought of what he had said earlier.  
  
"I hope so," she smiled.   
  
"Hey, Syd!" Vaughn called from down the hall, popping his head out of the nursery.   
  
"Yeah?" she asked, walking closer to the hallway to hear him.  
  
"Do you want me to change her?"   
  
"Do you mind?"   
  
Vaughn grinned and shook his head vigorously. She had been doing this by herself for a long month, and now it was his turn to step up to the plate and be Jackie's father. After all, now he was a Daddy. "No, I got it. Try to relax."   
  
She smiled at him and thanked him before returning to her friends. "Where are Charlie and Jennie?" she asked as she sat down between them. If she could get them off the topic of Vaughn, Jackie's parentage, or the bank, perhaps she could have a relaxing night. After the past few days, she deserved it.  
  
"They'll be over in a little while," Will said.  
  
"Yeah, we needed to go shopping." Francie grinned.  
  
"For what?"   
  
"Will, tell her," Francie urged as Sydney looked at him.  
  
"An engagement ring. I'm going to ask Jennie to marry me."  
  
"That's great! I'm so happy for you!" She smiled and gave him a quick hug. "Oh that's wonderful Will, when?"  
  
"This Saturday, hopefully. We chose the ring today."  
  
"It's perfect Syd, Jennie's going to love it. Plus, with his new salary as a columnist, he can actually *afford* it."   
  
"That's wonderful Will, you'll have to come by Sunday so I can see it! You and Charlie can come by too, we'll make a big celebration breakfast out of it."   
  
"Sounds great," Will agreed.  
  
"Anything where you don't have to make your own food sounds great to you," Francie pointed out as the three shared a laugh. "Syd, do you want us to go? I know you must still be tired... And you and Michael could spend some time alone together..."   
  
Sydney looked at her, briefly wondering who Michael was, until it registered that Michael was Vaughn's name. "No, stay, it's fine." She smiled. After all, she had all the time in the world to relax now - especially if Vaughn had said what she *thought* he had said, and implied what she *thought* he had implied.  
  
"Syd, how long have you known Michael?" Will asked.  
  
"Will! She's had a long day, this is no time for you to play reporter!" Francie hissed as Sydney laughed.  
  
Michael is Vaughn, she reminded herself again, wondering how long it would take to adjust her mind to calling him that. She had spent the last three years locked in to think of him as Vaughn. Even in their personal moments, she couldn't bring herself to call him anything else. Smiling at her friends, she prepared herself for Will's arsenal of questions. "A few years."  
  
"How come we've never met him?"  
  
"Will, she's already explained because of her job -"  
  
"She worked at a bank!" Will snapped.   
  
"Stop! Stop *now*," she ordered. This was the last straw, Sydney thought in frustration. She couldn't have her friends arguing over a lie about her now non-existent job. Another lie just wouldn't do.   
  
"What's going on?" Vaughn asked softly, walking in to the room as Jackie slept with her head on his shoulder. For the first time that evening, Sydney realized how good he looked, in only a T-shirt and black slacks.   
  
"I'm going to tell them the truth," she whispered, locking eyes with her former handler.  
  
"Syd, are you sure?" he asked gently.   
  
"I can't lie anymore," she explained as he nodded and sat down. This was her prerogative, she could tell them as little or as much as she wanted to, and he'd support her all the way. Before she could speak, she was relieved to feel his hand come out and take hers, silently offering all the support he could.   
  
"What I have to tell you two can *never* leave this room, you can't tell Charlie or Jennie or *anyone*. You two *have* to promise me,"  
  
"Of course sweetie," Francie reassured her.  
  
"What's all of this about?" Will questioned.  
  
"Will, please just *promise*."  
  
Her friend sighed before he nodded in agreement.  
  
"Okay... Vaughn wasn't my government liaison... I mean, I suppose you could call him that, but that's not really what he was... "   
  
"What do you mean?" Will asked, now fully suspicious.  
  
"What do you mean *was*?" Vaughn asked softly, drawing her attention. Sydney had just assumed he had found out, but when she met his eyes, she found he looked just as confused as her friends.  
  
"I told Devlin I was out, I quit, no more."   
  
"I just assumed you'd do consultation of some sort..."   
  
"No," she shook her head. He nodded, accepting her answer, and not completely surprised by it. Turning back towards her friends, she gave them a small smile before she grew somber. "Credit Dauphine wasn't actually a bank. On the sixth sub level was something called SD-6, an organization that *claimed* to be part of the government."   
  
"But it wasn't," Will realized as she nodded.  
  
"You're right, it wasn't. When I joined SD-6, I was told I could never tell anyone that it was the government... Then Danny proposed... I couldn't embark on a life with him without him knowing the truth..."  
  
"They killed him because he knew," Will whispered as Sydney nodded.  
  
"Yeah," she agreed. "Shortly after he died, my father came to me and told me the truth. That SD-6 was part of a larger organization that had no affiliation with the United States government and was in fact, an enemy of the government. Eventually, the only thing I could do was to go to the real government and offer to be a double agent... That's where I met Vaughn."  
  
"I can't believe this," Francie said softly. Will stood and started to pace.  
  
"You know this sounds absurd, right Syd, this sounds like something out of a bad comic book."  
  
"I know," she nodded. "I'm not done yet."   
  
Her friends looked even more surprised as Will forced himself to sit down and listen. "Over the past few years I've found out a lot... There was a former KGB operative who infiltrated the life of a government employee and built a life with him, had a child with him, all while getting information from him to send to the KGB. That woman killed twelve government operatives, including Vaughn's father."  
  
"Man, I'm sorry -" Will started to apologize.  
  
"That woman was my mother." Sydney swore she had never seen her friends so pale.   
  
"Your mom?" Francie whispered. "Syd, your mom was a school teacher -"  
  
"I thought she was too," Sydney nodded. "I thought so for a really long time. I always thought that my mom was the good parent and my dad was the bad parent..." she trailed off for a moment, lost in thought. "Neither of my parents were good, neither was bad. They're both just... gray." Her brow scrunched for a few seconds of deliberation.  
  
"Sydney, I'm so sorry, I kept pushing the name Laura on you..."  
  
"It's okay Francie." She smiled and reached for her friend's hand. "That life is behind me now. Today the government raided SD-6, which was the last in its organization to fall. I'm free; I'm no longer a government employee. I don't know exactly what I'm going to do yet... That's the full truth. Promise me you two don't tell anyone, anything, *ever*."  
  
"Promise," they agreed.   
  
"Your dad actually worked for these people too?" Will assessed.  
  
"Jack works for us, he was also a double agent," Vaughn offered.   
  
Will eyed him skeptically, wondering how he had earned the right to call Sydney's father by his first name. He had known Sydney a hell of a lot longer than 'a few years' and would never imagine doing so.  
  
"My father's going to continue to work for the government," Sydney explained.   
  
"What are you going to do?" Francie asked. "If you need a job Syd, you can work at the restaurant or something..." she offered. The last thing she wanted was to see her best friend jobless while trying to support an infant.  
  
"I might start looking for a teaching position," she shrugged.   
  
The doorbell rang and Sydney stood, Vaughn closely following. "It's probably just Charlie and Jennie," she softly reassured him.  
  
"Check anyway." His words were a gentle command.  
  
Seconds later, Sydney smiled softly in relief. "It's my dad."   
  
Vaughn wasn't as relieved when the door opened and Jack Bristow saw him standing closely behind Sydney, Jackie half awake in his arms. "Sydney, Vaughn," Jack greeted.  
  
"Jack," Vaughn greeted as Sydney moved to let him in.  
  
"Francie, Will," he welcomed her friends. "How's my granddaughter?" he asked, turning his attention to his daughter and the man he was certain would one day be his son-in-law.  
  
"Do you -" Vaughn started to shift his daughter to hand her to Jack.  
  
"No, you need to catch up on lost time," Jack insisted, a soft smile on his face when he looked at his granddaughter. "Would it be possible to have a moment with the two of you?"  
  
"We'll leave - " Francie offered again.  
  
"No, that's not necessary," Jack stated.  
  
"Sure," Sydney agreed as she led them down the hall towards the nursery. "What's going on?" she asked softly as she shut the nursery door behind them.  
  
"The CIA should be done checking your debriefs on Marshall and Dixon tomorrow. Agent Weiss wants to know if you'd like to see them tomorrow before they're released, possibly explain the situation."  
  
Sydney nodded, "Yes, I'd like to do that. Are they going to be offered positions?"  
  
"Yes. The CIA technical staff is impatiently waiting for Marshall to join them," Jack informed them as his daughter smirked.  
  
"I bet."   
  
"Ben also informed me that you've resigned from the CIA."  
  
"Yes," she nodded, watching as Vaughn sat down on the rocker, only half of his attention focused on her and her father.  
  
"What do you plan on doing?"   
  
"I don't know yet," she said honestly with a shrug. "Spend some time with my daughter. Possibly look into teaching positions. . . I need out of this life Dad. I can't do it anymore. I don't have to and I really don't want to."   
  
Jack nodded. "I respect your decision. If at any time you decide to rejoin the organization, there will be a position for you."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
After a few seconds her father's _expression softened. "I'm proud of you Sydney."   
  
Sydney smiled widely as she allowed herself to be taken into her father's arms. "Thanks Dad."   
  
"Breakfast tomorrow?" Jack suggested as they pulled back. "Then I'll bring you to the CIA to see Dixon and Marshall."  
  
"That'd be nice," she agreed. "Who's going to watch Jackie?" she realized.  
  
"Mandy's in town a few more days, or Francie," Jack suggested.   
  
"I can do it," Vaughn spoke up, drawing their attention. "I was given the rest of the week off. I have a lot of PTO time."   
  
"Jackie can stay with her father," Jack decided.   
  
Vaughn smiled as he looked down at his little girl: It was the first time Jack had acknowledged he was Jacqueline's father without contempt in his voice. A feeling of pride surged through him, hearing someone other than himself and Sydney validate his role in Jackie's life.   
  
"I should go, I still have work to do."   
  
Sydney nodded as she started to lead her father out of the nursery. Vaughn slowly stood up and followed behind them. "I'll see you tomorrow morning," Sydney agreed, sharing a smile with Jack as she shut the door behind him. Turning towards her living room, she smiled when she saw that Charlie and Jennie had already arrived. Vaughn stood awkwardly in the doorframe, still closely cuddling his little girl.   
  
"Charlie, Jennie!" she smiled.  
  
"I'm so glad you're okay!" Jennie stood and hugged her, echoing Francie's earlier sentiments. "My entire firm was watching it on the news; it's so unbelievable, it puts a whole new twist on corporate scandal."   
  
"I guess it does," Sydney shrugged uncomfortably. "Jennie, Charlie, this is Michael Vaughn. We worked together... He's Jackie's father," she introduced. The man in question hesitantly stepped forward and offered the two newcomers a professional smile.  
  
"Nice to meet you," he said as they shook hands.   
  
"Jackie looks a lot like you," Charlie noted.  
  
"Thank you," he smiled.   
  
"Syd, I was going to get the Scrabble, but we can leave if you want -" Jennie started to offer.  
  
"No, please, don't. Scrabble sounds good." She smiled as her friends started to set up. Sydney followed closely behind Vaughn as he started towards the swing.  
  
"Is Scrabble okay?" she whispered as he buckled their daughter into her swing and switched it on.  
  
"In college I used to make most of my money from pool and Scrabble."   
  
"You're a pool shark?"  
  
"Pool *freak*," he corrected. Smirking at her reaction, he continued, "You don't have to be so surprised."   
  
She shrugged and started to help her friends set up the game.  
  
They spent the next few hours playing Scrabble. Will lost all four games - Sydney took two, Vaughn took the other two. The time allowed her the opportunity to see him with her friends, to consider their earlier conversation without the pressure of an answer. Much to her surprise, all of the men had a lot in common - mostly a desire for sports that almost outranked their desire to breathe. Both Jennie and Francie took to him, and Will and Francie kept her secret.  
  
Just as she had imagined, Vaughn assimilated easily into her life. He almost seemed to be the final piece to the puzzle. Since Jennie had come along, she had been the odd man out. Before Jennie she could always gang up with Will against Charlie and Francie, but then it had become two couples and her. Now it was the six of them, and it felt right. More than that, it felt nice, just being able to meet his gaze and smile at him in front of her friends. Talking about simple things and laughing, all things she swore she'd never again take for granted.  
  
The late news was about to start when her friends left. Although it was a weeknight, the restaurant didn't open until ten and Jennie wasn't due in court until after lunch. Vaughn offered to take Jackie back to her room and tuck her in while Sydney picked up the living room and said goodbye to her friends. As she walked them out, Francie and Jennie went on and on about how wonderful he was and even the men agreed that he seemed like a nice guy. No matter how stubborn or protective he was, even Will conceded that he was a good guy and he deserved her.  
  
Sydney was straightening up the living room, fixing couch cushions and throw pillows, when she heard him walk in to the room. She was almost loathed to see her friends leave. It wasn't as though she didn't want to be alone with him; in fact it was something so simple that she dreamed of for so long. Now that they were alone, they needed to talk; they couldn't avoid the issue that she suspected weighed heavily on both their minds.  
  
"Vaughn, Michae -" she stopped and looked over her shoulder at him. "What do I call you now?" Throughout the evening she had managed to skirt around having to call him by name, but unfortunately she knew that couldn't last forever.  
  
"Anything you want," he shrugged, stepping out of the shadows and closer to her. "Just nothing profane, at least not in front of Jackie," he requested.  
  
Sydney laughed before she grew somber. "Why didn't you take the promotion?"   
  
He met her eyes, trying to silently get her to understand, as he had been able to so many times before. On that evening, however, either she was too scared or stubborn or tired to read what was so obviously written in his eyes, because she turned away and sighed.   
  
"You know what, I'm sorry, it's really none of my -"  
  
"I love you Syd."   
  
Before she could even formulate a response, Jackie beckoned from her nursery. "She needs to be fed," she muttered. All he did was silently nod and follow her down the hallway. Leaning against the doorframe, he watched her go in and pick up Jackie, adjusting her blouse before allowing the infant to start nursing.   
  
"Syd..." he softly called as she turned around to look at him. This was the first time that she and Jackie had company for their nursing session. He hadn't even been aware that she was doing this naturally. That didn't matter, because at the moment he had far bigger things on his mind. "What I said earlier. . . It's not as though I have a ring or something . . ." he trailed off awkwardly.   
  
Sydney met his eyes, gently patting Jackie's back as she nursed. "I don't need a ring," she shook her head, speaking in a voice no higher than a whisper.   
  
"We don't have to do it..." He approached them. "I understand if this is just too fast for you, we'll do this however you need to..."   
  
She smiled softly, once again swept away by how gentle he was, how careful he was to do this the 'right way'. Sydney wasn't even sure what that meant anymore, but she was certain that if anyone knew how, it'd be him. "We can't lose you," she whispered.   
  
"You're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere," he promised as he gently reached out to cup her cheek, carefully caressing with his thumb.   
  
Looking into his eyes, the answer wasn't easy or simple, but it was obvious. There was too much history between them - history that lingered long before they had ever met - for what they shared to ever be simple. Over time she trusted it could get easier; she trusted him enough to know he'd make it that way. "I love you too."   
  
He grinned widely, almost surprised by her candor. After a few moments he grew somber, momentarily lost in her eyes. Swallowing hard, he rested his free hand on her elbow, feeling Jackie's tiny feet resting near his hand. Seconds passed by like hours before he bent down and kissed her.   
  
"Can we do this?" she whispered, her breath warming his face as he grinned at them.  
  
"You're Sydney Bristow, you can do anything," he reminded her.  
  
"Sydney Bristow, former super spy and solo Mommy," she reminded him as he laughed.  
  
"That's cute."  
  
"I'm thinking of writing my own children's book series," she teased. "Your mother's never even met me... Not really at least. . ." she reminded him, once again serious. "Can you really marry me, spend every day of your life with me, knowing that I look *just* like the woman who killed your father? Can your mother live with that, with having me in her life?"   
  
"You'll meet my mother. I'll call her tomorrow and we'll go and meet her Sunday for dinner," he explained simply. "My mother has an immense capacity for forgiveness, and she decided the first time she met you that she liked you... As for me," he said seriously, his eyes never leaving hers. "Syd, you don't need to worry about me. The last thing I think of when I look at you or Jackie is your mother. I see *you*, the courageous, beautiful, determined, intelligent woman that walked into the CIA with this fiery determination to bring down the devil. I never saw your mother in you. You are your own person, with your own mistakes and faults and vices, and I love you."   
  
"How can you say that so easily?" she wondered in awe.  
  
"That I love you?" he asked as she nodded. "It's true. Over the past few months it's become more difficult not to say anything, than to actually say the words to you."   
  
"I've known for a long time," she confessed.   
  
"I'm not very good at hiding my emotions, huh?" he asked as she smiled.  
  
"Sometimes it was the only thing that kept me going," she conceded.   
  
"My life Syd... I'm still with the agency. I still want to stay with the agency. You know that means I can't promise you too much," he reminded her. "I'll never betray your trust or willingly hurt you. I love you, and I love Jackie. You're my family, and I promise to do everything I can keep you safe and happy." He smiled down at their daughter, who was finally starting to pull back. "She's hungry."  
  
"She's always hungry," she laughed as the baby unlatched.   
  
"I'll burp her," he softly insisted, taking the baby, allowing Sydney's hands to readjust her top.   
  
"Is your mother going to like me?" she asked softly as he paced a small area, attempting to burp the stubborn infant.  
  
"You're not blonde and your name doesn't start with an 'A'. She'll love you."   
  
Sydney smiled as she sat down on the glider, curling up as her family paced in front of her. "You have an attraction to blondes with A names?" she teased.  
  
"Oh yeah," he confessed, his eyebrows slightly rose as the color danced onto his cheeks. "There was Angela in high school, trust me she was anything *but* an angel," he remembered as she laughed. "Audrey, freshman year, Stacey, whose real name was Anastasia was junior year... I was with Anika for two summers in college, she and I both had family in Fleury..." he remembered as she smiled, amused at his laundry list of blonde girlfriends. "Amy and I dated in law school, and when I left she decided I wasn't worth her trouble. Then, of course, there was Alice."  
  
"We're never naming anything an 'A' name, not a baby or a cat or a dog, nothing," she informed him with a straight face before she broke into a huge grin.  
  
"Tell me about it," he smirked as Jackie let out a big burp.  
  
"So which vixen turned you in to a pool shark?"  
  
"After Audrey, I had a *lot* of free time, so I spent a lot of time in the game room. My grandfather taught me how to play during my summers in France when I was little. Whenever it would rain we'd stay in the house and play pool," he remembered fondly.  
  
"Do you really want to get married?" she asked softly. Vaughn stopped his short steps and looked at her, meeting her eyes in the dim room.  
  
"Yes, I do. But only if you do Syd, I don't want to pressure you in to anything -"  
  
"Thank you Agent Vaughn, but I assure you that no one pressures me into anything," she reminded him as he chuckled and nodded. She watched him place Jackie in the crib, carefully tucking her in, awed by the gentle side of him that shone through. There had always been a gentle, sweet part of him that she had the privilege of knowing, but seeing his paternal side brought his personality to a new level.   
  
"Michael," she whispered into the dim room as he turned to face her.  
  
"Syd?" he greeted back, obviously pleased that she was now addressing him by his given name. While he loved the sound of his name on her lips - the way she said it could caress his soul or send his blood pressure rising - no one would ever say his name like she did. Now he was simply Michael, and he was positive he could easily live with the new adjustment.  
  
"I think we should do it."   
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really," she smiled and nodded. "I think you should sleep here tonight too," she boldly suggested. "Just sleep though," she added as an afterthought. The day had been too draining and the past two months too much on her body to consider anything else.  
  
"I have a bag in the trunk of the car..." he admitted. "I wasn't planning this Syd -"  
  
"I know you weren't," she reassured him. "Just... Stay tonight," she requested. "Please."  
  
"Of course," he nodded.  
  
"I'm going to go get changed... Do you want to get your bag out of your car?"  
  
He nodded while his lips curved into a slight smile. "Sure. Will she be okay by herself?"  
  
"She'll be fine. I'll just be in my room, if she makes any noise I'll hear her."   
  
"You're sure?" he asked cautiously, relieved when she picked up the baby monitor.   
  
"The other one is currently in the living room. I'll go get it then get changed."  
  
"Okay," he smiled. When she smiled sweetly at him, he was unable to stop himself from leaning down and gently kissing her. Pulling back, his smile widened when he remembered he could kiss her now without fear of breaching national security.  
  
"I'll see you in a few minutes," she agreed, her brown eyes sparkling in the dim room before she walked out. 


	2. Trying Normal Chapter 2

Title: Trying Normal Chapter 2  
  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Story Summary: "Can I be normal?"   
  
He shrugged, "what does normal mean anyway? You can be happy though, and that's about as close to normal as anyone can hope for." (Sequel to "Coming to Terms")  
  
This Chapter: First full day of freedom - Sydney sees Dixon & Marshall . . Plus, just a touch of normalcy . .   
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own ANY of these characters; they belong to Bad Robot, ABC, and the brilliant J.J. Abrams. Nor do I own 'The Babysitters Club', Bruce Springsteen, the Mets, Yankees or Kings.   
  
Authors Note: I tried to post a chapter a week . . However last week my sister was seriously ill and that took up most of my time. I'm back though, and I hopefully can have another chapter up by Thursday - no promises though, I have a seriously busy week ahead of me. Also, expect to see/hear what happens to Sloane in upcoming chapters, and in (several chapters from now) Emily should be making an appearance. Alice isn't completely gone either, and expect THAT to lead to something nasty. I also strongly suspect that you'll be seeing Devlin (again) in the next chapter and that it's highly likely that Jackie becomes a big sister before she's 3.   
  
IMPORTANT: I used a few paragraphs of dialogue from 'Passage Pt. 1' - I suppose it's a slight spoiler. Okay, it IS a spoiler, so be warned that that is ahead. I know I have readers not in America and I hope that it doesn't peeve them off. I won't say what it is, but I did use a few lines from the episode for my own purposes.   
  
Also (spoilers for Passage Pt. 2 - sort of . . )   
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
I'd LOVE to see a helicopter convo story, wouldn't you guys? And that last scene made me kind of sad. I mean it was soo sweet, but kind of sad too. Poor Vaughn. :)  
  
Dedication: To Nancy, who was so kind enough to personally e-mail me with sweet comments; to Natalie for always being great; for Meg for putting up for me. Also for any former/current X-Philes also in the Alias community who were subjected to the few HORRIBLE fanfics I posted to Gossamer. I can't even read them now without cringing - I hope this makes up for it . .   
  
For the first time in a long time, the sun was already out when Sydney's eyes opened. Reaching out to move the alarm clock, she was surprised that it was already after seven. Rolling over, she was slightly disappointed that the bed was empty. Slowly sitting up, she grabbed his Kings jersey and slipped it on over her lightweight pajama top. Padding down the hall, she slowed down as she neared the kitchen.   
  
Before she had even reached the kitchen, she heard the sound of The Temptations' 'My Girl' from the radio. Biting the inside of her cheek, she stood at the doorway and smiled at the sweet sight in front of her. Michael Vaughn was parading around her kitchen in blue boxers and a T-shirt, making breakfast and singing softly to the infant sitting in the carrier on the kitchen table. Jackie smiled back at her father, oblivious to her mother's attention. Once the song came to an end, she walked in and let her presence be known.  
  
"Hey," he smiled sheepishly, his awkwardness quickly dissipating when he noticed her attire. "Did we wake you?"  
  
"No," she shook her head and sat down. "How long have you been up?"  
  
"About an hour," he shrugged. "I fed her. Is that okay?"  
  
"That's fine," she assured him as she took her daughter's tiny hand and kissed her good morning. "Thank you for letting me sleep."  
  
"You look like you could sleep for a year," he commented as he turned his attention to the stove.   
  
"I haven't been sleeping well lately," she admitted.  
  
"Yeah, I know," he sighed sadly, his back to her as he stood over the stove. The truth was, neither had he. Since meeting Sydney, a peaceful sleep was a rare commodity, usually only achieved during a few stolen hours next to her. Early on he couldn't sleep when she was on missions, and while her missions had been nearly nonexistent during the past few months, he had been restless in his concerns for their future. "How many pancakes?"  
  
"You cook too?" she asked as he turned around to look at her.  
  
"I got sick of doughnuts for breakfast," he shrugged. "I considered waiting for your father, but honestly, I was hungry."  
  
"He probably won't be here for another hour or so," she realized as she stood and poured them some juice. "How do you think Dixon and Marshall are going to take it?"  
  
"I don't know," he sighed. The worry lines were obvious on her face as she turned to look at him. "Tell them the truth. That it wasn't your place to tell them the truth and subject them to such danger. If you told them, they would have essentially been forced into a double life, and that wasn't your decision to make for them."  
  
"Will they be able to forgive me?"  
  
"If they're the men that you've made them out to be, I believe they will. Neither seems like the type to hold a grudge. Remind them that they *are* patriots; they've spent a very long time believing they worked for the government, and just because they were betrayed doesn't mean their allegiance was ever anywhere but with America."   
  
"They're good men Mike," she said softly.  
  
"I know they are. You know they are too, so don't let them forget that," he advised. "How many pancakes?"  
  
"Two," she requested as she got them plates and the necessary utensils. "This smells really good."  
  
"Thank you. This is okay, right?" he asked anxiously as she looked at him in confusion. "Your father said he was coming over and I -"  
  
"It's fine," she promised with a smile. He flipped out their pancakes while she obtained the syrup. "I'm starving."  
  
He kept his eyes on her as she took a bite of the food. "How is it?"  
  
"Great," she smiled. This was the first time she had felt normal in twenty years; since she was six years old and Jack and Laura Bristow were still the parents she adored. The passage of time had left her convinced that she wouldn't even recognize normalcy, but looking around her, she was fairly certain she had rediscovered it. Not only was normalcy alive and well, it was far better than she ever remembered it being.  
  
"How much of my wardrobe can I expect you to steal?" he smirked.  
  
"Oh," she said nervously as she played with the hem of the hockey jersey, "I hope you don't -"  
  
"Keep it Syd. Looks better on you anyway," he muttered, pleased at her laughter.   
  
The doorbell ringing forced her to peel her eyes away from the twinkling hazel orbs that openly gazed back at her. "That's probably my dad," she realized, placing her fork down. Vaughn nodded, carefully trailing her to the front door. The Alliance had been gone for less than twenty-four hours and he was of the belief that one could never be too vigilant.  
  
The younger man remained firm and proud despite his slight discomfort when he stood closely behind Sydney and looked into the eyes of Jack Bristow. What surprised Sydney most, however, was her father's non-reaction. While he had the best poker face she had ever seen, she had expected some sort of reaction - a slight eyebrow lift, a smirk, *something* at the sight of his daughter in her former handler's clothes, and the former handler in boxers and a T-shirt, both still slightly rumpled from sleep. Instead, he greeted them in a blank tone, seeming to have expected the sight that met him that morning.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm early. I hope it's not an inconvenience," Jack said as they led him back to the kitchen.  
  
"No. We were just having breakfast," she explained.  
  
"Do you want some pancakes?" Vaughn asked. The elder man looked slightly amused, but nodded.  
  
"Yes, that'd be fine," he agreed before turning towards his granddaughter. "Good morning Jackie, how are you this morning?" he cooed softly, taking her out of the carrier and holding her in his arms.   
  
"Are Dixon and Marshall ready to be released?" Vaughn asked, pouring the batter into the frying pan.  
  
"They should be. They're understandably shocked. Do you still wish to go speak to them today?" he asked his daughter, who had sat down to finish her pancakes.  
  
"I think it's the least I can do for them," she commented. Telling them the truth, having them know the truth, was something she had been anticipating for years. She had run through so many various scenarios in her mind, considering how they would react to her, once they knew the truth. No scenario was ever the same, and nothing she ever imagined seemed correct. "I should go get dressed," she realized as she set her fork down. "I'll be ready in a few minutes," she promised her father as she turned around and walked down the hall towards her bedroom.  
  
Michael grabbed Sydney's empty plate and put a plate of pancakes in front of Jack. The elder man met his gaze and was pleased when the younger man didn't hesitate to hold it. With one look Jack was able to convey all the necessary messages. Michael was now entrusted with keeping his daughter happy and his granddaughter healthy and happy. As his history showed, Jack would not hesitate to take action if he failed in his obligations. He was slightly reassured to know that it was unlikely he'd ever have to use such tactics. The younger man had consistently proven himself. He was honest and moral, a far cry from Noah Hicks, and unlike his daughter's late fiancé, he had no illusions about who his daughter truly was, or what sort of life she was just starting to leave behind. The transition would not be an easy one, completely weaning her system from the darkness and danger that she had grown so accustomed to, but Jack doubted there was a better man to trust with the job of helping her through it than Michael Vaughn.  
  
Jack complimented him on his pancakes and spoke softly to his granddaughter as Mike started to clean up the kitchen. Although he was unfamiliar with her home, he was quickly learning where things went and was careful to put everything back where he found it. Carefully watching his daughter out of the corner of his eye, he struggled not to be visibly surprised at how gentle the older Bristow was with the baby. Jackie seemed perfectly comfortable and happy with him - almost more so than she is with me, he thought sadly. That was to be expected, as she had been around her grandfather far more than her father during the first few weeks of life. That would end today, Mike resolved as he finished putting the clean dishes away.  
  
"I'm just about ready," Sydney declared as she walked into the kitchen. Her hair was back in a ponytail and she had chosen a blue T-shirt to wear under her blazer. Jack nodded and kissed his granddaughter's cheek goodbye.  
  
"I'll go wait in the car," he said, sensing their need to say goodbye. If it resulted in anything remotely physical or emotional, he would just as soon avoid viewing it. "I'll see you later," he nodded at the younger man.  
  
"Have a good day," Mike called as Jack walked out of the house. "Are you ready for this?" he asked her softly as she cradled Jackie close.  
  
"I will be," she resolved as he walked closer. "Will you be okay with her?"  
  
"She and I will be fine," he reassured her. Carefully resting her back in the carrier, she kissed her daughter's cheek and whispered that she loved her. "You're the strongest person I know Syd," he reminded her.  
  
She smiled softly at him before their lips met. Briefly cradling her face, he smiled at her when they broke the tender kiss. "You'll be here when I get back?"  
  
"I thought we could go back to my place, I need to pick up a few things. Would you mind if I borrowed the Jeep? It already has the bottom of the car seat."   
  
"No, my keys are on the counter."   
  
"I know," he nodded. She laughed softly at how overnight, they had transformed into something so seemingly domestic - he was cooking breakfast in his underwear and borrowing her car. What comforted her the most, however, was the warm feeling that blanketed her soul.  
  
"I better go." She hugged him before she slipped into her jacket. "I love both of you," she reminded them as she smiled at Jackie. Dropping one quick kiss on her daughter's head, she grabbed her bag and rushed out the door. If experience had taught her one thing, it was that Jack Bristow did not like to be kept waiting.  
  
Shortly after the Bristows had left, he grabbed her phone and the carrier. Walking into the living room, he placed his daughter in the swing, laughing at how obviously thrilled she was to be in it. Sitting down, he stared at the phone. Briefly the bright numbers seemed to be mocking him. The realization struck him that there would be no easy way to do this. He had always known that the transition after SD-6's destruction would be difficult for Sydney, he just never anticipated that it would be a slight struggle for him as well.  
  
"Wish Daddy luck," he told Jackie, who was gazing happily at him and humming her pleasure, sucking her pacifier. Bracing himself for the fallout ahead, he dialed the familiar numbers and brought the phone up to his ear.   
  
"Hello?" Brigitte's warm voice answered.  
  
"Hi Maman," he greeted.  
  
"Michel! What's wrong?"  
  
"Why must something be wrong for me to call you?"  
  
"Cherie, it's nine on a Tuesday morning, shouldn't you be at work?"  
  
"I have the rest of the week off."  
  
"Fabulous! Why don't you come spend the rest of the week here?"   
  
Michael laughed at his mother's exuberance. "Maman, I -"  
  
"No, it'll be wonderful! It's only May so we don't have fools flocking to the beach thinking it's theirs, and most of the neighbors aren't free to spend time on the beach either. It's so lovely and peaceful right now. Plus, a friend of mine from church has a daughter about your age. She's divorced, but I've been wanting you to -"  
  
"Mom!" he stopped her. "Mom, I'm *really* not interested in being set up."  
  
"Oh," Brigitte's disappointment was obvious.  
  
"I'd like to come up for Sunday dinner though. I'd like to bring company."   
  
"How is Eric?"  
  
"Eric's fine, but I'm not bringing him."   
  
"Michel, you're not with Alice again, are you?"   
  
"Mom, no, Alice and I are no longer together," he reminded her. "Actually -" he started to explain as Jackie's pacifier fell to the floor. Her screams followed seconds later.  
  
"Michael, what's going on?" she asked as her son started to mutter French curse words.  
  
"One second Mom," he yelled, unable to hear her over his daughter's wails. "Shh, shh, c'mere," he cooed, resting the phone between his ear and shoulder. Nabbing the pacifier from the floor, he unbuckled his daughter and started to carry her to the kitchen. "Shh, one second sweetie, I just need to wash this off," he explained in a gentle voice, gently bouncing her in his arms. Although he was relieved that her wails noticeably lowered in his arms, she still continued to moan and cry in misery. Michael was proud of himself for balancing a baby in one arm, a pacifier in the other hand, and the phone. Rinsing the pacifier under water, he searched for the sterilizer. Where the hell did she keep the sterilizer, he cursed in his head.  
  
"Are you okay?" his mother asked in his ear.  
  
"One second Mom," he reminded her. Finally, his eyes landed on a clean pacifier resting next to the freshly sterilized bottles and nipples. "Here we are Jackie," he triumphantly declared. Carefully, he nudged the pacifier into his daughter's mouth, a heavy sigh of relief escaping him as she started to suck on it and hold onto her Daddy's finger. "You are not an easy customer kiddo," he teased, smiling down at her as he walked back to the living room.  
  
"Sorry Mom, I'm here." He sat down on the sofa, Jackie still in his arms. Too much of her life had already been spent away from him, and he was determined to make up for lost time.  
  
"What's going on? Why are you watching a baby?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" he asked in a poor attempt to feign ignorance.  
  
"Michel, don't play me for a fool," she scolded in her native tongue. "I have raised two children and taken care of countless others. I know the sound of an infant crying, and of a frantic adult trying to calm them down."  
  
"I'm bringing company on Sunday Maman," he reminded her, hoping she'd drop it.  
  
"A woman?" Brigitte jumped on it, obviously far more interested in her son's possible romantic interest than why he would be watching a child.   
  
"Yes Mom."  
  
"Do I get to learn anything about this mystery woman before she appears on my property?"  
  
"Her name is Sydney and you're going to love her," Michael explained confidently. The question in his mind was not whether his mother would love Sydney, but whether his mother would even *speak* to him when she found out the entire truth.  
  
Jack's demeanor was slightly less stoic than normal when Sydney got into the car. "Jackie seems to be adjusting to her father's presence," he commented as they turned off of her street.  
  
"She loves him." She smiled as she thought of the calming effect Mike had on their little girl. "I love him too," she added.  
  
"Yes, I know," he said with a slightly grim _expression on his face.  
  
"Dad..." She adjusted herself so she could face him as he drove. "Dad, Mike and I are going to get married."  
  
"Yes, I assumed you would."  
  
"You did?"  
  
"Yes. One fault that both you and Mr. Vaughn share is your unwavering sense of morality. I imagine neither of you would participate in a casual affair, particularly given the stakes involved. I fully suspected, particularly since Jacqueline's conception, that once the Alliance crumpled that you two would wed."  
  
"I'm not sure when... Probably soon," she estimated. They already had a daughter, it would be foolish to have a big wedding and wear a fancy white gown. "When the time comes, I'd like you to give me away."  
  
Jack's face softened, his _expression nearly a smile. "If that's what you'd like."  
  
"It is," she nodded with a smile.   
  
"Agent Vaughn will make you happy?"   
  
"Yes, he will," she answered confidently.   
  
"I hope you know that with absolute certainty Sydney."  
  
"I do." She looked at her father. "Dad, Vaughn's not Mom," she gently reminded him. Jack simply wanted to steer her from pain, even though his attempts were often ill advised. Over time he had become a better father, having endured the only thing that made mere men into Daddy's - trial and error; raw experience.  
  
"No, he certainly is not," Jack agreed. Sydney smiled and studied the Los Angeles skyline during the remainder of the drive to headquarters. When they arrived her father led her in through an underground entrance from the parking garage, explaining that they were going to continue taking the necessary precautions when entering the CIA building. All she could do was nod, suddenly anxious at the encounters she would soon have.  
  
"Both Dixon and Marshall are ready to be released and begin the necessary security procedures before we bring them in to work with us," Devlin explained as he met Sydney and Jack.  
  
"What about the other Credit Dauphine employees?"  
  
"From your debriefings and speaking to them, the majority of them do appear to believe they were working for the CIA. After we're done working them through security, some of them will be offered positions, although it appears that many of them no longer have an interest in working for the government," Devlin informed them. "Are you ready for this, Ms. Bristow?"   
  
Sydney briefly looked at her father and nodded. "I'd like to see Dixon first."  
  
"I'll take you there," Weiss offered as she followed him down the hallway, leaving her father in Devlin's office. "How's Mike doing?"   
  
His question was so casual that Sydney was about to profess her ignorance. Looking at him, she realized it was pointless and allowed a small smile to come out. "He's good."  
  
"Trying to poison you with his pancakes?"  
  
"They weren't bad," she laughed.  
  
"I can't tell you how many hangovers those got me through."   
  
She laughed, her head shaking in amusement as he led her into the cells. Immediately, she sobered as she passed by hallways where she was certain her former colleagues were being held. When Weiss turned down a specific hall, she hoped for the courage to do what she had to do. Dixon's espionage training was still finely tuned, and he looked up when the gates lifted and she walked in. His eyes remained on her as the guard unlocked the doors, handing her the keys to release Dixon, and allowed them privacy.  
  
"Syd."  
  
One look at him, sitting on a cold metal cot in an even colder brick cell, tore at her heart. The man had spent nearly 23 years with SD-6, all the while, firmly believing he was a patriot. He had expected to eventually retire, with a good government pension, benefits and a commendation. The last thing he deserved was what the cruel hands of fate had dealt him.   
  
"They're ready to release you," she explained as she sat down next to him, startled at how cold and hard the cot was. "The CIA still needs and wants to talk to you, but they don't see a need to keep you in custody," she finished as she undid the handcuffs that tightly bound his hands.   
  
"How long have you known?"  
  
His directed question freed her from having to awkwardly explain, but nonetheless, her eyes dropped to her hands in shame. "Around three years. I found out the truth shortly after Danny's death."  
  
"Why didn't you ever tell me? Sydney, we were *partners*."  
  
"I *wanted to*!" she insisted, finally meeting his eyes. "I *wanted* to, I *know* you're a patriot Dixon - the entire CIA knows it. I couldn't do it though. By telling you the truth I would have been forcing you into being a double agent, into risking your life, Diane's life, Deirdre's life..." she trailed off. "My CIA handler impressed upon me that it was not my place to force you into that life."  
  
"How can I ever repay what I did to my country?"   
  
"The CIA's going to offer you a position. I'm not sure of all of the arrangements, but it'll be a good job Dixon, one where you'll be guaranteed a pension and that you'll always work for the good guy."  
  
"How could I have been so foolish? There were *so* many signs... So many indications that you gave... That everything gave. No one was ever allowed to visit Langley... What about all of our allies who were infiltrated in the past few months?" He looked up, desperately searching her eyes for the truth.  
  
"They were the eleven other branches of the Alliance. Since the CIA had two double agents in SD-6, they felt it was wise to arrange for the destruction of SD-6 to be last."  
  
"Two?"   
  
"My father."  
  
"Jack," he realized. "I should have known! Damn it Sydney, I should have figured it out!"   
  
"No one else knew. No one figured it out," she reminded him gently, hoping to calm his anger while knowing he had every right to feel it. He had the right to revel in his anger, bathing in it, to be burnt to his soul for the evil that Arvin Sloane had imposed upon them.  
  
"Sloane?" he asked. Sydney smiled at his good nature, at his belief that people were good and patriotic, not evil and self-absorbed, as Arvin Sloane had consistently proven to be.  
  
"He knew. He was one of the most powerful members of the Alliance."  
  
Dixon's hands balled up into tight coils, only calming slightly when she placed her hand over one of them. "You're still a good person Dixon, a patriot. You had no idea that you were doing something that worked against our government," she carefully worded. "The good news is that it's over, you can still work against K-Directorate and all of our other enemies, and I promise you, this time you will be working for the good guys."  
  
"What about the e-mail I sent to Langley when Cole broke into SD-6?"  
  
"It was received," she explained. "My handler was ordered to wait, but he showed up anyway. He was assisting me in deactivating the C-4. The CIA ended up with the Rambaldi solution and Cole, but they also kept your e-mail. Aside from my father and my debriefing, it's proof that you had no idea who you were working for."  
  
"Sloane had Danny killed, didn't he?"  
  
"Yes, he did," she nodded. "I couldn't keep it from him... I don't regret telling him the truth," she insisted as Dixon nodded. "I don't know how you kept it a secret from Diane for so long."  
  
"It wasn't easy," he agreed. "I'd like to tell her the truth now."   
  
"I don't know what exactly your position will be; whatever your position is will dictate what your cover will be, if anything. However..." she trailed off. The CIA didn't kill people just because they knew the truth - Mike's mother and immediate family knew what he did, and they had been safe.   
  
"Sydney, I'm going to tell her."  
  
"Good," she nodded, hoping Diane would understand.   
  
"What's going to happen with you and Jackie?"  
  
"I'm going to be a stay at home Mom next school year." She smiled, delighted when he grinned back. "I might go back and teach the year after that, I'm not sure," she shrugged. "I'm going to marry Jackie's father."   
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really," she laughed before growing serious. "Please don't hate me Dixon, I wanted to tell you so many times -"  
  
"I know," he nodded and took her hand. "I know Syd. I don't doubt my faith in you."   
  
"I don't want to imply that you need it... But the CIA has some good psychiatrists on staff. I've been to one a few times, they're very... curious," she worded carefully, trying not to insult Dr. Barnett too badly. "They can be helpful though."  
  
Dixon nodded, silently contemplating his options. "I'd like to go home now. I didn't sleep too well on this cot, and I suspect Diane is wondering where I am."  
  
Sydney nodded as they stood, relieved when her former partner pulled her into a hug. "I want to meet this man that you're marrying."   
  
"He wants to meet you too," she smiled.  
  
"If my wife is still speaking to me, the invitation is still open for Saturday. For all of you."  
  
"I'd like that," she agreed. "You're free to go. The CIA will probably arrange for someone to bring you back to Credit Dauphine and get your car. Right now we still have agents there, going through files and computers before anyone else can get to them."  
  
He nodded and started to walk towards the door. He halted and turned around to look at her as she stood in the center of the room. "Syd?" he asked, briefly pausing until her eyes met his. "I'm still really sorry about Danny... But if someone had to find out the truth about what we were doing, I'm glad it was you. If it had been someone else, I'm not so sure they would have done the right thing."  
  
She smiled brightly at him, his simple comment meaning a thousand times more than any other he had given her during their lengthy SD-6 partnership. Now he knew her - nearly all of her - and he was still proud of her.   
  
"I'll call in a few days to see if Saturday's okay. If you need anything, just call."  
  
Seconds after a guard escorted Dixon out, she walked out and Weiss approached her. "How'd it go?"  
  
"I still think he's in shock," she explained as Eric nodded, understanding. "He's going to tell his wife the truth... Diane's a good woman. She'll keep his secret, I just hope she understands."  
  
"We have a supervisory type job in mind for him, nothing as an operative. He'll be allowed to disclose his true occupation to at least immediate family. To other people he can just say he works for the government."  
  
"Good. She deserves the honesty," she commented. "I'd like to see Marshall now."  
  
"Sure," he agreed as both he and the guard led her past a few more hallways and then down to Marshall. Unlike Dixon, the tech whiz was anxiously pacing, his appearance causing Sydney to wonder if he was about ready to scale the walls.  
  
"Ms. Bristow," Marshall greeted with a polite, albeit nervous smile, his hands jammed into his pockets.   
  
"Marshall, you can call me Sydney," she reminded him as he nodded.  
  
"Of course M - Sydney," he quickly corrected. After a few seconds he attempted to grow serious. "Are they letting you go?"  
  
"Marshall... I've been working as a double agent for the CIA for a few years now."   
  
"Oh," was his only reaction. "How'd you find out?"  
  
"After my fiancé Danny, was killed. After we got engaged... I had to tell him the truth, about what I thought I did at SD-6," she explained as he nodded. "He left a message on my machine about me being a spy. Security section picked it up and had him... eliminated." She shivered as she remembered the words that Sloane had used, what seemed to her to be a lifetime ago   
  
"What's going to happen to us now?"  
  
"You and Dixon are being released today. You should expect the CIA technical guys to request a meeting with you fairly soon. They're all big admirers of your work."  
  
"Of my work? Really?" he asked with a grin as she laughed.  
  
"Yeah. They've been observing a good amount of your work for years now, they think you can teach them a lot."  
  
"Oh well," he grinned modestly as he adjusted his sweater vest. "I can try."  
  
"You're not mad at me?" she asked somberly, not wanting to let him go until she was certain there were no harsh feelings.  
  
"What's going to happen to you? Or your father? Or Mr. Sloane?"  
  
Sydney looked down at her hands for a second before looking up at him. "I've known the truth for a few years, I've retired from active duty at the CIA. I'm going to get married and stay at home with Jackie," she explained, happy when he grinned. Marshall always was a sweet man, and aside from Dixon, was the only one who asked to see pictures or consistently asked how Jackie was doing. "My father also knew the truth about SD-6's true alliances, and has also been working for the CIA for years. He's going to be working as a supervisor here," she informed him as he nodded. "As for Sloane... He knew the truth the entire time. Did you ever hear about the Alliance?"  
  
"The Alliance of 12?" Sydney nodded. "That's who we are... I mean, who we were supposedly fighting against. Except... we're actually a part of them," he said as a regretful after thought.  
  
"He was a very high-ranking member of the Alliance. The CIA has been systematically eliminating the Alliance offices over the past several months -"   
  
"When Mr. Sloane said our allies were being destroyed?"  
  
"Yes," she nodded. "He and other high-ranking Alliance members will most likely be kept in jail. I don't know what protocol the CIA intends to pursue, but I'm certain whatever it is will insure that they all spend the rest of their miserable lives in a jail cell."   
  
Marshall remained silent after that. Meeting his eyes, she gave him an encouraging smile. He was a genius - there was no doubting that - but sometimes his enthusiasm and naïveté reminded her of how she imagined Jackie being as a toddler. It was an endearing quality that Sloane had unsuccessfully spent years trying to quench.   
  
"Want out?" she asked as he nodded.  
  
"Yes. Those cots aren't particularly comfortable. Especially because of my back problems. Remember that chair I had? Do you think I could get my chair back?" he started to question, talking a mile a minute as he walked out of the CIA holding area with Sydney and Weiss.  
  
"You don't know a lot about Daddy, do you?" Mike looked at Jackie as he buckled her into her car seat. Running around to the driver's seat, he slid on his sunglasses and put the keys in the car. "You are going to grow up to be a Kings fan, your mommy and I already are. Then one day we're going to take you to a Kings game. Maybe for one of your birthdays or Christmas..." he guessed as he carefully pulled the car out of the driveway, unused to driving a sports utility vehicle.  
  
Green met green when Jackie met her father's gaze in the rearview mirror, patiently waiting for him to continue. At one month old, she relied on him for most of the conversation, he realized with a grin. "You have an aunt named Charlotte, she's my older sister. For an older sister she's not too bad, and when you're an older sister I expect you to be just as nice." He smiled when he realized he had said 'when you're an older sister' and not 'if you're an older sister'. "She's married to a great guy named Patrick. He's your uncle and a Mets fan," he explained and peered over his shoulder to add, "we're Mets fans too. Don't listen to what Mommy tells you about the Yankees."  
  
Jackie gurgled and gave a decisively gassy grin as he turned around and the light turned green. "You have two cousins. Maya's almost three and William was born less than a month after you were. Maya wanted a little sister so I'm sure she'll love you. I really never had cousins, but I'm sure you'll get to see them a lot. I think Charlotte and your mom are going to hit it off," he estimated hopefully. Getting onto the intersection towards his own home, he was relieved that there wasn't much traffic.  
  
"I played hockey in college and I went to Michigan. There's a lot of snow there during the winter, we'll have to go one time so you can see it. Plus, we'll have to go to France. It's where your grandma's from. You're going to like her, your Grandma, and I'm sure she'll love you," he smiled, hoping his mother would handle the news well. During his thirty-five year stay on the earth, he had only met one person stronger than his mother, and that was the woman he was going to marry.  
  
"I hope you like dogs honey, because I have one. His name's Donovan, I think he'll like you," he smiled. "The important thing though," he grew serious as they got off the intersection and neared his complex. "When you're older... Well... One day you'll realize that your mommy and I didn't get married until you were a few months old. People, rude people, who don't know anything about us, might not understand and could possibly say bad things to you one day. Things that people have no business in saying. Ignore it honey, because I love your mother. The day I met her changed me forever. It wasn't always easy, and don't let anyone ever tell you that something worthwhile is easy, because that's a lie. One day you'll learn things about all of us, your family, which you might not understand. None of that is *ever* going to change what your mother and I feel for each other or you, and I don't want you to ever forget that."  
  
In her car seat Jackie hummed as her father parked the car. Getting out, he winced when he heard Donovan barking, hoping his dog hadn't been at it all night. Usually his faithful companion was laid back, - the exception being when he was vacuuming - however, he could get antsy when he was lacking human contact for a long amount of time. Unhooking the car seat from the bottom holder, he carried his daughter and searched his pockets for his keys. As he unlocked the door he looked down at Jackie, smiling when she appeared to be looking around, taking in everything new.  
  
"Hey boy," he greeted, using his foot to shut the door. Donovan ran over, licking his master's outstretched hand. Setting the carrier down, he unhooked Jackie and sat down. Keeping his voice down, he called his dog over. "This is Jackie," he greeted. Holding his breath, the dog sniffed the baby's tiny feet. Then he jumped up, resting his front paws on his master's knee and started to lick Jackie's tiny features. "Jackie, this is Donovan," he pointlessly added as the dog continued to gently lick the little girl's face. After a few seconds, the dog appeared to decide that she was no threat and curled up on the floor next to the carrier, seemingly protecting it for its occupant.  
  
Holding Jackie in one arm, he reached over and pressed the answering machine. Much to his relief, the only message was from a telemarketer, promoting a new long distance service. Slowly standing, he put Jackie in the carrier as his dog followed them into the kitchen. Resting the carrier on the counter, he picked up the bowls and rinsed them out. Carefully setting down the water, he searched his cabinets for the dog food. Things in his life had been so hasty since Jackie's birth, with SD-6's destruction looming in the horizon, that he had simply tossed his previous week's groceries into wherever he happened to turn. Consequently, he found the bag of dog food next to the pretzels and the soft food in the refrigerator next to the cold cuts.   
  
Speaking to Donovan, updating him on the CIA comings and goings, he stirred the food together. After he set the food bowl down, he leaned up against the counter and watched the dog devour his food. His eyes made an inventory of everything in sight, trying to calculate how long it would take him to move. Originally, he had moved into the condo with Alice, although his name was the only one on the deed. It had taken him years to finish filling everything with just his belongings, and there was still space to decorate. By then he wasn't anticipating being there for much longer, and wondered if Sydney would want to stay where she was or move. Then he wondered what the CIA would advise them to do.  
  
With Donovan contently eating and drinking himself into oblivion, he went and picked up Jackie. Balancing her close to him, he gently bounced her and hummed a non-stop chorus of 'shhh' as he carried her back into the living room. Bringing her over to the shelves, he started to explain the photos. Picking them up as he went along, he conveyed a short story behind every picture - a photo of himself, his parents and Charlotte in front of his grandparents' vineyard in France; a photo of Brigitte, Charlotte and Michael at Charlotte's wedding... Michael's college graduation... His mother's 50th birthday... Of Maya in his lap at her second birthday... The most recent photo was Jackie's newborn nursery photo, leaned up against a figurine of the Virgin Mary that his uncle had gotten blessed in Rome.  
  
Eventually, Donovan tailed behind on his heels as he gave his daughter the official grand tour of his tiny home. Noticing his daughter starting to snooze off, he placed her gently on his bed. "Donovan, down," he hissed as the dog jumped onto the bed. Seconds later, his heart returned beating to normal when the dog simply cuddled up closely to the little girl, her instant protector. "The Bristow women do something to men," he agreed as he patted his dog's head. Opening his closet, he grabbed his now rarely used gym duffel. Searching through drawers, he carefully pieced together the necessary items of clothing. Eyeing his book and CD collections, he grabbed the things he knew he was most likely to need or want.   
  
Zipping the duffel shut, he looked up and smiled. Jackie was half awake and lying on her tummy, yet using all of the strength she had to hold her head up and look at him. She was just learning how to do that, and loved showing off her newly tuned skills to her parents. Although he knew Jacqueline was only one month old, Michael fully suspected that she already knew that she had her parents wrapped around her tiniest finger. Looking at his alarm clock, he realized that Sydney would be returning home soon. Throwing his duffel strap over his shoulder, he took a few seconds to pat Donovan's head. Then carefully picking up his little girl, he kissed her cheek and carried her out towards the carrier. "I think your mommy is going to want to see us when she gets home," he guessed as he grabbed his keys and led them out of the door.  
  
The ride back to Sydney's place was longer than the one to his place, thanks to an accident that hadn't been fully cleared up from rush hour. Swinging for a burger at a drive-thru, he drove them home while eating. Jackie slept in the backseat soundly, although he knew that he had to feed her when they got back. When the car jolted to a halt, his daughter awoke, screaming her hunger for all in the nearby area to hear. Grabbing the carrier and his duffel after he made sure he had all his garbage, he nearly dropped the keys, listening to Jackie's cries and realizing that the phone was ringing inside the house. When the door finally clicked open, he kicked it shut, dropped the keys on the sofa and reached over to get the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, it's me. Are you okay?" Sydney's sweet voice asked. "You sound out of breath."  
  
"Fine. Sorry, I was outside when I heard the phone ring."  
  
"Oh. Is everything okay?"  
  
"Everything's great," he promised. "What's up?"  
  
"I just finished talking to Kendall. Marshall and Dixon are both going home, they're both exhausted."  
  
"That's understandable," he commented.  
  
"Dad and I were going to go out to a late lunch," she explained. When he looked at the clock, he was surprised to see it was nearly four in the afternoon. "If you need me though -"   
  
"Syd, go out with your dad," he urged. "We'll be here when you get back.  
  
"Okay, as long as you're sure."  
  
"It's fine. Go out and have fun."  
  
"Thanks. Have fun with Jackie."  
  
"I will," he promised. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too," she softly replied, and he swore he heard her smile. "Tell Jackie I love her."  
  
"Sure thing," he agreed, hearing her give one last light-hearted sigh before they hung up. "This comes as no shock to you, but your mommy loves you very much," he smiled as he and Jackie walked into the kitchen. Getting a bottle out of the fridge, he grabbed the necessary pan, filling it with water before he set it on the stove. "Few minutes and it'll be time to eat," he promised.   
  
Sydney sighed heavily after wishing her father a good night and getting out of his car. Looking nervously at her watch, she felt a slight guilt descend upon her heart. It was shortly after six in the evening, and she took in the sight of her home. The lights were dark, although Mike had thoughtfully left the outside light on for her. She hoped he hadn't worried, but he had told her to have fun. Plus, knowing their daughter was with him was the first occasion she had really had not to worry. Mandy would have given her life for Jackie, she was certain, but there was no love like the love of a parent for their child.  
  
When she slipped her keys into the door, she walked into a darkened house. The television cast a bluish glow over the room as Dan Rather reported the evening news. Tiptoeing further in, she smiled at the sight that greeted her. Mike was in jeans and a T-shirt, asleep on the sofa, as Jackie slept happily on his chest, a tiny trail of drool having dripped down to her Daddy's shirt. Sydney was certain that there was not a more precious sight.  
  
Brushing her fingers over his forehead, his eyes slowly blinked open. She knew when his eyes had focused because he smiled widely up at her. "Hey," his voice was still heavy with sleep as he ran his hand over his mouth. "What time is it?"  
  
"A little after six. I'm sorry I'm late."  
  
"Nah, don't worry about it, it's not late," he insisted with a yawn. "It just seems late," he commented as she laughed.  
  
"Yeah, tell me about it."   
  
"How'd it go?"  
  
"Marshall... Was Marshall," she shrugged as he laughed. "He's fine with it, he's excited that the tech guys want to meet him and learn from him. All he ever received from Sloane was condoning, so he deserves whatever praise and admiration he gets."  
  
"What about Dixon?" Worry flickered in his eyes as he saw her _expression turn so serious.   
  
"He's okay. I think he's still in shock, although partially relieved that he can tell Diane the truth. Before the raid... Well, he invited Jackie and I to dinner on Saturday. He said that if Diane was okay with things, that we were still invited... And that you were invited too."  
  
"Me?" he asked, placing his hand on his daughter's back as she continued to breathe heavy with sleep.  
  
"Well I told him that I was marrying Jackie's father. I promised to call him in a few days and see if the offer is still open. If it is..."  
  
"I'd love to go and meet them Syd," he agreed, his smile beaming up at her.   
  
"Like the pajamas you chose," she commented as she noticed her little girl wearing a onesie with suns and moons on them.  
  
"Thanks. I've been told I should have been Versace instead of Vaughn," he explained, delighted at her laughter.   
  
"Why don't you go put her down? I'm going to take off my shoes. I'll see you in there?" she asked as he nodded.  
  
"Sure," he agreed as she bent down and placed a tender kiss on both of their foreheads. After a moment, she walked out of the room. Watching her walk out of the room, he awoke fully and slowly sat up. Kissing his daughter's forehead, he cuddled her gently as he walked her back to her nursery.   
  
Michael walked into the bedroom and stuck his hands in his pockets. Quietly, he watched her fixing the bed, her back towards him. Seconds later she turned around and met his gaze with a smile.   
  
"Are you okay?"   
  
"I will be," she promised as her smile widened. Walking towards her, he reached out and gently pushed a strand of hair behind her ear before cradling her face in his hands. Not hesitating, his lips gently crashed against hers. Using his free hand, he rested it on her lower back and pulled her closer as he felt her hands slip into his hair, gently massaging his scalp.  
  
Struggling to keep things slow - they hadn't been together in six months and she had just had a baby a month earlier - he was content to dance with her mouth, before he moved his lips to plant a firm, but gentle trail of kisses down her neck. Prying his head away from her neck, she slipped his T-shirt over his head. He continued caressing her neck with his lips, smiling when she hummed in pleasure. Not one to be unresponsive, Sydney's fingers drew nonsense patterns on his back and teased the light dusting of hair on his chest. She felt herself start to slowly fall back onto the bed, his hands gently cradling her from landing too roughly, when Jackie's distinct cry rang through the baby monitor.  
  
"S***," he muttered against her neck as she glanced at the alarm clock and gently whacked her head.  
  
"She needs to be fed," she remembered. Sliding off the bed in only his jeans and socked feet, he nodded.  
  
"I'll go get her," he assured her. When he returned, carrying the half-awake infant in his arms, she was laying on the right side of the bed, her back against the headboard. "Here she is," he smiled as he placed his daughter gently in her mother's arms. Walking around to the left side of the bed, he lay on his right side, his arms tucked under his head as he watched his daughter eat.  
  
"What did you do today with Daddy?" Sydney softly asked Jackie, patting her back as her daughter fed.  
  
"We stopped by my place to get some stuff," he explained. "I think she liked Donovan."  
  
"Donovan," she remembered as she hung her head. "Is he doing okay?"  
  
"He's fine. I fed him."  
  
"You're going to bring him over tomorrow."  
  
"Do you want me to?"   
  
"Of course. You can't just leave him there," she pointed out. "If we're going to get married, we can't just keep renting your place for Donovan." She grinned at how sweet his smile was when he looked in her direction.   
  
"I wanted to give you something," he remembered as he rolled off of the bed. Her eyes followed his form, drinking in all that she could as he searched through his duffel. Walking back over to the bed, he sat up against the headboard.   
  
"What is it?"  
  
"This watch," he started as he held a handsome, obviously aged, men's watch in his hand. "It was my father's watch. It's broken now; it has been for a while... It used to keep perfect time. When he gave it to me, he said that you could set your heart by this watch," he explained as she gazed at him, her eyes wide as she waited for him to continue. "It stopped ticking on October first. The day we met."  
  
The smile, one of acceptance and innocent joy, warmed his heart. "I love you," she whispered as he leaned down to kiss her. "I don't want to take something that means so much to you though," she continued as they separated.  
  
"I'd like us to share it. My grandfather gave him this watch when he joined the agency... I'd like Jackie to have it one day."  
  
"When did your father give it to you?" she asked, regretfully aware that his father had not lived to see the day when he joined the agency.  
  
"I was seven. Right after I made my first communion... I was horrible about it."  
  
"I doubt it," she smiled as he nodded.  
  
"Believe me, I was. Everyone had made such a big deal about Charlotte making it - I still think people make more of a deal out of girls' first communion, it's like a mini-wedding or something." Sydney laughed at his description but silently urged him to continue. "The night after my communion he brought me into his study and sat me down on his lap. He opened up his desk and pulled this out... I had seen him wearing it all the time. He told me that it was a sign that I was entering a new, important stage of my life, and that I should take it seriously, even if I'm not getting the attention I wanted... He died less than a year later..." he trailed off sadly.  
  
"I'm sorry,"  
  
He shook his head and started to lazily draw an invisible trail up and down her arm with his finger. "Don't be Syd," he insisted. "Do you want more children?"   
  
She met his eyes, her eyes wide with confusion. "Now?"  
  
"No," he laughed. "No, not now," he reached over and gently pressed a kiss against her bare shoulder. "Just... Eventually."  
  
"Yes, I do," she smiled and suddenly laughed. "When I was younger I used to read 'The Babysitters Club'. The one character I related to most was Mallory... She was one of the younger members; she was always sort of awkward and she just loved books... She was one of eight children, so I decided that I wanted eight children," she laughed at the memory.  
  
"Syd, I'm not sure we can afford to raise eight children," he gently teased.  
  
"I'm not sure anyone can nowadays," she agreed. "Then, as I got older and realized just how many eight children really was, I decided I wanted three or four... Then I went to college and joined SD-6..." she trailed off. Spending a few seconds in her own quiet contemplation, she met his eyes and smiled. "Now I just want whatever we're given."  
  
Reaching up, his lips met hers as they pulled back and shared a smile. "Do you think you could get your dad to watch her tomorrow night?" he asked, his eyebrow slightly rising.  
  
"Sure... But why?"  
  
He smiled at her and shrugged, "Just trust me."  
  
Sydney shivered and couldn't help wondering why this place was *so* cold - sure, she had expected chilly, but she hadn't expected to feel as though she should have bundled up for a blizzard. Shaking her mind of her thoughts, her eyes landed on the lone figure skating on the massive sheet of colorless ice. Even in jeans and his old college hockey jersey, he was gorgeous. This is what we should be doing, she smiled thoughtfully. No more missions or counter missions, from then on out it was only them, and their life.  
  
"C'mon Syd!" he called as he turned around and saw that she had yet to enter the ice.  
  
"What are we listening to?" she asked when she realized she was unfamiliar with the music blasting on the rink's speakers.  
  
"It's Springsteen, Syd! The Boss!" He smiled, approaching her as she laughed.  
  
"I didn't know you were a Springsteen fan."  
  
"Well, now you know." He offered her his hand. "Are you coming?"  
  
Hesitantly, she met his eyes with embarrassment. "I don't know how to ice skate."   
  
"Well now is as good of a time to learn as any," he gently pointed out as she trustingly placed her hand in his.   
  
"How did you get this place?" she asked as she cautiously took her first steps on the ice.  
  
"I called Eric, he helped me arrange it. If the Kings were playing, we would have gone to see them, but this is the best I could do."  
  
"This is great," she insisted as she held his hands. "How long have you been skating?" she questioned as he skated backwards, facing her, as he led her on her first tentative skate around the rink.  
  
"From the time I was little. My mother likes to tell people that I was skating before I was completely walking."  
  
With her imagination, Sydney swore she could almost hear Brigitte saying such things in her head. "Should I expect Jackie to have a similar fate?"  
  
"Possibly," he shrugged as his lips quirked. "Are you doing okay?"  
  
"I think I'm getting the hang of it," she agreed.   
  
"Are you happy?"  
  
"Yeah," she nodded.   
  
"This is what you deserve," he gently explained. She skated towards him and linked her hands behind his neck, unable to stop herself from smiling up at him. "Seriously Syd, this is what I want to give you," he promised. "We should be going to Kings games and jogging together and mini-golfing..."  
  
"Go to story time with Jackie together..."  
  
"Story time?" His eyebrow rose as she grinned and nodded.   
  
"We've just gone a few times, but she likes it. It's never too soon to expose her to literature."  
  
"You want her to be a literature professor," he playfully accused.  
  
"And you want her to be the Kings' first female player."  
  
"How'd you know?" he asked as she laughed and placed a gentle, quick kiss on his lips. "All we both really want for her is to be happy, healthy and safe," he reasoned as they separated.   
  
"Do you think Donovan likes my place?" she questioned. The dog had moved in that afternoon. He had walked into the home, sniffed around a little, and licked Sydney's hand before he used his nose to find Jackie's room and fell asleep under her crib.   
  
"I think he's too busy being Jackie's loyal companion to care where he is."  
  
"I thought he was your dog," she joked.  
  
"So did I," he laughed.   
  
"This is great."  
  
"I'm glad you like it," he agreed. "How about I teach you how to play hockey?" he suggested as he slowly let go of her. Using her quick reflexes, she caught his hand before he was out of her grasp. "Yeah?" he asked as he once again skated closer to her.  
  
"I just wanted to say how much this means to me... And how much I love you."  
  
"I love you too," he kissed her. As he turned away from her, he skated towards the outside of the rink, where he had put the necessities for hockey. "Now, I'm going to let you win this time Syd, but *only* this time," he explained as he handed her a hockey stick and then began to set up for a game.  
  
"I don't need you to let me win," she bantered, her eyes closely following him as he skated the ice, preparing for the game.   
  
They played three fifteen-minute games of hockey - Mike let her win the first one, and they split the following two. Afterwards, they returned home, having a cup of coffee with Jack before going to bed. Sydney contently snuggled next to him in bed that night for the few hours of sleep before it was time to tend to Jackie again, content that she had discovered domestication at it's best. 


	3. Trying Normal Chapter 3

Title: Trying Normal Chapter 3  
  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Story Summary: "Can I be normal?"   
  
He shrugged, "what does normal mean anyway? You can be happy though, and that's about as close to normal as anyone can hope for." (Sequel to "Coming to Terms")  
  
This Chapter: A wedding date is set, the engaged couple bond & Ben & Jack have a chat.   
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own ANY of these characters; they belong to Bad Robot, ABC, and the brilliant J.J. Abrams. Nor do I own anything recognizable. Don't sue.   
  
Authors Note: IMHO this is a short chapter, and I apologize for that, but I thought I'd made you guys wait long enough. I'll TRY to post another by Christmas, BUT I'm sick & busy so I make no promises. Also I'm working on the first chapter of my next big story - don't expect that until this one's done. Keep in mind that I never INTENDED on writing a sequel to "Coming to Terms" - I really never even thought I'd finish that. Originally the ending was going to be this page and a half long summary that tied up everything by being a retrospect of when Sydney's fifty. I was going to put that as the last chapter of CtT, but if I did that now you'd probably all maul me. So work with me here.   
  
Also, if anyone knows anything about Armenia or was in the Peace Corp. or knows anything about the California real estate system, please feel free to e-mail me because I might need some help sometime soon.   
  
"Syd, c'mon, we're going to be late!" Michael called over his shoulder in a hushed voice. He watched as Sydney finished adjusting the soft baseball cap on Jackie's head. Content that their daughter was warm, she shut the passenger's door and walked over to him, their daughter nestled next to her in the snugli.  
  
"How are we going to be late? Did you make an appointment with the sun gods?" she teased as their fingers intertwined.  
  
"You're not funny," he playfully insisted, handing her a decaf _mocha from Starbucks - her favorite.  
  
"I'm funnier than you," she smirked and took a sip of the coffee. "This place is even more beautiful before the sun rises," she noticed as they walked along the familiar pier. This time there was no emergency, no fear of being watched or keeping their covers intact; instead, it was just the tiny family of three, enjoying the Los Angeles sunrise from the pier. "Do you have any idea," she paused to yawn, "how early this is?"  
  
"This was your idea," he shot back, his free hand carrying his own Styrofoam Starbucks. "You're the one who kept us out late playing hockey."  
  
"You're just mad because I won two games and you only took one," she teased.   
  
"I'm sorry," he said seriously.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"This is what we should have been doing…This would have been a good six month anniversary date… But we're already engaged and I've never even taken you on a proper date."  
  
"So?" She smiled and shrugged. "You don't consider breaking into the Vatican together or when you broke into SD-6 to save us a romantic escapade?"   
  
Mike laughed and shook his head. "It's not what you deserved Syd."  
  
"We didn't date. We courted."   
  
"Courted?" His eyebrow rose at the term, his eyes scanning the pre-dawn sky.  
  
"You were there for me and took care of me in the sweetest ways. You romanced me in such a sweet way…" she trailed off thoughtfully. When he saw the blush slowly rise to her cheeks, his face broke out in a wide smile. No matter how he viewed their relationship, it was obvious she had no disappointments.  
  
"I'm not done yet," he reminded her.   
  
After she smiled and nodded, she looked down at her feet as they walked along the wooden pier. "It's still weird for me, not getting up and going to Credit Dauphine… I have so much clothes in my closet that I'm certain I'll never wear again. I'm thinking about giving them to Amy. Or maybe Maya and Jackie could use them for dress up one day," she suggested lightly. Mike smirked with a nod. "I've been thinking about it though… About that life… I don't regret it. Sure, there are parts of it that I regret," she added and met his eyes. "If we had waited… Or if I had never found out the truth about SD-6… I wouldn't have either of you," she explained as her eyes briefly cast down to their daughter. "What do you think about June 19th?"  
  
"Hmm?" he asked, yawning and confused.  
  
"It's probably too soon, I'm not sure… I just thought June 19th would be a nice day to get married…"  
  
Looking at his watch, he realized that the date was in exactly a month. Meeting her eyes, he was unable to quench the excitement he saw there. It wouldn't be easy, but if she wanted it, he knew the strings to pull to make it happen. "It's probably too soon… I don't have a dress or a location and we need a priest and a license - " she started to ramble when he didn't immediately respond.  
  
"Syd, I've already put in the papers to make you my emergency contact. I've also started the necessary papers to have Jackie added as my dependent and to have myself added to her birth certificate and change her last name. It's not too soon for me. I can get us a location, if you think you can find a dress that you want and take care of what you need to take care of."  
  
"You don't think I'm being ridiculous?"  
  
"No," he smiled and shook his head. "Eric's sister is a photographer, I could probably get him to ask her to help us. Plus, I think I know a great spot for a wedding that I'm positive is available."  
  
"Where?"   
  
"It's a surprise," he smiled. "You'll find out soon enough."   
  
Sydney nodded, trusting his promise. "I want the reception at Francie's restaurant."  
  
"If it's what you want," he agreed with a shrug. When his sister had been frantically planning her wedding to Patrick, he had watched his brother-in-law sit back and allow his sister to plan the entire thing. In the end both Charlotte and Patrick were pleased with the result.   
  
"This is the first place where I realized we were in trouble," she confessed as they stopped walking, leaning up against the side rails. Standing closely to him, she let her body rest safely against his, his arm coming around her shoulder as the sun started to rise.  
  
"When you told me you were pregnant?"   
  
"No," she laughed and shook her head. "A long time before that. The night that my father stood me up for dinner… God, I just called and you were there. You were on a date or something too, weren't you?" she remembered in horror. He had never mentioned what he had been doing that night, but when he had met her at the pier it was obvious he hadn't just been at home watching a hockey game.  
  
"Yeah. With Alice. She wasn't too happy with me after that," he remembered.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be," he shook his head. "I'm not. I'm not what she wanted. We tried to work through everything . . . Last I heard she was engaged to some lawyer from Palisades."   
  
"I should call Dixon today to see if we're still okay for Saturday."  
  
"Do you think you will be?"  
  
"I hope so," she shrugged. "I hope that if Diane did something drastic like kick him out he'd come to me. He's my friend Mike, if he needed something I'd give it to him."   
  
"I know," he nodded. One of the things he admired and loved best about her was the way she treated those she cared about.   
  
"Is your mother going to like me?" she asked softly, drawing him out of his contemplations of the many reasons why he loved her.  
  
"I told her I was bringing a woman to dinner on Sunday. That's all I told her," he confessed as her face fell slightly. "I want to tell her everything Syd, and I will… I just couldn't do it over the phone."  
  
"I know you will," she smiled up at him, all of her faith in him evident on her face. "Are you going to tell her about my mother?"  
  
"Yeah," he nodded. "She's had to cope with it for nearly twenty five years… She still visits him every week, still talks about him like he's only been gone a week… She's my mother Syd, she deserves to know."  
  
"You're right," she agreed. "Your mother deserves to know."  
  
"But?" he gently urged, squeezing her hand and reading her obviously troubled _expression.  
  
"What if she holds it against me?"   
  
"Syd," he breathed out as his arm tightened. "You're not your mother, nor are you responsible for her sins. Anyone who knows anything about you knows that you would never betray your government."  
  
"Your mother doesn't know me," she feebly reminded him.  
  
"She will soon enough," he encouraged with a smile.   
  
"At least we know my father likes you."  
  
"Yeah," he smiled, hoping his _expression didn't betray his thoughts. One detail he vividly remembered of his first meeting with Jack Bristow was seeing the wrong end of a gun barrel. Luckily, the two men had come a long way in the years that had passed, having developed a mutual respect and understanding. Truth be told, he couldn't guarantee that Jackie's first serious boyfriend wouldn't face the same fate, although he prayed the circumstances would be far removed from the life they had lived.  
  
"What is it?" She easily read his gaze, having grown far too adept to seeing his concerned _expression over the years.  
  
"It's nothing… I was just remembering the first time I met your father."  
  
"Let me guess, Jack Bristow lived up to his reputation."  
  
"All that and more," he agreed.   
  
"Sorry you had to go through that."  
  
"He's your father, he didn't know who I was or what I wanted, I would have been disappointed if his reaction was anything less." In truth, Jack hadn't been entirely wrong that first day they met. Even early on, a tiny part of him enjoyed the thought that part of what got her up in the morning was meeting with him. "I might not have always agreed with your father's tactics Syd, but he is brilliant at what he does."  
  
"Yeah," she nodded. "When I told him we were getting married, he didn't seem at all surprised."  
  
"Were you trying to surprise him?"  
  
"I don't know," she shrugged, briefly lost in thought. "I don't know what I was expecting… He said he had expected that we'd get married, especially since Jackie, but I still thought he'd have more to say. At least he agreed to walk me down the aisle. Then he asked if you made me happy."  
  
"And you said?" he teased as she laughed.  
  
"I said yes!"   
  
"We should probably expect the opposite from everyone else we tell," he advised.  
  
"By that you mean everyone else will gladly let us know what a mistake they think we're making?"  
  
"Oh yeah," he playfully agreed. Once their laughter died down, they locked hands and continued to walk the pier.  
  
Later that morning Jack walked down the familiar halls of the CIA headquarters. Walking into Devlin's office, he bypassed the secretary with a slight nod and knocked on Ben's door. "You wanted to see me?" He slipped into the room and looked at his old friend.  
  
"Yes Jack. Please come in and sit down."  
  
"Ben, is something wrong?"  
  
"This appeared on my desk today," he said as he handed Jack a folder. Flipping through it he saw that it was paperwork, all filled out in Agent Vaughn's sloppy hand, to make Sydney Bristow his emergency contact. Underneath that were the necessary forms to start the process of adding himself to Jacqueline's birth certificate and changing her surname to Vaughn, all while making her his dependent.   
  
"Yes?" Jack's eyebrows rose slightly as he put the folder back on Ben's desk.  
  
"This is not good Jack."  
  
"Why not?"   
  
"Agent Vaughn was your daughter's handler throughout the majority of her duration as a double agent for the CIA. These documents would indicate that the office suspicions are correct and that Agent Vaughn breached the contract of agent and handler relation. This could result in serious implications for him."  
  
"My daughter is no longer an employee of the CIA. All these documents indicate is that Agent Vaughn has offered to be my granddaughter's father and is close to my daughter. It indicates nothing more," he said sternly. "I suppose to some that it could *imply* that they broke the agent-handler contract, but if they did, neither of them let it alter their job performance."  
  
"What do you suggest I do with Agent Vaughn?"  
  
"Nothing," Jack said blankly. "There's no need for disciplinary action when there is no evidence that the agent-handler contract was breached. These documents are simply evidence that they are now good friends. Confidants supposedly. We both can agree that it's not unusual for an agent and handler to remain in contact even after one or both of them retire."  
  
"Naming a former asset as an emergency contact is a little more than remaining in casual contact through Christmas and birthday cards."  
  
"You asked me for my suggestion. My suggestion is to do nothing. I firmly believe that Agent Vaughn, regardless of any appropriate or inappropriate attachment he has to my daughter, is an asset to this agency. His work has been consistently exceptional, and without him as her case handler, I question whether Sydney would have been able to achieve as much as she did."  
  
Jack knew Ben was technically above him, although barely a superior. His words were true however; he saw no reason to punish Agent Vaughn, particularly when his daughter was no longer an agent at the CIA. Plus, he firmly believed that the improper - and he admitted to himself that it *was* improper - attachment that his daughter and future son-in-law had shared as employees of the CIA had only been beneficial to all involved.  
  
"What do you know?" Ben questioned.  
  
"Pardon me?"  
  
"What do you know Jack? You were never Agent Vaughn's biggest supporter, and here you are telling me it's basically pointless to punish him for breaking a *very* crucial rule regarding handler-agent behavior."  
  
"Agent Vaughn has shown consistently good work and was effective as my daughter's handler."  
  
"What else is there?" Ben pressed. After so many years of friendship it was obvious there was something Jack wasn't letting on.  
  
"I'm not entirely convinced I should be the one to tell you this, but I suppose now is as good of a time as any." He readjusted his position in the chair and then looked up at his friend. "Sydney and Agent Vaughn intend to marry."  
  
"Come again?"  
  
"Agent Vaughn will be my son-in-law one day soon. So perhaps my suggestions are founded on a personal desire to see my daughter happy, but it is also my professional opinion that whatever bond they shared prior to the destruction of SD-6, was beneficial to my daughter and to the agency."  
  
"And you're okay with this?"  
  
"I want my daughter and granddaughter happy," he shrugged. "Ben," he met the man's gaze, hoping to plead with the emotional side that he knew lay underneath the firm exterior of the CIA Director, "My daughter and Agent Vaughn were competent professionals when the situation called for it, I assure you. However, I can tell you on good authority that you can't always control your emotions, or stop loving someone even when your head is telling you it's not what you should feel."   
  
"You can assure me that Agent Vaughn is not going to form an emotional attachment to another agent under his supervision?"  
  
"I can assure you that if the opportunity arises where Agent Vaughn is shown to have an emotional attachment to another asset - especially a *female* asset - I will handle him myself."   
  
Ben smirked. He was familiar with all of Jack's methods. Silently he hoped that Jack was right, and that no emotional attachment would be formed again. Not only because he liked Sydney Bristow and would be saddened to see her hurt, but even he was hesitant to consider what would happen to Agent Vaughn if another one of his handler-agent relationships ever turned personal.  
  
"You have my word on that Ben," Jack vowed. Both men stood and shook hands.   
  
"Congratulations," Ben said as Jack's eyebrow rose. "I hope that Agent Vaughn makes Sydney very happy."  
  
"Yes, as do I," he politely smiled before exiting the office.  
  
"Do you want to start telling people?" Mike asked as Sydney looked up curiously. Early that evening Jackie was slouched in her swing sleeping while her parents were stretched out on the floor. Sydney lay on her belly, chin in her hands while Mike lay across from her on his side, his head held up by his hand. A massive jigsaw puzzle - one depicting the Eiffel Tower - was spread out on the floor in front of them.  
  
"Huh?"   
  
He laughed and clicked two pieces together. "I think it's safe to assume that Francie, Charlie, Will and Jennie will probably stop by tonight. Should we tell them about our engagement?"  
  
"We should tell your mother first," she reasoned, brushing a piece of hair back behind her ear. "I want to tell Francie and Will, but Will plans on asking Jennie to marry him on Saturday. I don't want to steal that from him, especially when your family doesn't even know."  
  
"Once my mother is over her shock, she'll want to throw an engagement party," he mused, remembering the massive party that she had thrown when Patrick and Charlotte became engaged almost ten years ago.  
  
"What were your parents like?" she asked softly. "When you were little, what do you remember them being like?"  
  
"My mother was only nineteen when they were married, barely twenty when Charlotte was born. When my sister got married, I remember her saying that she wondered if her Honeymoon baby would come back with a Honeymoon baby," he remembered as she smiled. "Then she was almost twenty two when I was born."  
  
"You and Charlotte are that close in age?"  
  
"February of '67 to November of '68," he explained. "My father was a few years older than my mother… Nothing too drastic, he was twenty-five or twenty six when they were married. He was a tall guy, everyone says I look a lot like him…" he trailed off, as Sydney's smile grew small, searching his face for resemblance to the one black and white photocopied picture she had seen of William Vaughn. "They were great together… They were always laughing. Dad would complain about work and then Mom would complain about work and then they'd spend the rest of the night making bad jokes about one another's occupation…" His lips cracked into a smile as he recalled the long-buried thoughts. "I remember one time, I was probably four or five… My mother could be a real workaholic. She was a wonderful mother, she still is, but she loves her work… She also loves to nap," he laughed at the memory. "My mom is a champion napper, she always has been. One time Mom fell asleep in the living room and Dad couldn't get her to wake up. He tried everything, then he left the room. Charlotte and I had no idea what was going on, until he returned with some water in a pan."  
  
"Oh, he didn't!" She laughed as she tried to imagine William Vaughn with his younger wife in earlier, easier, playful times.   
  
"My father was a former frat boy, he was actually the president of his fraternity senior year. From anything I've ever been told, he was a consummate professional at work, but at home he loved a practical joke. So, in an attempt to wake my mother up, he dumped the cold water on her."  
  
"What did your Mother do?" She laughed.  
  
"My mother is not one to be outdone. They ended up in a water fight in the kitchen, she used the sink hose and he found my water gun. By the end of the day the floor was soaked, it was a disaster," he chuckled at the memory. "They were always goofing off. If we went someplace in two cars for some reason, on the way home Charlotte would go with my mother and I'd go with my father and they'd race one another to see who would get home first. My father came up with some of the most incredible short cuts, all in an attempt to get home first."  
  
"Who won?"  
  
"Most of the time Mom and Charlotte did," he confessed. "One thing that my father did not possess was a good sense of direction, and most of his short cuts ended up getting us lost for a few moments along the way."  
  
"They sounded like they were really happy."  
  
"They were," he agreed. "They both loved old cars and ghost stories… Hockey, they both loved hockey," he smiled. "We moved here from France when I was two or three… But I remember that my mother was so excited about moving to America and my dad was so nervous that she wouldn't do well."   
  
"I'm assuming your mother did fine."  
  
"She was more popular with our neighbors than he was," he explained.  
  
"What does your mom do?"  
  
"She's a nurse. It took her six years to get her degree, since she was going part time, but she got it. She worked part time while we were growing up, and she stopped working when Maya was born."  
  
"Your mother must be a great grandmother."  
  
"She loves it," he grinned. "It's going to work out Syd. We've worked too hard to have all of this fall apart when it should just be coming together."  
  
"What's your favorite CD?" she asked, a delicious grin spreading over her face as she clicked a few puzzle pieces into place.  
  
"Syd, not this game again!" he playfully groaned. One of her favorite things to do during their secret late night rendezvous, while lying in his arms and fingering the light dusting of hair up and down his arms, was ask him inane questions. The more inane, the more she seemed to enjoy asking them.  
  
"Mike, it's not a hard question," her _expression was blank, although he easily noticed the mischievous twinkle in her eye.   
  
"Fine. Springsteen's Greatest Hits."  
  
Her lips curled, and somehow he suspected she had known ahead of time what he would say. Some wonders, such as Sydney Bristow, would never cease to amaze him.   
  
"Least favorite book?" he shot back.   
  
"Steinbeck's 'The Pearl'. I must have read it three times in eighth and ninth grade and I hated it more each time," she recalled. "Why did you name your dog Donovan?"  
  
Mike looked over as his dog slept curled up next to the swing. "I'm pretty sure he's Jackie's dog now." They laughed at his correction. "Are you sure you want to hear this story?"   
  
"After three years of sharing my boring anecdotes with you, Agent Vaughn, my ears are wide open."  
  
"Alice was with me when I got him in 1996. That was the same year that she had this ridiculous crush on a Canadian Olympian named Donovan Bailey. Now it's a little known fact that Alice is allergic to dogs, so when she showed up one day and I had a dog, she wasn't too happy. To appease her I let her name the dog, and Bailey just seemed so… girly." His nose wrinkled as he continued, "I didn't want Donovan's dog buddies picking on him for having a girly name, so I allowed her to name him Donovan."  
  
"There was a guy on Party of Five named Bailey."  
  
"Still sounded girly to me," he huffed. "Donovan is a *boy* Syd, and I *know* he's a dog, but I didn't want some well intentioned stranger questioning my dog's masculinity."  
  
This time Sydney was unable to stop her laughter. Rolling over onto her back, she hugged her stomach as her laughter filled the room. Eventually Mike's lips cracked into a smile, silently relenting that it was a slightly ridiculous take on how he named his dog.   
  
"Are you going to be terribly disappointed if we ever have a son and he's not the quarterback of the football team?" she asked as she got back into her former position, wiping away the tears of laughter that had sprung into her eyes.  
  
"Of course not Syd. Just… Imagine that Jackie is a few years older, but her hair is short. Would you really want someone to come up and ask you if your toddler is a boy or girl?"  
  
"You realize Jackie's our *daughter* and Donovan's our *dog*?" she teased as he grumbled.  
  
"When was the first time you slept with someone?" he asked as her eyes widened.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What?" he asked innocently. "It was a perfectly reasonable question, Agent Bristow," he teased.  
  
"Listen… I wasn't really popular in high school, and I went to the all-girls part of the school. Then in college I was busy with work…." she trailed off nervously.  
  
"Syd, it's okay," he said sincerely. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want."  
  
"No, it's okay," she smiled. "I *wanted* to sleep with Sam my senior year," she recalled.  
  
"The guy from senior prom?" Mike clarified as she nodded. "But?"  
  
"But… I didn't know him that well. Growing up, Mandy was the one to give me the sex talk. Obviously that wasn't something I could address with my father," she explained. "She explained to me that it might just be an act, but you're only going to have your first time *once*. You can't take it back or fix it. The first time, any time really, should be a *gift* of myself to another person. Everything about it seemed terrifying. Really, I was terrified of the entire thing until I was in college. As much as I was interested in Sam, I was just as relieved that it didn't happen… Plus, I *was* raised going to church regularly, and there was a point where that was extremely important to me. I even had a religion minor for three semesters."   
  
"And?" he gently prodded. The last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable; he hadn't expected the question to make her so nervous.  
  
Sydney brushed hair behind her ear and smiled. "His name was Dan. He was really sweet; he was always on the injured list on the baseball team because of this reoccurring foot injury. We had gone to the same prep school but never really met until Francie and her boyfriend Baxter set us up sophomore year."  
  
"Francie dated someone named *Baxter*?"  
  
"Baxter was on the basketball team and at the time, Francie felt 'so very lucky' to have him," she smirked at the memory. "Anyway, Dan was a business and communications major… He was so sweet. We didn't even kiss until we'd been together for seven months," she laughed at the memory. "We slept together March of my junior year. I was almost twenty one."   
  
"Whatever happened to Dan?"   
  
Sydney let out a heavy sigh and continued, "April of my senior year I told Dan I was going to Russia for two weeks on a business trip. Oddly enough, I *was* actually going to Russia that week. There was this big bank forum that was meeting there and it was all over the news so none of my friends thought it was unusual. Anyway, the day before my birthday Dan arrives at my hotel. Luckily, we had completed a major part of the op and he didn't jeopardize our cover. He took me out on one of the most beautiful nights I had ever seen. Then he proposed to me."  
  
"You said no?"   
  
"I said no," she agreed. "I wasn't ready… I loved Dan, and he was so wonderful, but I just couldn't promise anyone my life yet. So how old were you Agent Vaughn?" Her eyebrows lifted as he looked down at the puzzle.  
  
"Nineteen. We'd won a hockey game to take the conference title that year and that was… Um... "  
  
"Your congratulatory present?" she smirked.  
  
"I was nineteen!" he reminded her.  
  
"Age is always a great scapegoat," she agreed. In truth, she wasn't the wisest at nineteen either. That age would always be marked in her mind as the age she joined SD-6.  
  
"Honestly I was just glad to get it over with. Every other guy I knew had - or at least claimed to have - slept with someone at least once. I could only handle being called 'Vaughny the Virgin' for so long."  
  
"They actually called you that?" She laughed as his cheeks burned.  
  
"I was an athlete," he reminded her. "Most college guys, never mind college athletes, aren't too hesitant when given the option to get into someone's pants."  
  
"So you were a ladies man," she teased.  
  
"Not exactly; I just knew a lot of them."  
  
"Sure," she skeptically appeased him.  
  
"C'mon! How would I have had time to play hockey, take the courses I was taking *and* get into Michigan Law if I was a ladies man?" he pointed out as she silently conceded defeat. "So what were you like in college?"  
  
"Ugh," she groaned. "My social life can be summed up in three words - dorm salad bar," she confessed as he laughed. "I was so busy with work and the only friend I really had was Francie. She thought I was nuts, since I was taking every foreign language offered at UCLA. Did you know they offered eighteen languages?"  
  
"Now I do," he grinned. "Were you always good at languages?"  
  
"No," she rolled her eyes at the idea. "Would you actually believe I nearly failed Spanish during my freshman and junior years of high school? Both times it literally came down to me passing the final to actually pass the course."  
  
"I guess we know that moving to Spain is out of the question."  
  
"I could do it," she confidently insisted. "I can speak it, fluently, but sometimes it takes more thought process as opposed to when I can just open my mouth and it'll naturally come."  
  
"How did you manage to learn all of those languages *and* get your credit courses *and* the necessary credits for the English degree all while working for the bank?"  
  
"I never stopped," she sighed. "I was *always* taking classes - intersession, summer sessions; if they offered the opportunity to take a course during a break, I'd jump on it. That's probably part of the reason why my social life revolved around the salad bar," she sheepishly grinned.  
  
"So of those eighteen, how many do you know?"  
  
"All of them," she shrugged. "There are some - such as Hebrew and Armenian - that I can only carry on a very basic conversation or read something crucial in. The others that I'm fluent in."  
  
"You're amazing," he complimented.  
  
"So are you," she smiled. "I'm sure you were amazing in college."   
  
"Not like you were. I wasn't saving the world," he joked.  
  
Sydney's face fell as she clicked two more pieces into place and sighed, "Neither was I."  
  
"Hey," he gently beckoned, silently kicking himself in the ass for his seemingly harmless comment. She met his eyes, her brown ones full of regret. "Sydney, you thought you were doing good, you thought you were working for the good guys. Eventually you were, and you won."  
  
"I wish I could see me like you do," she whispered.  
  
"Syd," he reached out for her hand. "I'm always going to be here. You'll see yourself like I do one day, I promise, even if it's the last thing I achieve."  
  
Her face broke out into a smile. Precariously bending over the puzzle, her lips met his, their exchange broken by Jackie. Quiet fusses quickly turned into full-blown screams, as she demanded her parents' attention.  
  
"I think I smell a Jackie gem," he smirked as he moved to stand.  
  
"A 'Jackie gem'?" Her eyebrows rose as he shrugged. Sydney's brown eyes remained watching as he unbuckled and picked their daughter out of her swing, making an exaggerated face of disgust as he sniffed the back of her onesie.   
  
"Did my little girl do a big number two?" he asked her as Sydney laughed. "C'mon sweetie, let's go get changed."  
  
"Are you sure you got it?" she called as he started to walk down towards the nursery.  
  
"I got it Syd!" He promised as he walked out of sight. 


	4. Trying Normal Chapter 4

Title: Trying Normal Chapter 4  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
Story Summary: "Can I be normal?"   
He shrugged, "what does normal mean anyway? You can be happy though, and that's about as close to normal as anyone can hope for." (Sequel to "Coming to Terms")  
This Chapter: Mike meets the Dixons, Sydney meets the Vaughns.   
DISCLAIMER: I don't own ANY of these characters; they belong to Bad Robot, ABC, and the brilliant J.J. Abrams. Nor do I own anything recognizable. Don't sue.   
  
Authors Note: I'm sorry . . I was sick. UConn lost to Oklahoma last night ::sob:: so be happy that your getting anything at all. OMG, how LOVED Sunday's episode! ::screams into a pillow!::. Everyone in my families sick, I'm sick, so I'm not 100% on my game. Good news is I finished my novel a few days ago and it's EXCELLENT! I'm SOO happy guys; of course my sister cried when she read it (it's sad, your SUPPOSED to cry) and my sister's boyfriend (okay, not offically, but they've both liked one another for years) gave me a title so now I'm happy! :) Hopefully now you can all be happy with this!  
  
DEDICATION: Okay . . Whoever it is that wrote a 65k review composed of UPDATE! UPDATE! over and over again, this is for you! You made me smile & proved to me that, regardless of what I may think, "Trying Normal" is far from forgotten.   
  
  
  
"Michael is bringing a woman to dinner?" Charlotte asked, the phone balanced between her ear and her shoulder as she spoke to her Mother late Saturday afternoon.  
  
"Yes. I'm just as surprised as you are. Hopefully this mysterious date won't back out at the last minute."  
  
"You believe he's made this up?"  
  
"I believe that your brother is determined to make sure I never see the Vaughn name carried on!" Brigitte sighed as her daughter laughed.  
  
"Maman you know that's not true. Michael just doesn't want to settle. You were never particularly fond of Alice anyway."  
  
"I suppose your right," she relented. "I'd rather never have grandchildren then see your brother end up with Alice."  
  
"Alice was very nice," she defended.  
  
"Alice was a very nice young woman, but she wasn't the right woman for Michael. They dated for years and she never once went with him to a hockey game, not once. It was understandable in the beginning, but after such a long relationship how could you at least not try to attend one game when you know the person you love is so passionate about it? Remember Michael attended 'Phantom of the Opera' for her and never complained about it once?"  
  
"He complained about it," Charlotte amended and chuckled. "Just never to you or Alice. I'm curious Maman, who *do* you want to see Michael with?"  
  
"Someone as smart as he is, someone who can challenge him. Alice was never as intellectual as Michael was and we both know it. Someone who inspires Michael to actually want to start a family . . . Preferably someone who's Catholic," she finished feebly.  
  
"That's it!" Charlotte laughed. "You could never forget that Alice was Lutheran, could you?"  
  
"It would have been very difficult to balance if they had had children. You children can't very well ignore thirteen years of Catholic school - seventeen years in your case, Charlotte. Nor can you ignore the fact that Uncle Charles is a very respected local priest. Any person's religion can play a very important part in one's life, and I would want the same to go for my grandchildren."  
  
"Neither Michael nor I has ever been particularly religious Maman."  
  
"You've become more so since college and you've been married. I always hoped the same would go for your brother, at least when he has children of your own. As inactive as you may be in your religion, it's something you want to pass on to your children. Alice was Lutheran, it would have been natural for her to want to pass that to her children and it would have created an unavoidable conflict of interest."  
  
"Well I don't think its Alice. It's someone entirely new."  
  
"Her name is Sydney," Brigitte corrected. "We met a girl named Sydney a few months ago at the mall, did I tell you about her?"  
  
"Yes. You mentioned she had her baby shortly before I had William."  
  
"Exactly," Brigitte remembered. "She seemed like a wonderful person . . I just worry that Michael's missing out on so many wonderful women because of the possibility of them having children."  
  
"You don't think he wants to be a stepfather?"  
  
"Given his upbringing I'm not sure he knows how," she sighed. One thing she never regretted was the fact that she had never remarried; her children had done fine without a Father and she had never found anyone that sparked in her half of what she had felt with her late husband. Instead she had had her children to raise and her work to keep her busy. She just hoped that if the opportunities arouse that Michael wouldn't back out of a relationship due to the possibility of being a stepfather.  
  
"Maman no one knows how to be a step-parent until it happens. I've never known Michael to willingly back out of anything if it's something he's passionate about."  
  
"Law school?"  
  
"He went for two and a half years. Then he got his security clearance for the agency and didn't want to work for the Office of General Council. He wanted to be slightly more hands on. At the time you thought it was wonderful, remember? Less travel, less danger?"  
  
"I suppose," she sighed. "Does Michael resent me for wanting grandchildren?"  
  
"No Maman," Charlotte laughed as she sat down to feed her youngest child while Maya snored softly on the living room floor; she had fallen asleep playing with her sleepy baby brother.  
  
"He'd be a wonderful husband and Father . . . Perhaps I should invite Charles to dinner, he could counsel - "  
  
"Maman Michael doesn't need counseling. He's only thirty five!"  
  
"By then your Father was already married with two children!"  
  
"Things are different now Maman, men get married for the first time at forty! Bringing a girl to dinner can only be a good sign. We need to trust that he knows what he wants in life. Some men never even marry or have children."  
  
"Yes, I know . . I just always thought your brother would."  
  
"So did I," Charlotte agreed. "He still might Maman. He's hardly an old man. Plus we don't want him to rush into something and marry someone that we all hate and he'll regret, do we?"  
  
"I want you and your brother happy, you know that," Brigitte scolded.  
  
"Michael was always very fussy when it came to dating women and you always said he wasn't picky enough. Maybe he'll surprise us tomorrow."  
  
"I certainly hope your right."  
  
At the same time the topic of their conversation was patiently abiding by Sydney's driving directions, strumming his fingers against the steering wheel in an attempt to remain calm. The last few days they had allowed themselves to ignore the rest of the world. They had watched television together, gone grocery shopping together and had taken Jackie to Story time that morning at the library. Both knew that it couldn't last; eventually it would be time to return to the real world. Dinner with the Dixon's was just the beginning of that, and he tried to remain calm. If he were that nervous about meeting her former SD-6 partner he couldn't imagine how difficult the next day would be for Sydney.  
  
"Are you okay?" She asked gently, the nervous tension radiating from him reminded her of heat coming from a furnace.  
  
"I'm fine," he smiled at her.   
  
"Diane and Dixon are going to love you," she assured him. "Turn right," she directed as he pulled into the driveway of a modest albeit handsome house in a suburb of Los Angeles. "We're here," she unnecessarily pointed out as she unbuckled her seatbelt.  
  
"I'll get Jackie," he nervously croaked as he got out of the car. Walking around to the passenger's side of the car, he opened the door and unclipped the car seat from the holder as his daughter continued to sleep.   
  
"This is going to be fun," she took his hand and gently squeezed it. Smiling up at him she reached up and pushed his sunglasses back up his nose before leading him towards the front door. "It's lasagna," she whispered. "You love Italian food."  
  
Before Mike could reply the front door opened. Diane Dixon was a petite, attractive woman in her mid-forties dressed in a casual slip dress with her hair pulled back out of her face. The moment she saw Sydney, a smile crossed her face and she pulled the younger woman into a hug. "Sydney! You look so good sweetheart!"  
  
"Thank you Diane, you look great too," she sincerely complimented. Pulling back she reclaimed Mike's hand and gently pulled him towards her. "Diane Dixon, this is Michael Vaughn. Mike's Jackie's Father."  
  
"Well it's wonderful to meet you!" She smiled and shook his hand. "You've been the topic of much speculation! I must say your daughter looks an awful lot like you!"  
  
"Thank you," he smiled with slight hesitation.  
  
"Take that as a compliment because she doesn't give many," Dixon said as he stepped into the doorframe behind his wife. "You must be Michael Vaughn."  
  
"Marcus Dixon?" He asked as the men shook hands. "I've heard a lot about you."  
  
"I wish I could say the same about you," Dixon smiled back.   
  
"Well what are we doing?" Diane laughed as she moved out of the door. "Come on in, I know Deirdre's been going crazy asking when she'll get to play with Jackie again!"  
  
"I'm sure Jackie's ready to play," Sydney smiled as they walked into a living room, surrounded by warm, soothing earth tones and comfortable, overstuffed furniture.  
  
"I have to say you look wonderful Sydney. Jackie's not even two months old and you already look like you were never pregnant!" Diane complimented as she motioned for all of them to sit down.  
  
"Thank you, I wish I could say I felt that way," she explained as she took a seat on the loveseat next to Mike and across from Diane and her former partner.  
  
"So, Michael, what do you do for a living?" Diane asked as Deirdre walked into the room. After a brief introduction to Sydney's new beau, she sat down on the sofa and impatiently watched Sydney unbuckle the baby and then hand Jackie to her.  
  
"I work for the government," he hesitantly explained. Given the recent revelations regarding SD-6 and Dixon's profession he was unsure of how the pair would take the news, but they seemed unfazed as they continued the conversation.  
  
"Will you be working with Marcus?" Diane questioned as she motioned for them to try some of the appetizers.  
  
"I'm not sure yet," he admitted. "I've been on vacation for the last week to be with my family."  
  
"How long have you two been together?" Dixon asked, curious to the nature of their relationship and how long his former partner, who he still felt was family, had been with this man.  
  
"Well . . " Sydney glanced at him and pushed hair behind her ear. Dixon smiled at what he recognized to be Sydney's 'thing'. If any of their enemies had ever wanted to see through Sydney's myriad of sophisticated aliases it would have been the ear tuck that gave her away.  
  
"*Officially* we've been together about a week," Mike chuckled. "Unofficially for about a year and a half."  
  
Next to him she nodded, estimating that it had begun about a year and a half before. The beginning of their relationship had been bumpy - one step forward and two tiny steps back, dancing around protocol and unspoken emotions and the complications that arose from such a life. There had been periods where they'd had to step away, misreading each other or just needing space. They'd always ended up back with one another, sharing what no one else could appreciate.  
  
"Do you intend on helping Sydney and taking on your role as Jackie's Father?" Dixon soberly questioned.  
  
"Marcus!" Diane hissed, the embarrassment obvious on her face before it ever reached her face.  
  
"What?" He looked at his wife and whispered. "Officially or not, we love Sydney and I want to make sure she and Jackie are taken care of!"  
  
"For the record," Michael spoke up and drew their attention off of one another towards him. "I have every intention of being Jacqueline's Father and assuring that they're both taken care of."  
  
"Good," Diane smiled and stood up. "Well, he's passed my test," she confessed and looked at her husband as Sydney laughed. "I just hope you like lasagna," she looked at Michael.  
  
"I love lasagna," he complimented.  
  
"Great," she smiled. "I should go get dinner ready."  
  
"Here, let me help you," Sydney insisted as she stood up and followed Diane out of the room.   
  
That left Michael alone with Marcus. Looking over at Deirdre playing with his little girl, he racked his brain for some topic of conversation. "I owe you an apology," he realized as Marcus looked at him in confusion.  
  
"Pardon me?"  
  
"Sydney . . . We met through the CIA," he explained. "I was her handler. I was the one who told her under no uncertain terms could she tell you the truth about the organization you worked for," he explained. Reaching out he almost touched his nostrils with his finger, well aware that it was what he did when speaking of something uncomfortable.   
  
"Sydney must really trust your judgment to follow your orders," he cracked a smile as Mike laughed.  
  
"Not at first, but soon enough she did."  
  
"You've got an amazing woman on your hands."  
  
"Thank you, I know," he smiled.   
  
"Are you ready for the challenge?"  
  
"I sure hope so," he admitted as they both laughed.  
  
"Take care of her. Take care of both of them," he warned the younger man in a tone devoid of humor.  
  
"I will. That's all I've wanted to do for a long time," he confessed.   
  
"Your daughter does look like you."  
  
"She looks like Sydney," he insisted. "Which is how I wanted it to be."  
  
"Has Jack met you?"  
  
"Yes," he nodded. "I met him shortly after I started working with Sydney. He makes an . . Interesting first impression."  
  
"Despite his reservations, I'm sure your aware that Jack is fiercely protective of his daughter and as a result his granddaughter as well."  
  
"Yes," he recalled the barrel of a gun being Jack's way of introduction.   
  
"I've worked with Sydney for years, and as a result I am also fiercely protective of her."  
  
"I have no intention of letting Sydney go or hurting her."  
  
"So you intend to make her an honorable woman by marrying her?"  
  
"If she'll have me," he smirked as Dixon laughed.  
  
"I trust Sydney's judgment," he explained before meeting the younger man's eyes. "I like you."  
  
"I've heard a lot about you over the years, the feelings mutual," he smiled as they reached out to shake hands again, this time in understanding.  
  
"So gentleman, are we ready for dinner?" Diane asked as she walked back in the room, accompanied by Sydney.  
  
"I'm always hungry," Dixon stood up as his wife laughed.  
  
"Deirdre, why don't you give me Jackie and go wash up?" Sydney suggested.  
  
"Okay," she agreed as she handed the baby back to her. Cuddling her baby close, Mike watched as Sydney softly spoke to Jackie as she arranged the baby in her arms. "What are you looking at?" She smiled at him, as they were briefly alone in the living room.  
  
"You with Jackie," he smiled. For him it was still a gift to be able to openly watch him; he'd even found himself not sleeping at night, instead watching her soft breathing and checking on his daughter as she snored in her slumber.  
  
"Do I have something on my face?" She asked as he shook his head. "Diane likes you," she whispered as he approached her.  
  
"Dixon really cares about you," he told her as she nodded.  
  
"I really care about him too," she agreed as she rubbed her daughter's back. "Are you hungry?" She questioned as she gently placed her daughter back in the car seat.  
  
"Yes," he smiled as she took his hand.  
  
"Good, your going to need all the appetite you have. Diane makes the *best* lasagna on the west coast."  
  
"Then I guess it's a good thing I came," he teased as they walked into the dining room.  
  
Sydney hadn't been wrong when she said that Diane liked him; both Dixon and Diane seemed to like him. Deirdre was so preoccupied with checking on Jackie and begging her parents for a little sister that she barely noticed the new guest that her parents' friend had bought. The conversation had flowed easily; Diane and Dixon had honeymooned in the same area of France that he had grown up in and they spoke in depth about the area as Sydney listened eagerly. Perhaps her former occupation had taken her all over the world, but she'd never really traveled to just see or experience something, and she was eager to begin.  
  
They returned to Sydney's home late Saturday night. After feeding Jackie a bottle, Mike offered to change her and put her down for bed so she could enjoy a bath. After a slight discussion, in which she insisted that she was capable of putting their daughter down and he assured her that he just wanted her to relax, he walked away with a rare win. Smiling to himself he started to change his daughter as he heard the water in the bathroom running as she prepared her bath.  
  
Sydney opened her eyes when she felt a breeze of cool air entering the bathroom. Looking up from her bubble bath she smiled as Mike walked in. Barefoot with the top buttons of his shirt undone and his sleeves rolled up to his upper arms, she couldn't help but notice how attractive he was as he plodded down on the tile floor next to the bathtub.  
  
"Did she go down?" She asked as he reached out to take the loofa and began to soap up her arms.  
  
"Yep, out like a light. Something about the car puts her out," he noted.  
  
"Only highways," she explained, leaning forward to allow him access to her back. A smile appeared on her face as he pressed a kiss right under her ear.  
  
"I love you," he whispered before returning to his work. "Why only highways?"  
  
"Something about stopping agitates her."  
  
"Then L.A. traffic should kill her by the time she's driving," he noted as she laughed. "You know your going to be fine tomorrow," he reassured her as he cupped some of the bath water in his hand and rinsed the soap off of her back.  
  
"Actually, I was thinking about Will."  
  
"You were thinking about Will in the bath tub?" He leaned back on his feet to look at her as she nodded. "Should I be concerned?" He teased.  
  
"No; I was wondering if he asked Jenny or not."  
  
"That's right, he was going to pop the big question tonight," he remembered. "Do you think she'll say yes?"  
  
"I hope she says yes," she sighed. "It was difficult enough for the three of us to make the change when Francie got married," she remembered. "Now that I'm getting married, I don't want Will to be the odd man out," she explained as she let out another heavy sigh. "My Father and I are close now, but Will and Francie will always be my family."  
  
Michael smiled, his body devoid of any jealousy. It had taken him awhile to come to the realization that whatever special relationship Sydney shared with Will, it was closer to the type of familial relationship she shared with Francie then the relationship she shared with him. The relationship meant a great deal to her, but it was no cause for jealousy or worry of any kind on his part.  
  
"I don't know Will or Jenny well, but they seem happy together. I just hope Jenny doesn't feel it's too soon."  
  
"It's going to drive me mad not knowing," she admitted, turning around in the tub just in time to see him laugh.  
  
"You'll find out soon Syd, I'm sure once Will and Jenny get out of bed you'll be one of the first people they call."  
  
"Please don't mention Will in bed with anyone!" Her nose wrinkled in disgust as he continued to laugh. "Do you want me to mention Charlotte sleeping with her husband?" She pointed out as his laughter died down.   
  
"That's not fair," he shot back as she grinned.  
  
"I'm getting out, could you get me a towel?" She asked as he stood up and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her as she stood. "Thanks," she smiled as he pressed a kiss against the side of her neck. "It hasn't been six weeks," she regretfully reminded him as he started to plant a trail of kisses towards her shoulder.  
  
"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" He muttered as he continued to torture her with his lips.  
  
"There are rules," she explained, quickly forgetting her words as he started to kiss back up her neck.  
  
"Haven't you noticed we break a lot of those?" He teased as she laughed. Pulling away he gave her a dry expression. "Six weeks?" He asked as she nodded. Taking her hand he started to lead her out of the bathroom.  
  
"Where are we going? I'm only in a towel!" She laughed as he continued to pull her towards the kitchen. Opening a random drawer, he pulled out a yearlong calendar.  
  
"Our daughter was born?" He prompted, although she knew he was well aware of the date.  
  
"April 11th."  
  
"Today's date?"  
  
"May 22nd."  
  
Pointing towards April eleventh, he started to count aloud, "one. . Two . . . Three. . Four . . Five . . Six," he groaned when he realized that six landed him on the 23rd of May. Looking over at Sydney, he started to pout at the mischief in her eyes. "Tomorrow's the twenty third," he groaned as he buried his face in the side of her neck, resting his hands possessively on her hips.  
  
"Are you implying that you want me to break my doctor's rules, Agent Vaughn?" She teased as he looked up at her.  
  
"I'm *begging* you," he whispered as she laughed. Her hands went up to cradle the sides of his face before she leaned up to kiss him.   
  
"You put Jackie in her room, right?" She whispered as he eagerly nodded. Laughing she took his hand and led him towards the bedroom.  
  
"Thank god we're rebels," he muttered as she laughed and shut the bedroom door behind them.  
  
  
  
Early Sunday afternoon Brigitte Vaughn stood in her kitchen. Making her son's favorite dinner - chicken cordon bleu - was something she enjoyed, but it wasn't the easiest meal to prepare. Looking up from her preparations she smiled as her eldest daughter walked into the room. "What's the score?"  
  
"The Dodgers are beating the Diamondbacks, 3-1 in the third inning," Charlotte reported. "When is Michael due to arrive?"  
  
"He should be here shortly," she sighed.   
  
Michael sat behind the wheel of the Jeep and turned off the intersection, driving in the familiar direction of Woodmont Haven. Looking over at Sydney, he smiled, in awe of her ability to keep on her game face. Apparently she's more Jack Bristow's daughter then I thought, he mused.  
  
"This is a pretty area," she noted, as the houses they passed by grew larger. They had driven for forty-five minutes down the coastline until they reached the shoreline city of Newport Beach.  
  
"We're actually about fifteen minutes from the house," he explained. "We grew up in the Woodmont Haven section of the town," he explained. If he was expecting a reaction from his admission, he received none. "I should probably warn you that my Mother comes from a very well to do family in France. I still have cousins in France, my family runs very successful wineries throughout the country."  
  
"Okay," she smiled, still unsure of where he was heading with the conversation. Her smile disappeared when they pulled to a stop in front of a security gate. A white security booth was set up outside and a security officer stepped out to meet them. Eyeing the black Iron Gate, she forced herself not to be nervous when she realized that they were at the entrance to Woodmont Haven.  
  
"Hello Mr. Vaughn, it's been awhile since we've seen you," the guard smiled as he handed Michael a clipboard to sign in on. "Bringing some guests up to the house?"  
  
"Sydney, this is Mr. Walters. Joe, this is my fiancée Sydney and our daughter Jacqueline."  
  
"Daughter?" The aged guard asked before letting out a low laugh. "OOh, Mrs. Vaughn ought to have a good time with this one! Good luck!" He called as he opened the gates and allowed them entrance.  
  
Mike looked over at Sydney and smiled sheepishly. "I'm fine," she insisted with a smile. Her eyes, however, betrayed her fears to him, just as they always had.   
  
As they slowly drove by the massive estates, he turned onto a rounded driveway. Sydney's breathe caught when an Italian Mediterranean estate came into view. There was a large garage attached to the house and he came to a comfortable stop behind a Lexus Sports Utility Vehicle. Assuming it was Charlotte and Patrick's car, Sydney felt suddenly unprepared for what was head.  
  
The sound of a car in her driveway had caught the attention of Brigitte's well-tuned ears. Standing at the sink she watched as her son got out of an unfamiliar red Jeep. Slamming his own door shut, she smiled at her son's manners as he went around the passenger's side door. Seconds later her jaw dropped when a woman she instantly recognized got out. Charlotte noticed her Mother's reaction seconds later as Brigitte's mouth remained wide open as her son grabbed a baby seat carrier out of the back seat of the Jeep.  
  
"Maman, what's wrong?"  
  
Shutting her mouth and setting down her towel, she turned and smiled at her daughter. "It appears your brother and his guests have arrived."  
  
"Guests?" Charlotte questioned as she followed her Mother towards the front foyer. When her Mother gave no reaction, she called for her husband to bring the children and meet them in the foyer.  
  
Opening the front door Brigitte watched as her son and Sydney Bristow climbed the steps hand in hand. Upon closer inspection it was obvious to Brigitte's eyes that the baby in the carrier was her grandchild. If nothing else the eyes and the chin cleft that both Michael and Charlotte had inherited from William were dead give away.  
  
"Maman," Michael greeted as his Mother allowed him access into his childhood home.  
  
"Michael," Brigitte replied as she shut the front door and turned to look at him.  
  
Despite the fact that all of the Vaughn's eyes were on her, Sydney was taken away by the home's traditional interior. There were shining hardwood floors for as far as the eye could see along with beautiful moldings and a massive staircase in the center of the foyer. The exterior had only been a brief indication of how handsome the home appeared to be.  
  
"Unca Mike!" Maya screamed in delight, running into the foyer and going to hug her Uncle's legs. The little girl was oblivious to the tension that only increased as her Father walked in carrying baby William. Tearing herself off of her Uncle's legs, she looked at the baby her Uncle was carrying and the woman he was accompanying. Smiling up at him, she silently awaited the same explanation as the rest of the family.  
  
"Mom, Charlotte, Pat, Maya, this is Sydney Bristow and our daughter Jacqueline," he introduced, bringing his finger up to wipe the bottom of his nose.  
  
"Your daughter?" Charlotte asked numbly as her brother nodded. "Well this is certainly a surprise," she muttered.  
  
"How about we go to the living room?" Brigitte suggested as she started to lead them to a cozy family room. "Please Sydney, Michael, make yourselves at home."  
  
Sydney glanced nervously at her fiancé as they sat together on the loveseat. Placing the carrier on the floor, Sydney kept herself briefly busy by unbuckling Jackie and picking her up, carefully resting the baby in her arms. Once again sneaking a peak at Mike, she silently waited for him to begin.   
  
Resting his elbows on his knees, he joined his hands and looked at his Mother, sister and brother-in-law. Maya was busy sitting in front of the swing where William was sleeping and eyeing her new baby cousin with obvious interest. "I met Sydney three years ago. Until very recently she was working as a double agent for the CIA, helping take down one of our largest enemies. Her cover was working at a bank downtown; no one, with the exception of her Father and the CIA, was aware of her true occupation. My job was as her handler," he explained as his sister snorted. "Her life was very dangerous and if anyone even knew that she and I had contact, the organization for which she worked for would have her terminated. Thanks to Sydney's work, the CIA was able to dismantle an entire organization that was spread throughout the world. Without Syd, it would have taken us years to accomplish what ended up taking us only three years."   
  
"Jacqueline?" Brigitte asked, folding her hands in her lap.  
  
"She was born April 11th. I wasn't even able to meet her until she was a few days old," he explained.  
  
"She's a beautiful baby," Brigitte said softly as Sydney smiled her thanks.   
  
"Maman, there's more," he said softly. His Mother eyed him closely, wondering what else he could say that would probably have her waking up the next morning with white hair. "Sydney's Father is a man named Jack Bristow. For years he was also a double agent for the CIA. During my work with Sydney, we learned that in the late 1960's the KGB sent one of their agents over to America. Her job was to get close to a CIA agent and gain information on a highly classified project that the United States government was working on.   
  
"During her time in America she still performed several operations for the KGB. During her operations she murdered twelve CIA operatives. She was the woman who murdered Dad," he explained. Sydney found herself unable to look at the family across from her, instead focusing on her own child. Internally she wondered who would win if Brigitte gave him an ultimatum, whether he'd walk away from the family he had always known or whether she'd be left to raise Jackie on her own.  
  
Swallowing back her tears, Brigitte locked eyes with her son. "Is there more?"  
  
"Yes, it gets worse," he confessed. "During her time in America, in her efforts to gain classified information, she married a CIA agent. Her name was Irina Derevko, but her alias was Laura Bristow."  
  
Biting her lower lip, Brigitte stood and ran her fingers over the fabric of the sofa. Charlotte remained silent, cuddled up next to her husband's side as she kept looking at her Mother. Her Mother walked around the room, eyeing the photos and family mementos that filled the room. It had always been one of her favorite rooms; it had been one of the children's favorite rooms to play in growing up, and William had always loved it.   
  
Turning around she looked at her son and the woman he had brought onto her property. She didn't need her son to spell out the obvious implications behind his words. It was plainly written on his expression as well as the guilty expression of Ms. Sydney Bristow. "Laura Bristow was your Mother," she spoke as Sydney looked up. Her brown eyes were briefly startled but she nodded.  
  
"I'm so sorry -"  
  
"Don't," Brigitte waved a hand to stop her. "No one can expect you to amend for the sins of your Mother," she said quietly. Looking at her son she locked eyes with him. "If you don't mind, I'd like to speak to Michael alone for a moment."  
  
"Of course Maman," Michael agreed as he stood and followed his Mother into the adjoining room. Brigitte closed the door and started to speak in a loud French, unaware that Sydney could understand everything she said.  
  
"You now have a child who you not only kept a secret from your family but has one grandmother who killed her grandfather!" Brigitte scolded in French. In the adjoining room Charlotte sent Sydney an uneasy smile, which she returned.   
  
"Jacqueline is a beautiful baby," Charlotte said softly.  
  
"Thank you, William's adorable," Sydney returned. Maya walked over to the sofa and climbed up next to Sydney  
  
"Maya, leave -" Patrick started to command her to leave the baby alone when Sydney shook her head that it was fine. Smiling she carefully placed her daughter in Maya's tiny arms and then returned to listening to Brigitte and Michael's conversation.  
  
"When Jacqueline is older we'll explain -" he started to reply in a slightly softer tone.  
  
"How long have you known about Sydney's affiliation with your Father's murder?"  
  
Sydney could almost hear him hesitating before he replied, "most of our time working together. Probably two and a half years."  
  
"I don't think there are words to describe how disappointed I am in you!" She angrily spat. "First you conceal the fact that your having a *child*, even after I met Ms. Bristow! Then you hide from your entire *family* that you know the truth behind your Father's death! It was entirely inappropriate for you to remain her close colleague after you knew the truth Michel! What could have possibly possessed you to behave as you apparently have been? To keep an entire part of your life hidden from your family?"  
  
"I couldn't walk away from Sydney!" He hissed in French. "I couldn't let her handle this by herself, and I couldn't tell you anything because it would have put her in danger! I was *not* going to put her in danger!"  
  
"You should have walked away years ago Michel!"   
  
"I couldn't do that Maman!"  
  
"Explain to me why not? Apparently you've only buried yourself in further trouble!"  
  
"I love her Maman," he said in a resonated sigh. Squirming uncomfortably on the once comfortable sofa, Sydney smiled at Maya and touched her daughter's hand, for the first time in her life wishing she didn't know French.  
  
Brigitte sighed and looked at her only son, her anger bleeding in to sympathy. "You love the child of the woman who killed your Father?"  
  
"I loved her before that," he confessed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I loved her the day I met her. Do you remember Dad's watch?"  
  
"The one he gave you after your communion?"  
  
"Yes, he told me I could set my heart to that watch," he reminded her. When he spoke again his voice was soft as he found a way to explain, "It stopped the day I met Syd."  
  
"You had a child Michel, you told none of us any of this," she shot back. This time her voice lacked its previous harshness, instead a resigned reminder.  
  
"I love Sydney and I love Jackie, I wasn't going to jeopardize them or you and Charlotte by telling anyone. They're my family Maman, don't make me choose between them and you."  
  
Brigitte sat down and sighed, "I won't make you choose, since I know you wouldn't choose us."  
  
"Please Maman, get to know Sydney. She's nothing like her Mother. No one feels worse about her Mother's actions then Sydney, and if she could go back and change them I know she would."  
  
"She loves you too."  
  
"Yes," he agreed as he cracked a smile.   
  
"I don't know what to say Michel, this is *not* what I was expecting this weekend."  
  
"You always wanted grandchildren," he pointed out helpfully as his Mother laughed. "Right now she's Jacqueline Michele Bristow, but soon enough she'll be Jacqueline Michele Vaughn."  
  
"You had a child out of sin Michel."  
  
"Sydney and I plan on getting married," he explained. "I'd like your permission to use the terrace on June 19th for our wedding."  
  
"Oh Michel," she stood up and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she paced. "This is so much to take in at once."  
  
"Yes, I know," he nodded.  
  
Looking up, Brigitte brushed hair out of her eyes and gave her son a small smile. "Is she catholic?"  
  
Michael stood as he laughed. "Yes, Sydney's catholic, and she even waited until everyone met so Uncle Charles could baptize Jackie."  
  
Walking over to her son, she placed her hands on his elbows and looked up at him. "This woman means everything to you," she realized softly. Before he could respond, she continued, "I see it in your eyes Michel. I can kick and scream about this all I want, but you are going to do what you feel is right, which is always what I wanted you to do anyway," she smiled. "She must be a truly wonderful woman if she's made you feel this way and makes you this happy."  
  
"She is Maman," he promised as he pulled his Mother into a hug.  
  
"What do you do for a living?" Sydney asked Charlotte pleasantly in the adjoining room, reassured that the Brigitte and Michael's yelling had died down.  
  
"I'm a marriage counselor," she explained as her husband smirked. Sydney laughed as Charlotte nudged Patrick in the ribs and rolled her green eyes. "What do you plan on doing?"  
  
Deciding it was not a good idea to mention her sabbatical from the working place, she shrugged, "I haven't decided yet. I graduated with my Masters in Literature a year or so ago, and I'd like to be a literature professor one day."  
  
"Where did you study?"  
  
"UCLA, undergraduate and graduate," she smiled. "What about you?"  
  
"Loyola Marymount, unlike Mikey I wanted to stay close to home."  
  
"Mikey?" Sydney laughed at the new nickname.   
  
"I wouldn't call him that. The first time I met him I called him Mikey and he damn near killed me," Patrick warned.  
  
Sliding open the door to the adjoining room, Brigitte glided in followed by her son. "Sydney, I hope you can pardon our abrupt departure," Brigitte said as she sat down on the sofa next to her daughter.  
  
"Yes, of course," she nodded and briefly met Michael's eyes. He sat down next to her and took her hand.  
  
"Be careful Maya," he warned his niece, who smiled up at him.  
  
"Well Sydney, I hope you enjoy chicken cordon bleu," Brigitte smiled.  
  
"Sounds delicious," she smiled. "Mrs. Vaughn -"  
  
"Please, call me Brigitte," she insisted.  
  
"Brigitte," she corrected. "You have a really lovely home."  
  
"Thank you, I've lived here since we moved to America. Are you originally from California?"  
  
"No," she shook her head. "I was born in West Virginia, but I spent most of my life here."  
  
"Well do you live near here?"  
  
"I have a place in Los Angeles."  
  
"Where are you working now?"  
  
"Oh," she pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and remembered to keep a smile on her face. Meeting Danny's family had never been an issue, and she found herself briefly wishing that it hadn't been an issue with Michael either. "I'm not working at the moment, but I would like to be a literature professor."  
  
"Do you plan on returning to work this fall?" Charlotte asked. Sydney glanced over at Michael, waiting for him to speak.  
  
"Syd's going to take the next school year off, be a stay at home Mom to Jackie," he explained.   
  
"It was very smart of you to put some money aside so you could take time off with Jackie," his sister noted as Sydney looked nervously at her lap.  
  
"Actually, Char, Sydney and I are going to get married. Next month, actually."  
  
"Really?" Charlotte asked as Michael nodded. "Congratulations!" She cried as she grabbed her husband's hand and stood up. Walking around the coffee table Charlotte and Patrick hugged the other couple. "Obviously this is sudden for the rest of us, but congratulations, I'm sure you'll be very happy together," she commented as they sat back down. "So what type of wedding did you have in mind?"  
  
"Something small," Sydney smiled.  
  
"Before we leave I want to show Sydney the terrace, I think it'll be a perfect location for a ceremony," Mike spoke up.  
  
"If you want it, you two are welcome to use it," Brigitte said softly. Throughout the short dialect she found herself carefully studying Sydney, wondering what sort of resemblance she bore to the woman who had torn William from her. There was something in Michael's face, however, a gentle undercurrent to how he held her hand and smiled at their daughter that she found herself wanting to believe that this woman was who her son felt she was. "What about your family?"  
  
"My Mother . . Left when I was six," she carefully worded. "Until recently my relationship with my Father was . . .Nonexistent. I have good friends, Will and Francie; I've known them since college. Francie's married to Charlie and Will's seeing a girl named Jenny. They're my family."  
  
"Does your Father know of your . . Intentions to marry my son?"  
  
"Yes," Sydney nodded.   
  
"I've known Jack for a few years," Michael admitted, not backing down when Brigitte sent him another disapproving gaze.   
  
"He was . . . Not surprised when I told him the news," she explained.  
  
"That's nice," Charlotte spoke up, trying to ease along the conversation. "You said your relationship was nonexistent until recently. That's changed?"  
  
"Slowly," Sydney agreed. "I can talk to him now, and he's a wonderful grandfather for Jackie, which is more then I expected," she smiled.  
  
"Do you plan on selling your apartment Michel, and moving in with Sydney?" Brigitte questioned.   
  
"We haven't worked out the details yet," he admitted. "I've brought Donnie over to her place though, and it's where I'm spending most of my time," he confessed.  
  
Suddenly Jackie's cries broke through the awkward conversation. Looking over at the girl who would soon be her niece, Sydney tried not to laugh at the panicked expression on Maya's face. "It's okay, she's just hungry," Sydney assured the little girl as she took back her daughter.  
  
"I'll go warm up the bottle," Mike grabbed a bottle out of the diaper bag and began to stand.  
  
"I'll do it," Brigitte stood. After he handed her the bottle, her son smiled at her, realizing that it was her first step in accepting the way things now were.  
  
"Michel . . . . It's going to take her some time," Charlotte whispered after their Mother had walked out of the room. Turning towards Sydney, she smiled at the family newcomer and at the infant she was attempting to calm. "Motherhood's a tricky thing, isn't it?" She asked as Sydney laughed.  
  
"Actually I'm really enjoying it," she confessed, her voice raised to be heard over her daughter's cries.   
  
"When was she born?" Patrick asked.  
  
"April 11th," Michael answered. "She was eight pounds and twenty inches," he added proudly.  
  
"How big is she now?" Charlotte questioned, internally relieved that her own son hadn't been disturbed.   
  
"She was a little under nine pounds at her last appointment," he explained.  
  
"She looks a lot like both of you," Patrick noted as they thanked him.  
  
Brigitte walked back into the room seconds later, carrying the warm bottle. As she approached Sydney she kept the bottle to herself and smiled down at the younger woman. "Would you mind if I fed her?"  
  
Glancing briefly at Michael she looked back at Brigitte and shook her head. "No, of course not," she agreed as she stood and gently placed her daughter in her Grandmother's arms. The room was quiet as Brigitte sat carefully down in a plush wing chair, her eyes on the baby as she adjusted the infant in her arms and started to feed her.   
  
"What are you calling her?" Brigitte asked softly as she balanced the baby in her arms.  
  
"We've been calling her Jackie," Sydney explained. "I named her after Michael and my Father."  
  
"It's a beautiful name," the Vaughn matriarch cooed down to the infant in her arms. "Is she always such a champion eater?"  
  
"Usually," Sydney laughed.   
  
Looking up at her son and future daughter in law, Brigitte silently watched the way they held hands and the silent glances they shared when no one thought they were looking. They were striking couple and when they were together it was impossible to deny what they shared. How her son's superiors at the CIA had remained oblivious for so long was a mystery to her. Together they had found the rare gift that she had shared with her William; a gift that she had always wanted her children to find. Perhaps her Michel had not found discovered it in the type of woman that she had imagined, but he had discovered it. At the heart of the matter, that's all that mattered.  
  
"You two have been very blessed," she said softly as Sydney and Michael shared soft smiles and thanked her. "How about a tour?" She suggested as they all stood and she allowed her daughter to lead a tour through the expansive home.  
  
Sydney Bristow was, on all accounts, a perfect guest and Jackie was as well behaved as one infant could be. Maya loved her new baby cousin, and asked her Uncle on multiple occasions if she could come over and dress her up some time. The little girl even sat on the study floor after dinner, watching her brother and new cousin as they slept in a portable playpen. Then once she grew bored with that she climbed up onto her Uncle's lap and listened as her Uncle and Father debated the Mets play off chances.  
  
After the sun went down Brigitte walked out onto the terrace to find Sydney standing there. The younger woman was looking out how the dusky sky painted over the beautiful view of the ocean. Looking at the beach Sydney had realized that months earlier Michael had taken her there to help pay her final respects to her Mother. Regardless of his own feelings towards Irina Derevko he had once again put them aside. Instead he had offered her a private sanctuary where she could say the goodbye and find the peace she had desperately needed. Her discovery was just another thing she had to add to the many reasons why she loved him.  
  
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Brigitte asked as the other woman whipped around, startled.  
  
"Yes," she smiled. "It is."  
  
"Would you like some tea?" She offered as she set down a tray with a pot of warm tea and a few mugs.  
  
"That'd be nice," she agreed as she sat down and took the mug Brigitte offered her.   
  
Looking at the younger woman, Brigitte saw a spark of herself in her younger years. A quick estimate helped her decide that Sydney Bristow was, at the most, in her early thirties. By that age, Brigitte was a widow while Sydney was just ready to begin her marriage. The look in Sydney's brown eyes, however, reminded her of her own reflection in the days of her engagement to William. A certain spark that no amount of acting or false enthusiasm could produce.   
  
Taking a sip of her tea, Brigitte set her mug down on the table and looked at the young woman. "Your Mother caused our family a great deal of pain."  
  
The look Sydney gave her was enough to break a thousand hearts. Her sons earlier words rung true in her heart; the young woman in front of her would have traded in nearly anything to correct her Mother's wrongs. "Brigitte, I can't -"  
  
"You can't Sydney," she stopped her. "You can not be expected to bear the weight of your Mother's sins. Just as no one except Michael ever expected him to bear his Father's responsibilities to this country. I would be lying if I said that I'm disappointed and hurt by my son's non-disclosure of his life with you, of his unwillingness to share Jacqueline's arrival . . . Perhaps a little bit of disappointment in your lack of honesty at our chance encounter," she said softly as Sydney looked down at her hands. "The truth is my son loves you a great deal. Perhaps more then any woman deserves to be loved. I would know - my William loved me just that way," she remembered as Sydney smiled. "In one respect you are luckier then I ever was," she explained.  
  
"How so?" Sydney asked softly.   
  
"One of William's faults was that the one thing he loved more then me was this country. I don't believe that's the case with Michel. He'd betray this country before he'd ever let anyone go near you."  
Sydney looked down at her tea and brushed hair out of her face, "that's not how it should be," she whispered.  
  
"Perhaps not for two CIA operatives, but it is how it should be with a man and a woman," Brigitte calmly corrected. "I don't want us to get off on a bad foot Sydney, although Michel informed me that you're fluent in French so I suppose we already have," she smiled as the younger girl laughed and nodded. "I was starting to believe my Michel would never get married, and I told my daughter just the other day that he was determined to make sure I never see the Vaughn name carried on. That's obviously not the case. Instead he was waiting for you, and waiting until it was safe for you. As disappointed as I am in his . . . Deceit, I am proud of how loyal he is to you, and I appreciate his need for secrecy."  
  
"Mike never wanted to hurt you," Sydney explained as the elder woman nodded.  
  
"I know," she assured her. "As difficult as it was for us after my William died, I suspect it must have been even more difficult for you. You lived your life believing your Mother was this wonderful woman who died . . Then you learned that everything you believed in was a lie. I am sincerely sorry you had to experience that. For what it's worth, I'm sure you as a Mother know that regardless of the circumstances around a child's conception, once your a Mother you can't stop loving that child. I'm sure that there must have been something good in your Mother, just as there's something good in everyone, and a large part of who she was as a good person had to do with you."  
  
"Thank you," she whispered as Brigitte smiled.  
  
"Perhaps, next weekend, if you and my son aren't busy, you could come again. Perhaps bring your family this time? Your friends, Will and Francie, are of course invited to come. That way we could all get to know one another before the wedding."  
  
"I'll speak to my Dad about it," she smiled gratefully.   
  
"This place will be a beautiful place for a wedding," Brigitte noted as Sydney's smile widened.  
  
"You don't mind us using the terrace?"  
  
"No, I'd be insulted if you didn't," she insisted as Sydney smiled. "Your welcome to use the house for the reception as well."  
  
"Francie owns a restaurant, I was hoping to have the reception there."  
  
"That sounds wonderful," she smiled warmly.   
  
Looking out towards the sky, Brigitte took a sip of her tea. Obviously deep in contemplation, she looked over at Sydney and sighed. "I don't suppose I know how to say this any other way."  
  
"What's that?"   
  
"Welcome to the family."  
  
  
Next Chapter: Vaughn returns to work . . Did Jenny say yes? . . . . Oh, and the King of Evil makes a guest appearance! Please R & R! Last chapter didn't do as well as I was hoping, so maybe this one will do better! Even if you hate it (okay, don't flame me without a good reason; CONSTRUCTIVE criticism) please tell me! 


	5. Trying Normal Chapter 5

Title: Trying Normal Chapter 3  
  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Story Summary: "Can I be normal?"   
  
He shrugged, "what does normal mean anyway? You can be happy though, and that's about as close to normal as anyone can hope for." (Sequel to "Coming to Terms")  
  
This Chapter: Vaughn's back to work, and we encounter Sloane for the first time in this story.   
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own ANY of these characters; they belong to Bad Robot, ABC, and the brilliant J.J. Abrams. Nor do I own anything remotely recognizable.  
  
Sorry this chapter's so short.  
  
A/N: There were two things that I noticed I got criticized on for "Coming to Terms", and I felt I should explain them now. Not that you guys weren't right in criticizing me, but I wanted to clarify some stuff, that's all :)  
  
You didn't see a significant (actually, basically none, although there was the scene in the hotel after Vaughn's bday) romantic interaction between S/V because I was writing it like you'd see it on the show. Let's face it, if that ever happened and Sydney got pregnant, J.J. would probably pull a CC and not let us see much, if anything, instead let us read between the lines. Alias is a LOT about reading between the lines, and I think that's part of the beauty. If my fanfic is able to portray any of that, then I'm thrilled.  
  
Duh= pull a CC=not confirm a relationship between the babies parents. Still P.O.'ed about that  
  
Truth be known, I do believe the end of SD-6 will be far more violent then I portrayed it. However, I'm not particularly good at violence; I'm driven by characters and character interaction. I do believe that it's a pretty decent idea to pull apart the Alliance one cell at a time and if that ever happened, the other cells would probably start to fall under the weight of their own corruption (or they might start to fall under the weight of their own corruption & distrust between the Alliance members even if the cells weren't strategically eliminated).  
  
Hope that settles some questions.  
  
Oh . . Yeah, I have SOME experience with how Brigitte might have felt in regards to Vaughn not telling her about Jackie. I have a half sister who I didn't even know was on the way until the day before she was born, and I had asked my Father about it MONTHS before (I got this mysterious e-mail . . . don't ask, long story) and he said that nothing of the sort was happening. So, it might seem like a weird reaction, but I don't think Brigitte would hold it against her son. One, a Mother's love ISN'T like that, and there comes a point in your life where you just have to let sleeping dogs lie. Things are as they are, and past mistakes aren't going to disappear just because your still holding a grudge about it. I accepted that truth at twelve, I'd like to believe that by the middle of her life, Brigitte would accept it as well. Particularly as a Mother; that's probably the hardest part about being a Mother (and as a slight control freak, the one I'm not looking forwad to), you can love your children and give them your morals and beliefs, etc., but at the end of the day it's THEIR life and you just have to love, accept and do your best to guide them.   
  
Did I mention that I don't have any children? Like I said, I have experience in regards to my half sister, but I've never been mother; well, except to Phoebe and regardless of what she think's she's only a dog . . just my 0.02  
  
Dedication: (like this isn't long enough) This is dedicated to Sarah and Asha, both of which I seriously owe like twenty years worth of e-mail to, Dream Writer 4 Life, Agent Otter, Silver Charm, Kris, Sam, ShadowGoddess (who is also a kick ass writer in her own right) for reviewing "The Lightkeeper" and being all such very sweet people!  
  
  
  
"Daddy really doesn't want to go back to work," Michael confessed to his daughter as he fed her early Monday morning. Setting two bagels on the table, Sydney sat down across from him and smiled.  
  
"Don't you wish we were independently wealthy?" she teased.  
  
Looking up at Sydney, he met her eyes and let out a sad sigh. "How am I going to make it through the day?"  
  
"You like your job," she reminded him with a smile.  
  
"I love you and Jackie," he shot back.   
  
"We'll be here when you get home," she pointed out as Donovan lazily strolled into the room, sniffing his master's feet before getting a drink of water. "So will Donovan."  
  
"I don't know how you went back to work so soon Syd," he commented as he looked back down at his daughter.  
  
"It wasn't easy," she agreed, taking a sip of her orange juice. "Thank you," she said softly.  
  
"For what?" He glanced up at her, one eyebrow raised in confusion.  
  
"Allowing me to stay home with her."  
  
"You're her mother Syd, if you want to be with her then that's where you belong. Anyway, at least one parent should always be accessible to a child, especially in the first year," he recited. He laughed at her confused reaction before he added, "Charlotte told me that when she explained why she was taking a year long sabbatical from her practice when she was pregnant."  
  
"Is your sister our primary source of child-rearing advice?" she asked, her dimples flaring at her question.  
  
"Do you have a better source?" he smirked.  
  
"No," she conceded as both laughed.   
  
Growing serious, he set down the bottle and brought his daughter's chin to rest on his shoulder. Running his hand over her small back, he started to burp her and looked over at his breakfast companion. "My mother had a good point last night."  
  
"About what?"   
  
"We need someplace to live Syd," he sighed. "We certainly can't live at my place, and to be honest, I'd really like to raise Jackie someplace where she has a lawn to play in."  
  
"So we'll move," she shrugged. His face tilted and his brow wrinkled in confusion. "What?"  
  
"I didn't think you liked moving."  
  
"I don't. I don't think *anyone* likes moving," she pointed out. "You're right though, we can't continue to live here and Jackie does deserve a yard to play in."  
  
The phone rang before he could get in a reply. Standing, Sydney walked over to answer it as he continued to try and burp their stubborn daughter. "Hello?"   
  
"Hey Syd," Will greeted. Turning towards Mike, she mouthed that it was Will and he nodded in understanding.  
  
"What's up?" she asked, not wanting to mention anything in particular, just in case he had decided not to propose at the last minute.  
  
"Do you and Mike have any plans? Jennie and I were hoping to come over."   
  
"I don't think we have any plans. Tonight sounds great. What about Francie and Charlie?"  
  
"They'll probably come over too. We just figured it was easier, that way you don't have to travel with all of Jackie's stuff . . . But hey, if you've got plans or you're just -"  
  
"Will, it's fine," she insisted. "Come on by tonight. I'll make dinner too. We'll see you tonight okay?"  
  
"Thanks Syd," he replied before she hung up the phone.  
  
Hanging up, Sydney smiled at Jackie, who had finished burping and was following her mother with her eyes. That was, among a handful of other things, one of the new tricks that she had recently discovered how to perform. Waving across the room to her daughter, both parents were delighted when Jackie cooed; drool dribbling down her chin as she smiled.  
  
"You're one messy kid," Mike gently teased, grabbing a spit rag and gently wiping his daughter's chin. "You're one messy, cute little baby," he whispered, bending down and pressing kisses against his daughter's plush cheeks and tiny nose. "You are the cutest little girl ever, and I love you, yes I do, I love you so much," he promised her, taking her little hand over his pointer finger and kissing it.  
  
Realizing what time it was, Sydney sat down at the table and smiled at him. "When I started back at work I found out one really wonderful thing about my day," she confessed as he looked at her, his eyebrows up in confusion.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I got to come home to Jackie," she smiled.  
  
Sighing, he smiled and stood. "Daddy's got to go to work honey," he explained. Kissing his daughter's cheek, he handed her over to Sydney. "I love you," he whispered against her lips before kissing Sydney.   
  
"Love you," she smiled as he grabbed his suit jacket. She held Jackie close and watched him as he slipped his arms into his jacket. "Have a good day at work." She smiled and the two of them shared a laugh at how typical they sounded. Grabbing his keys off of the counter, he kissed her one more time and gently touched his daughter's baby-soft wisps of hair before walking out of the house.   
  
A handful of hours later he found himself sitting in his office, catching up on missed paperwork. Despite modern technology and computers, there was no way of avoiding the paperwork that faced him whenever he was out of the office for more than a two-day weekend. Eyeing his desk, he smiled at the lone picture on it: a newly placed photo of Sydney and Jackie smiling from the previous week that he'd spent with them. The photo was also one of the first smiles Jackie had ever consciously made, and it was a memory he wanted to remember forever.  
  
Eric stepped into the office without notice, shutting the door behind him. "So you're marrying Sydney?"  
  
Sitting back in his desk chair, Michael pinched the bridge of his nose before looking at his best friend. "How'd you find out?"  
  
"Please, this place should be called the Central Gossip Agency," he snorted. Picking up the new picture frame, a grunt of approval escaped him when he looked at the picture. "It's about time this showed up on your desk."  
  
"Don't you have work to do?" he asked as his best friend shrugged. "Who told you about Sydney and I?"  
  
"Daley," he replied, referring to another agent in their department.  
  
"How the hell did he find out?"  
  
"Got me," he shrugged. "It's great news Mike, I was just wondering if you ever planned on telling me yourself or whether I was supposed to find out the date and the location through the agency's gossip mill too."  
  
"No, but I just told my mother yesterday."  
  
"What did my dear and lovely Brigitte think of Ms. Bristow?"  
  
"Once my mother finished her tirade, she appeared to really like Sydney. She enjoys having a new granddaughter," he remembered as Eric smiled. "There's a Tupperware container of leftover chicken cordon bleu in the refrigerator for you at Syd's place. You can follow me after work and get it."  
  
"You're living with her already?"  
  
"What did you think I've been doing the last week? I haven't officially moved in, I just have a few things there, but we do plan on buying a house soon."  
  
"Very domestic," Eric noted.   
  
"Yes, thank you."  
  
"I actually came here for a reason," he remembered. Michael looked at him expectantly. "Jack's in Devlin's office and they want to talk to you."  
  
"You should have said something sooner," he reprimanded his friend, getting out of his seat and walking out of the room.  
  
Walking in, he was relieved that neither Jack nor Devlin looked particularly agitated with him. Instead, they silently waited for him to sit before Jack spoke. "What we are about to ask you is completely optional. But we did feel it was only... appropriate, to give you the opportunity."  
  
Michael felt his forehead crease in concern. "I'm sorry, am I under suspicion for something?"  
  
"No, nothing like that Agent Vaughn," Devlin assured him. "Actually we were hoping you might be interested in doing something for the agency."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We've discovered that there is a safe hidden somewhere in Sloane's office in the Credit Dauphine building. We believe that there are diskettes and documents in the safe that could aid us in prosecuting key members of the Alliance. There are, however, concerns that opening the safe would set off charges of C-4 that are located throughout the building," Jack explained.  
  
"I'm sorry, I don't understand. Why not deactivate the C-4 and open the safe?"  
  
"The problem, Agent Vaughn, is that we don't know where in the room the safe is located. In fact, no one other than Arvin Sloane knows, and so far he isn't talking," Devlin explained.  
  
"Who's been in with him?"  
  
"I have, as well as several other agents," Devlin explained. "We decided against sending Jack in to speak to him. So far no one is aware that Sydney and Jack were the SD-6 moles, and we'd like to insure that it stays that way."  
  
"You want me to speak to him?"   
  
"Given your... connection to SD-6, we thought you might be interested in speaking to him face to face."  
  
"I don't know why he'd speak to me if he won't speak to anyone else, but I'll try," he shrugged.   
  
Ten minutes later he was being led to the solitary cells. Thanking the guard, he stepped towards the viewing window. Arvin Sloane sat on a metal cot in a black jumpsuit, looking just as miserable as Michael had hoped he would. When he realized he had company, Sloane approached the window. The first thing that struck him was how small in stature Sloane was, and how outwardly harmless he appeared to be. His experience with Sydney and with the CIA however, had left him unable to forget Sloane's sins, including the great pain the man before him had caused his family.  
  
"Are you my attorney?"  
  
"No," he shook his head. "We believe that there is a safe in your office that if opened without deactivation, will set off charges of C-4."   
  
"What about Emily?"   
  
Michael looked at him. If he had sympathy for anyone, it was a tug of sympathy for Emily Sloane. For whatever reason, Emily loved the evil man before him with all of her heart. Somewhere in the back of his mind he supposed everyone deserved someone to love him or her like that, regardless of how they were to the rest of the world. "Do you know the location of this safe and how to deactivate the explosives?"  
  
"I want to see my wife."  
  
"Do you know the location of the safe and how to deactivate the explosives?"  
  
Cocking his head slightly, the aged man gave Michael a smile that sent shivers up his back. "I know who you are. You're Michael Vaughn. You're Jacqueline Bristow's father."  
  
Despite his training, he was unable to stop the shocked _expression that briefly flitted across his face, before he once again slipped on a mask of indifference. "I will ask you one more time sir, where is the location of this safe and how do we deactivate the explosives?"  
  
"No," he chuckled. "I don't tell anyone anything until I see my wife."  
  
Turning around Mike walked out started towards the observation area. Walking into the area, he wasn't surprised to see Eric, Jack and Devlin closely watching the screen displaying Sloane. Meeting Jack's gaze, he felt his jaw stiffen before he spoke, "How does he know who I am?"  
  
"Sydney must have blown her cover," Eric commented as Mike bit back a nasty remark.   
  
"I'll have security section review SD-6's security tapes to see if he made any calls for a hit on Sydney," Ben offered as he picked up a phone.   
  
Jack stepped towards the younger man and awkwardly placed a hand on his shoulder. "Regardless of what Arvin might have ordered, none of it is active anymore. The only resources he had left were what he had at SD-6, so there is no concern that another chapter of the Alliance is watching her." Jack reassured him, reading the clearly written worry lines that were drawn on Michael's face.  
  
"I don't want *anyone* saying *anything* to Sydney until we find out *exactly* what Sloane knows and when he found it out," Mike demanded as his future father-in-law nodded his agreement. "I want to be briefed the moment we hear *anything*," he continued, before turning around and walking away.  
  
"Where the hell is he going?" Ben asked.   
  
"He's going to call Sydney," Jack informed them before they began their work.  
  
In her warm, inviting apartment, Sydney sat singing to Jackie. Resting her daughter on her bent knees, she played with her daughter's tiny toes and sang 'This Little Piggy' as Jackie laughed in amusement. She wasn't entirely sure what her daughter found so funny, the fact that she was tickling the bottoms of her tiny feet, or her attempts to sing to her daughter, but either way she was laughing.  
  
The phone rang, breaking her song. Kissing her daughter's forehead, she reached over to grab the cordless phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Hey Syd," Michael's warm, soothing voice responded.  
  
"Hi, what's wrong?" she asked, easily picking up on the worried undercurrent in his voice.  
  
"Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to see how you and Jackie were doing."  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
"Everything's fine Syd, how's Jackie?"  
  
"She's fine." She made a silly face at her daughter and seconds later Mike was able to hear the baby's giggles in the background.  
  
"I miss you both."  
  
"We miss you too, but you'll be home in just a few hours," she reminded him. "Hey, don't forget that Will, Jennie, Charlie and Francie are coming over tonight."  
  
"I haven't. Eric's probably going to follow me home, so he can come in and get the leftovers my mom sent."  
  
"That's fine. He can meet Jackie then too," she pointed out.   
  
"I'm sure he'll love that," he chuckled.   
  
"Are you sure everything is okay at work?"  
  
"It's fine," he assured her. The last thing he wanted to do was alarm her. She deserved normalcy, a lifetime of lazy mornings around the house with Jackie and Donovan. More than that, however, he wanted to be the one to give her that normalcy, more than anything in the world.  
  
"We'll see you tonight."  
  
"Yes, you will," he agreed. "Syd?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do me a favor?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't do much today. Just... relax. Spend some time with Jackie. Charlotte and my mom have told me that ABC soap operas are the best, maybe give them a try," he playfully suggested as she laughed.  
  
"I'll do that. Love you."  
  
"I love you too," he spoke softly with a smile before hanging up.  
  
Later that afternoon Sydney sat in the living room with Jackie. The baby sat cuddled up in the bouncer and her mother sat on the floor in front of her. Bending down, she planted a light kiss her daughter's tiny feet, hoping to keep her awake until everyone got there to see her. "Stay with me here Jackie," she gently commanded as she met her daughter's eyes, already the same amazing shade of green as her father's. Brightly smiling at her daughter, she turned back towards the book in her hand, reading "Guess How Much I Love You" to the baby. In the middle of the book, her reading was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. "Who could that be?" she asked her daughter, tickling the soles of Jackie's tiny feet before she propelled herself off of the ground and to her feet.   
  
Opening the door she was surprised - and slightly relieved - to find her father there. "Dad."  
  
"Sydney," he nodded slightly and entered the house. "How are you?"  
  
"I'm fine, is everything okay?"  
  
"Of course," he assured her before bending down to meet his granddaughter's eyes. "Hello Jackie, hello sweetheart," he gently welcomed her, smiling as the baby held tightly to his finger.  
  
"Dad." Sydney carefully sat down on the floor next to him. "Are you sure everything's alright?"  
  
"Everything is fine Sydney, I just came by to see my daughter and granddaughter," he explained. Picking up the book she was just reading, he offered his daughter a slightly amused twitch of his otherwise blank face. "I'm glad to see you're enjoying your time off."  
  
"Jackie and I are having fun."  
  
"You both deserve this time together," he agreed.  
  
"Dad." She perched herself on the edge of the sofa cushion and looked at her father, who remained on the floor in front of the bouncer. "Yesterday Mike and I went to his mother's house for dinner," she carefully started, neatly folding her hands in front of her.  
  
"Yes?" Jack asked, uncertain of where his daughter was heading.  
  
Brushing hair behind her ear, she decided it would be best to skip over the understandably rocky beginnings she had had with the Vaughn family. "We told her that we were going to get married, and Brigitte - that's Mike's mother - invited us all back to dinner there this Sunday. Including you."  
  
Jack looked straight forward at his granddaughter for a still moment in time before he nodded slightly, "I see."  
  
"You obviously don't -"  
  
"Sydney, I will be there," he quickly assured her. Truth be known, Jack would rather infiltrate K-Directorate than have to sit through a traditional family dinner, but if it made his daughter and granddaughter happy, he'd suffer through anything.  
  
Meeting her father's eyes for the first time since his arrival, she smiled. "Thank you." Jack gave another stiff nod as she stood. "So are you hungry?" she offered, picking Jackie up and leading her father into the kitchen. 


	6. Trying Normal Chapter 6

Title: Trying Normal Chapter 6  
  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Story Summary: "Can I be normal?"   
  
He shrugged, "what does normal mean anyway? You can be happy though, and that's about as close to normal as anyone can hope for." (Sequel to "Coming to Terms")  
  
This Chapter: Will and Jennie share their news, Vaughn & Syd are movin' on up, Syd runs into Alice & we learn Sloane's fate  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own ANY of these characters; they belong to Bad Robot, ABC, and the brilliant J.J. Abrams. Nor do I own anything remotely recognizable.  
  
A/N: This includes the section that is also known as "About Alice . . ." - UConn girls are now 35-1 (the ONE damn loss to Villanova in the Big East Championship game - I can't complain, now they're 74-1 in their last 75 games, so I'll shut up now) and in the Final 4 (YAY!) and the guys are DONE! No more Mike Woodward sob or Tony Robertson sob - Tony might get into the NBA, but Mike was a benchwarmer SOB. He was SO CUTE! What else . . . Did you SEE what happened to my Derek! He got HURT! Ugh! Yankees are doing REALLY well though, so I'm happy, but watching Derek get hurt made me cringe (and I've had 10+ operations and have grown up with a nurse - very few things make me cringe). Poor Derek, but right now they're going to take a "conservative approach", so hopefully he'll be back sooner rather then later! Thanks to everyone still writing & reviewing, it means the world to me. I'm at a very hard point in my life, so talking to all of you and hearing your sweet words make me feel like my life isn't a total failure.   
  
Eric Weiss pulled his car behind Mike's in an unfamiliar driveway. Waiting until Mike was out of his car, he followed suit, noticing that a third recognizable sedan was parked in the driveway. "I see your future father-in-law is here," he muttered as they walked towards the front door. "Are you sure not telling Sydney is the right thing to do?" he whispered as his friend searched his pockets for house keys.  
  
"They told me they'd call both Jack and myself once they found what we were looking for from the security section tapes. Until then there's absolutely no reason to worry Sydney."  
  
"Are you sure you're the one who should be making that decision?" he asked before Mike shot him a sharp look. "Never mind."  
  
"I was her case handler for years, I'm going to be her husband in less than a month, I'm just trying to make her life easier."  
  
"Okay," Eric agreed, silently glad he wasn't the one Sydney would be yelling at when she found out the truth.  
  
"Hey," he called out as he entered the house. Several steps inside he smiled when he saw Sydney sitting with Jackie in her arms and Jack across from them.   
  
"Hey you." Sydney stood and smiled at him, walking over to greet him with a kiss. "Hey, how are you?" she asked Weiss as Jack stood up to join them.  
  
"I've been fine," he shrugged. "Jackie?" he asked, looking at the little girl half-asleep in her mother's arms.   
  
"Yes, this is Jackie," her mother proudly confirmed. Stepping closer, Eric laughed at the obvious resemblance that the child had to both parents.  
  
Glancing over his shoulder at his best friend he commented, "You realize she looks just like you, right?"  
  
"There's definitely a resemblance," Michael chuckled and nodded.   
  
"She's a beautiful baby," Eric complimented.   
  
"I should be going," Jack realized.  
  
Sydney was instantly disappointed as she cradled Jackie closer and looked at her father. "Dad, you don't -"  
  
"There's still work I need to attend to," he quickly dismissed her concern. Eric and Michael exchanged silent glances, both aware that Jack was going back to headquarters to find out more about Sloane's realization of Sydney's double agent status. "Perhaps I'll come by tomorrow," he suggested, in hopes of erasing Sydney's sad _expression.  
  
"That'd be nice," she smiled as her father leaned down to kiss his granddaughter's cheek.  
  
"You behave little girl," he whispered to Jackie. Returning to his proud posture, he glanced over at the younger agents. "Have a nice evening," he said to both men before he gave his daughter's shoulder a gentle squeeze and walked out of the house.  
  
"So," Eric asked as he plopped down on the coach, "what's for dinner?"  
  
"Eric," Michael warned as Sydney laughed.  
  
"You are more than welcomed to stay for dinner. We're having chicken. Will, Jennie, Francie and Charlie are coming over tonight too," she reminded her fiancé.  
  
"Those are your friends, right?" Eric asked, recognizing the names from Sydney's dossier.  
  
"Right. Francie and Charlie are married and Jennie and Will are hopefully engaged."  
  
"Too bad, guess I can't hook up with anyone," he muttered as Michael rolled his eyes.  
  
"How was my little girl today?" Michael asked, taking their daughter from Sydney and holding her close. "Syd I made a decision today," he announced as he followed her into the kitchen. By then, Eric had already made himself at home, having taken control of the television remote and channel surfing.  
  
"What decision is that?" She smiled, feeling his gaze on her as she walked around the kitchen preparing the meal.  
  
"Jackie can't date until she's forty."  
  
"Forty?" she laughed. "Do you really feel that's necessary?"  
  
"Absolutely!" he insisted. "Jackie is never going to find a man that's worthy of her."  
  
"As long as she's happy and healthy I'll be happy," Sydney declared. "So, how was work?" she asked pleasantly.  
  
"It was work," he sighed, not wanting to discuss it. Looking at him she immediately sensed something was being left unsaid.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Nothing Sydney," he dismissed with an edge in his voice. "It was just debriefs and paperwork, nothing of any relevance."  
  
"Oh," she said softly. "I found a couple of house listings that sounded appealing. I thought I could call and we could go look at them later this week."  
  
"That sounds great," he cheerfully agreed, walking up and kissing her. One arm held his daughter close while his free hand rested on her hip. "I love you," he reminded her as they broke apart.  
  
Sydney's friends arrived shortly before it was time to serve dinner. By then Eric was completely enamored with the drooling, crying baby that Vaughn and Sydney adored. Once they entered, Jenny and Francie took the baby from him, cooing and kissing and doting on her as any beloved aunts would. Vaughn took his daughter and put her to rest in the swing, setting the swing up in the dining room as Sydney and Francie carried dinner out.  
  
"This looks great," Eric noted.  
  
"This is probably the closest thing he's come to a home cooked meal since he was at my mother's house last," Vaughn explained.  
  
"Don't laugh," Eric stopped him.  
  
"This does look delicious Syd, you really outdid yourself," Will agreed as she shrugged.  
  
"It was nothing." She smiled as they passed around the trays, making their plates.  
  
They had low, small talk as they began to eat. Jackie, content from her own recent feeding, fell quickly asleep by the rhythm of the swing. As their dinner started to come to an end, Will reached over and took Jennie's hand. "Actually guys, we have something we want to tell you."  
  
"Yeah, what's that?" Francie smiled, a smile that indicated she already knew what was ahead. Sydney glanced quickly at Vaughn, who shook his head. This was Will and Jennie's night to announce their intentions, they'd announce their own plans soon enough.  
  
"Jennie and I . . . "  
  
"We're engaged!" she joyously finished, putting her hand out for them to see.  
  
"It's beautiful!" Sydney and Francie agreed.   
  
"Have you set a day yet? I can be your coordinator!" Francie insisted.  
  
"No date yet," Jennie explained as Will laughed.   
  
"Congratulations," Vaughn expressed sincerely as Eric agreed.  
  
"We probably won't get married until next summer, I want lots of time to prepare." Jennie smiled, "Plus I have a big case coming up at the firm and I want that finished before I start this."  
  
"We've got all the time in the world." Will said as he kissed her.  
  
"What about you two?" Francie looked at her former roommate and the father of her future goddaughter. "Shouldn't a walk down the aisle be somewhere in your future?"  
  
"Didn't you meet his family this weekend too? How'd that go?" Will added on.  
  
"Yes, I met the Vaughns," she agreed. "They're fabulous, warm people. Jackie will be completely loved and spoiled by her cousin and Aunt and Grandmother."  
  
"They loved Syd too," Vaughn added.   
  
"And the walk down the aisle?" Jennie asked. "I don't mean to hurt either of you, but it seems to me you're about a year and a half or so late in that walk."  
  
"Soon," Sydney nodded.  
  
"How soon?" Francie pressed on.  
  
"I'm not really sure that tonight -" she glanced over at Will and Jennie, both still basking in their news.  
  
"Don't be silly Syd, whatever you have to tell us, let us know! We won't be offended," Jennie promised.   
  
"We're planning on getting married June 19th at my mother's house," Vaughn admitted  
  
"Congratulations!" They all moved to hug them before they sat down to finish their meals.  
  
"That doesn't give us a lot of time, but we should be able to pull it off," Francie explained. "I have a friend who works in Palisades, she does calligraphy and stuff. She does the restaurant's menus. Anyway, we can go up there this weekend and get you invitations."  
  
"We don't plan on having a lot of guests. We've basically already invited everyone who's going to be there, are invitations really necessary?" Sydney asked.  
  
"Of course!" Francie exclaimed. "If anything, you want an invitation so one day Jackie can look at her parents' wedding invitation. Little sentimental stuff like that is great!"  
  
"Okay," she laughed. "We'll go this weekend then."  
  
Before Francie and Jennie could say anything, Jackie broke out into a colicky, smothered scream. "I'm sorry," Sydney spoke loudly as she put a hand up to stop Vaughn.   
  
"I think it's colic Syd." Her fiancé appeared at her side as she gently eased the baby from the swing.  
  
"Shh, hush sweetheart," she whispered, cuddling her baby close and swinging back and forth. "It's okay Jackie, it's going to be okay," she tried to calm the screaming infant.  
  
"Do you want me to take her?" Vaughn offered as she shook her head.  
  
"No, go eat, I'll just go take her back to the nursery."  
  
The evening was a shuffle of people taking turns with an irritable, screaming Jackie. Everything Sydney could think that might work - singing, feeding, changing, bathing, she even set up the humidifier - failed. Jennie tried every trick she could imagine and even checked to see if she was teething (thankfully, she wasn't). It wasn't until nearly two in the morning that she was silenced, and Sydney suspected it had more to do with her exhaustion from screaming than anything they actually did as her parents.  
  
"I'm so sorry she kept you up," Sydney whispered as she held their daughter and lay next to Vaughn in their bed.  
  
"It's fine," he smiled tiredly and kissed his daughter's pudgy cheek. "I'll just nap during my lunch breaks from now on," he suggested as she laughed. The phone rang, stopping their laughter as he picked it up. "Hello?"  
  
"Are you with my daughter?"  
  
"Why?" he asked as Sydney glanced at him in concern.  
  
"I don't want Sydney hearing this," Jack explained as Vaughn tossed the covers off.  
  
"What's wrong?" Sydney asked as he covered the mouthpiece.  
  
"It's nothing Syd, try to get to sleep, I'll be right back." He kissed her quickly before walking out of the room. "What'd you find out?"  
  
"Sloane ordered the hit out on both you and Sydney exactly eighty three minutes before the CIA raided SD-6. The hit man he ordered, a man by the name of Geno Collins, is dead so there is no threat to any of you. However, what still concerns me is we don't know how Sloane discovered you were Jackie's father."  
  
"Do you have any leads?" He sighed. Vaughn knew better than to ask the cause of Geno Collins death; he was better off being ignorant.  
  
"We're still looking into it," Jack informed him. "Take care of them."  
  
"I will," he agreed.  
  
"And Mr. Vaughn, do me a favor."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Don't get too comfortable."  
  
Vaughn sighed and hung up the phone. There was no winning over Jack Bristow, although he knew he'd never give up trying.  
  
"Is anything wrong?" Sydney appeared in the kitchen, still holding their daughter.  
  
"No," he stood and smiled. "Not at all. What are you doing out of bed?"  
  
"Now that she's asleep, I can't sleep, so I was hoping some warm milk would help me."  
  
"Warm milk?"  
  
"It used to work when I was a kid," she shrugged. "Do you want some?"  
  
"No," he shook his head and took their daughter. "We'll meet you back in bed."  
  
"I'll be right there," they kissed as he walked back to their bedroom with their sleeping daughter.   
  
The last Saturday of May, she went with Francie and Jennie to a print shop in Pasadena. Her two friends insisted that even though it was a small, private wedding, they had to have invitations. Sydney had initially protested, wondering why she needed invitations when they could just as easily invite the less than twenty guests by word of mouth. They insisted it was necessary; after all, didn't she want an invitation for her wedding album?  
  
Vaughn stayed at her house with Jackie, who was starting to flirt with a case of colic. Sydney was grateful to be out of the house and enjoying the time with her friends. Francie was friends with the owner of the print shop and she was certain they would be able to convince him to print up to a few dozen invitations without any problems. The three spent fifteen minutes looking over styles and wording until she found something that she felt was simple enough and they approached the counter.  
  
"Very nice choice," the clerk smiled. "Now, the bride and groom's names?"  
  
"Sydney Bristow. That's S-Y-D-N-E-Y B-R-I-S-T-O-W."  
  
"Your lucky groom?"   
  
"Michael Vaughn. V-A-U-G-H-N."  
  
"Excuse me?" a petite blonde asked, approaching Sydney. "Did you say Michael Vaughn?"  
  
"Yes. Do you know him?" she asked, suddenly wondering if she was in some bad romantic comedy.  
  
"I'm Alice Watson," she introduced. "Michael and I dated for several years... I suppose I haven't seen him in a year," she mused. "My goodness, I can't believe he's changed so much! I could never imagine him marrying," she laughed lightly.  
  
"Did you say about a year?" Sydney asked, her spy-training kicking in at that tiny tidbit.  
  
"Yes. About a year," she nodded. "Congratulations though, he's a wonderful man, you must be very lucky to be the one to have pulled him in."  
  
Sydney forced a laugh and nodded. "Thank you. It was very nice to meet you."  
  
"Yes, it was. Tell him I said hello."  
  
"Yes, I will." She smiled as Alice walked away.   
  
Although she insisted to her friends that she was fine, Sydney brewed over what Alice had said during hour-long drive home. It wasn't that they had dated for several years - she had already assumed that. No, it was that she hadn't seen him in a year. Logically, she knew that could mean something as simple as bumping into him at the grocery store a year ago, but that wasn't the impression the petite blonde had given her. Even meeting Alice had made her slightly insecure. She was still only eight weeks post-delivery and her body wasn't quite what it used to be. Her eyes were finally starting to return to their normal shade. Plus, if he had such an interest in petite blondes, what attracted him to her, when she was neither?  
  
An unfamiliar, miserable emotion rolled through her stomach as she parked her car in the driveway. For the first time in her life, she was jealous. Noah Hicks had been her first serious beau, and as much as he had hurt her when he left, when he had been with her he didn't seem to even notice other women. Danny had certainly had other girlfriends in the past, but they had been in England, and as a result she never met or even heard about them. This was the first encounter she had ever had with one of her beau's ex-girlfriends, and she had walked away with a terrible feeling in her stomach and a bad taste in her mouth.  
  
The truth was, if Vaughn (she wondered briefly why she slipped back to referring to him as that at that particular moment) and Alice had even been dating casually on and off as recently as a year ago - right around the time their daughter had been conceived - she would feel terrible. Worse off, if he had willingly begun a relationship with her (particularly since she was certain their daughter hadn't been conceived until months into their relationship and a long time after she realized she was in love with him, and had assumed he had fallen in love with her) while he still chose to see Alice, she wasn't particularly sure she could forgive him. That would mean he had lied to her. When she had depended on him to be her truth, to be the one constant in her life, he lied. At least she could plead ignorance. What was his excuse she wondered, temporary memory loss?  
  
He smiled at her when she walked into the house, getting up off the sofa to greet her. He always did that she realized; stand whenever she entered a room. One of the terribly polite mannerisms Brigitte had taught him over the years.   
  
"Hey Syd. I finally got Jackie to sleep. I think I found something we might want to -"  
  
She tossed her jacket and turned towards him. Later, she realized that she had already been poised to fight, having already passed judgment on Alice's innocent comment. "Vaughn, when did you break up with Alice?" she asked casually.  
  
Mike stepped back slightly, noticing that she was distant, her face a professional mask and, for the first time in nearly a month, she had called him Vaughn. "A couple of years ago, Syd," he said offhandedly. By the time he had ended things with her, he had been so busy with Sydney that there hadn't been a lot of time to mark the date on his calendar. "Is everything okay?"  
  
"I saw Alice today, at the print place in Palisades," she explained. He nodded, sensing that this was about to take a severe turn downwards. "She said that the last time she saw you was *about a year ago*."  
  
"That sounds about right," he shrugged. When he read the _expression on Sydney's face, he felt sick to his stomach. "Syd, you don't think -"  
  
"Were you sleeping with me and still dating Alice?" she asked. The words stumbled out of her mouth without much thought. She couldn't believe she was questioning the virtue of the most moral man she had known, but her brief encounter with his former flame had sent her reeling.  
  
"Sydney! Are you-"  
  
"Were you?!" she snapped. Where had he had the time, she wondered. After working with him for only a few months, she had realized that she was in love with him. As a result, she did everything she could to spend more time with him, even if they just shared long gazes full of want from across the warehouse.   
  
"No! Damn it Sydney, when would I have had the time?"  
  
"I don't know!" she snapped and shrugged. "It wasn't as though we planned on getting together and it's completely plausible that-" she started to rant, her voice still raised.  
  
"Syd! Listen to yourself!" he yelled. He turned his back to her and pinched his nose, forcing himself to remain calm. At that point at least one of them had to be logical, before they said something they regretted or woke Jackie; or, worse off, both. Turning around, he met her eyes, hoping to break through the icy barrier he saw there. "Sydney, I was with Alice for six years, I never even brought up marriage once, and whenever she did, I did *everything* to change the topic. I love you, I'm marrying *you*, why else would I do that unless-"  
  
"Because you knocked me up," she said, the tone of her voice sharp enough to break through diamonds.   
  
Vaughn chuckled in disbelief and had to stop himself before his eyes rolled. "Syd, you've lost your mind," he said quietly. He then turned back towards her, searching for some way to break through the apparent veil of insanity that had temporarily shrouded her.   
  
"We're you sleeping with me and seeing her? That would have been the perfect arrangement for you, wouldn't it?" she snorted in disgust as she began to pace. He continued to quietly watch, waiting for the calluses of insanity to break open and for her to come to her senses. "Is that all we were to you? Really, you could have slept with me in the afternoon and gone out with her for dinner and the movies the very same night! My God, were you seeing her when I was pregnant?!" she asked. When he looked at her, wondering if she was hearing herself, he innocently rolled his eyes. Except, it didn't break the tension as he had hoped it would, it seemed to send her over the edge. "You know what, maybe I don't know how to do this and we're just not ready," she decided, putting her coat back on and walking down the hall.  
  
"Syd? Syd, what are you doing?" he asked as he watched her walk towards the nursery. Her movements remained purposeful as she silently walked into the nursery, quickly preparing Jackie and putting her in the carrier. "Sydney, where are you going?" he asked as she breezed by him and started back down the hallway.  
  
"If you're not going to treat this like an adult -"  
  
"Sydney, you're jumping to conclusions-"  
  
"Am I?" she snapped, whipping around to look at him.  
  
"Yes, I saw Alice on and off for a few months, but we have a *history* together Syd, and it was -"  
  
"It was what, convenient? Normal? You *knew* what I could give you Vaughn, and I thought we had a real relationship, but apparently we just had a nice roll in the hay that resulted in our bastard daughter-"  
  
"Sydney!" he yelled. After a few seconds, he continued in gentler tone, "Syd, listen to yourself -"  
  
"I have listened to myself. You're the one who's talking and still not saying anything." She twirled around on her heel and walked out the door.  
  
Helplessly he stood there, watching as she snapped Jackie in and then drove like a bat out of hell into the darkening night. After waiting only a few seconds, he slipped on his shoes and jacket, wondering what had taken control of her mind. If she had just taken a few patient moments to listen, she would have heard that he and Alice had ended for good before they had ever even kissed, and that he had never betrayed her.  
  
For her part, Sydney slowed down once she was off the street and her home was no longer in sight. Taking a left towards the beach, she felt the tears start. Had she called her child a bastard? She shook her head in disgust as she checked on the sleeping angel in the rear view mirror. Regardless of Jacqueline's father and how angry she was at him, she didn't regret her daughter or who her father was. For so long he had been the only person to ever be honest with her... To imagine that he had been with Alice when any emotions existed between them, even before they were physically intimate, made her heart break and her stomach drop.   
  
Fifteen minutes after they'd left the house, she pulled into a Burger King. Taking only a brief interlude to get Jackie, she nearly ran into the bathroom, sicker to her stomach than she ever recalled being. Even on the worse days of her pregnancy, her stomach hadn't been as tumultuous. Then again, she thought as she sat down on the toilet looking at Jackie sleeping in her carrier on the dirty bathroom floor, her stomach had been sick but her heart had been just fine. This time nothing was fine.  
  
Had she been duped again? she thought in disgust as she wiped her face, taking a moment to change Jackie. Michael Vaughn had been the only person in her life who ever knew the real her and never lied to her.   
  
What had happened along the way that had caused her to lose her judgment?  
  
That answer's obvious, she thought as she picked up Jackie and held her tight. Somewhere along the way, she had fallen in love with him.  
  
Sydney had always wanted to be normal with him. In the end - that seemingly unattainable end - all she had wanted was to be normal with him. There had been nothing to indicate that he didn't want that with her. Had she been so incredibly desperate to believe it that she had manifested signs in her mind? She had never thought he would take the easy way out. Even when they weren't physically together, knowing that he could have been with Alice while he felt something for her, made her feel as though he had cheated on her.  
  
Taking a moment to adjust her hair, she forced herself to stop thinking. Time to compartmentalize, she noted as she grabbed Jackie's carrier. Hiding in a public bathroom sobbing and internally ranting certainly wasn't going to help any. On her way out she grabbed a newspaper from the stands and decided she would do something that could help.  
  
Twenty minutes were spent in her parked car at the pier, the car light on as she circled job openings. Sydney had had enough deception and was certainly not going to stay with someone who would lie to her, all the while knowing how desperately she depended on him, needed him. No more, she thought briskly, she would depend on no one. The first step to independence was finding a job. It was spring, teachers would be hired, retired and fired over the next few weeks, and she intended to be in the first category.  
  
With eight job openings circled, she tossed the folded newspaper down on the passenger's seat and started to drive again. Jackie was getting fussy and Sydney's aimless driving seemed to calm her. This should at least help one of us, she thought as she continued her drive. The city passed by her, lights, movement, and people. People who trusted those in their lives, and whose souls the only person they had ever allowed themselves to depend on, had not torn out.  
  
Years later she would not recall how she eventually ended up in the one place she swore she'd never see again.  
  
The warehouse.  
  
Sitting in the cold, damp warehouse, she breastfed Jackie and looked around the abandoned building. Was there a sign somewhere in the building to indicate when she had stopped seeing things objectively? Did she have a memory that could be triggered by being here? The worse part was that Vaughn's deception had not only stirred up questions about him, but also painful questions about his relationship with her.  
  
Was Jackie the sole reason they were together now? Had he just stumbled over a clumsy non-proposal because he was, by all accounts, an honorable man who had made a child with her? Was he really supposed to be with Alice, and she destined to be alone after losing Danny? Were they just thrown together for all eternity because of a second of passion and the wonders of genetics?   
  
For her, the worst question was the one she didn't allow herself to think until she had spent nearly two hours pacing the warehouse, bouncing Jackie in her step.  
  
Did he want to be with Alice?  
  
Did he want normalcy with her? Two children and a house with a fence and a dog running in the yard?   
  
Worse yet, if she hadn't become pregnant or the Alliance's end wasn't in sight, would he have had that with Alice?  
  
Would he have had it all while she was in his life?  
  
It was already two in the morning when he found her car at the warehouse, instantly flooding him with relief. He had spent the last few hours - a lifetime - looking for her. He had stopped at Jennie and Will's, Francie and Charlie's; he had even tracked down Jack Bristow's address to see if she was there. He went to the pier and found nothing; the Bluffs and the Palisades, the Observatory and the train station all resulted in the same. Finally, he went to the only other place that he could have imagined her going and feeling safe at two in the morning.  
  
The one place she had always been safe, the one place where he had always promised it - the warehouse.  
  
Sydney Bristow, the strong, beautiful, fragile woman he loved was slumped forward in the plastic chair, her face in her hands as their daughter slept in her carrier. Seeing them both safe made his heart start beating again. She had never run before, she had always faced problems head on and with his help. This was their first fight; the first time he had ever seen her flee. She was walking the line of defeat, and this was one battle he was not going to let her lose.  
  
She didn't have to bother looking up to know it was him. Who else would go to a warehouse on the bad side of town at two in the morning? Only them, she thought. Only two dysfunctional, misguided, and confused individuals. This was certainly not normal, she thought, before her mind bitterly added that it was certainly not something he would have to worry about with Alice.  
  
"Did you sleep with her when you were sleeping with me?" she asked softly, her chin resting on her hands and her eyes downcast.  
  
He didn't skip a beat or even approach her when he answered, "No."  
  
"When you broke up with her, around the first Thanksgiving we were working together, did you see her again after that? Did you date her after that?"  
  
"Syd..." He sighed as her eyes met his, stony cold.   
  
"Did you?" she challenged.  
  
When he let out a sigh, his shoulders sagged. "It wasn't the ideal situation Syd -"  
  
"It couldn't have been that bad," she replied flippantly. Following a few moments to regain her composure, she was calm as she continued to talk, "Did you see her while you had feelings for me?"  
  
"We met up a few months after we broke up. . . We decided to give it another try. . . If things had been different Syd -"  
  
"What? You would have been with me instead of fucking her?"  
  
"Damn it Sydney! Is it wrong that I wanted something normal?"  
  
"And I didn't?" By then they were yelling and screaming and Jackie's whimpers started to join in her parents' cries.   
  
"No, you didn't. Not yet. You still got your adrenaline rush from kicking down the bad guy. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't attracted and in love with you, but you were too busy saving the world to let me know -"  
  
"I was trying to make the world some place where we *could* be together, but you were too busy with *Alice* to realize it!" she snapped.   
  
"What about you Syd? What about Noah Hicks?"  
  
"That was one stupid night! One stupid night and damn it, you know how guilty I felt after that!"  
  
"How'd you feel about me then?"  
  
"Did you want to be normal with her?" Sydney's question was nearly inaudible as she blinked away tears.  
  
"What?" He was now fully confused at the abrupt shift in the questioning.   
  
Her unwavering eyes met his, the clear tears bubbling up in front of her brown orbs. "Did you - no, *do you* want to be normal with her? Do you want her to have your children and help you name your dog and buy your minivan?" she asked softly. "Just say the word," she shrugged. "You can see Jackie, but I won't *force* you to put up with me," she finished, her tone so icy he swore he felt frostbite on his skin.  
  
"Do you know when I realized I was in love with you?" he challenged. Her arms crossed over her chest and he instantly recognized her attempts to protect herself.  
  
"No, Vaughn, when did you know?"   
  
"When you walked into CIA that first time, with your red hair and your mouth was bleeding. You had just seen the darkest parts of the world for the first time, and while you had just had the shit kicked out of you, you hadn't let them take your soul. Do you remember what I said in my office?"  
  
She sighed and uncrossed her arms, instead resting her hands on her hips. "First you turned the picture of Alice away so I couldn't see it," she recalled clearly as he sighed and wondered why she was being so difficult. "Then you said something about having an instinct about me."  
  
"That's the understatement of the millennium," he muttered. "Damn it Sydney, I had known you less than a year and I risked my life and my job by breaking into SD-6 when you were taken hostage by Cole. I broke into the *Vatican* with you. I basically tossed every honored written - and unwritten - CIA rule of protocol out the window when I met you. I've been suspended and within inches of losing my life and my job. Alice and I broke up both times because I kept running out in the middle of night or at the oddest hours to see *you*. She got frustrated because even when I was with her, most of the time my mind was worrying about *you*. So in the course of our first year together, before I even laid a romantic hand on your body, I found out that your mother killed my father, proceeded to lose my girlfriend and nearly my job and my life to protect you," he reminded her. "You know what though?" he asked, shrugging slightly  
  
"What?" she asked softly, feeling guilty for putting such weight on his ex-girlfriend's simple comment. The past didn't matter; what he had with Alice didn't matter. As much as it hurt her to realize it, what she shared with Danny was no longer of any consequence. Michael Vaughn was moral, her rock, and the faithful keeper of all her truth. He was the first person in her life that knew everything about her, good and bad, and yet he didn't abandon her or try to force her in to anything. What mattered was what they shared, what they had always shared - even when he was with Alice and she was mourning Danny. Anything in the past paled to all the storms they had been through together and victoriously survived.  
  
"If it meant that at the end I'd get to be here with you and Jackie, have normalcy with you both, I'd do it all again," he whispered.  
  
Sydney looked down at the ground and felt herself losing the battle with her tears. Since she was breastfeeding, she was still hormonal eight weeks after Jackie's birth.   
  
"Syd? Are you okay?" he asked softly, stepping closer and placing a hand on her arm.   
  
She felt even worse now. She had just yelled at him, questioning something that people - particularly government agents - held close: their honor. Regardless of how much she had just hurt him, he was worried about her. There was no doubt in her mind that he was one of the sweetest men she had ever known.  
  
"I'm an idiot and we're having our first fight," she confessed tearfully as he laughed. His thumbs reached out to wipe away the tears that fell.  
  
"Syd, we've fought before, a lot. Remember? A bloodmobile where you basically told me I knew nothing and you were the boss?"   
  
"I still am," she sniffled as he smiled and nodded. "This is our first non-work fight."  
  
"You're not an idiot and yes, it's our first fight, but it's okay," he reassured her, taking the incentive to wrap his arms around her and pull her closer. "I'm sorry Alice upset you so much," he whispered, kissing her temple. "This has not been an easy time for you, but it's over now. It might never be perfect, but we're together and I promise that I'm not going anywhere. I've screwed up before Syd, I can't say I haven't, but I'm here now. Things are the way they are now, not the way they were then. This is the way I wanted things, the way I've always wanted them - even when I was with Alice. I'm not going anywhere."   
  
"I'm sorry about that whole 'knocked up' comment from before," she muttered against his shoulder.  
  
"It's okay," he whispered, holding her close. "I'd marry you either way."   
  
"I know," she nodded. "I told you I wasn't sure how to be in a relationship."  
  
"You're doing fine Syd," he reassured her. Pulling away, he cradled her face in his hands. Their daughter, to her credit, had calmed herself down, having sensed her parents' aggravation slowly peeling away. "Let's go home, okay?"  
  
She let out a shaky breath and nodded. Closing her eyes, she rested her head against his shoulder and nodded again.   
  
"I didn't stop loving you when I was with her."  
  
"I know," she whispered with a shaky breath.  
  
"I fucked up Syd, I'm sorry," he confessed, running his fingers through her hair. "What she and I had has nothing to do with you and I, it takes nothing away from what I feel for you."   
  
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she nodded again. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too." He wrapped his arm around her and grabbed the carrier as they turned to leave.  
  
Being in love didn't make everything better. Vaughn realized that he should have known seeing Alice, when he and Sydney felt so blatantly obvious for one another, would one day come back to hurt her and haunt him. She loved him though, and that made her far more likely to forgive his acts. He loved her, making him far more determined to keep the one thing that mattered to him, and that was what he held in his arms as he walked out of the warehouse during the earliest hours of a cold May morning.  
  
  
  
Despite his long weekend, and his first knock 'em out fight with Syd, there was no reprieve for Vaughn when he walked back into work Monday morning. His wedding was in less than a month, and he was cutting out of work early that day to go look at a house that Sydney was already in love with. Saying no to her was never his strongpoint, and he was certain that if she loved it, they would inevitably put a bid on it.  
  
"Where have you been?" Eric asked, trailing him into his office.  
  
"Nice to see you too." He took a sip of his coffee and opened his briefcase.  
  
"You might want to avoid your future father-in-law. He's blaming everybody who stands still long enough for the fact that we still haven't figured out how Sloane knows."  
  
"As long as Sloane's in jail and the Alliance is in shambles, does it really matter?" he pointed out. "Jack said himself that the hit man Sloane sent out is dead."  
  
"Just a word to the wise."  
  
"Thanks." He smiled and sat down. "Don't forget I'm getting out of here early today, Syd and I are going to look at a house in Pacific Palisades."  
  
"You're getting more and more domestic each day," he teased as Vaughn rolled his eyes, watching his best friend walk out the door.  
  
In the afternoon, Vaughn met Sydney back at her house before they drove to meet the agent in Pacific Palisades. From the moment he pulled the Jeep into the driveway, he could understand how she'd fallen in love with it. The blue, single story, cape cod had rose bushes under the windows, flowers lining the walkway and a cute patio. There were three bedrooms, an office for him and a library for her, along with views of all types - ocean, mountain, and valley - in every direction. The price was more than Sydney had bargained for, but he put a bid in anyway. With his savings, it wasn't all that flamboyant, and between the two of them they'd be able to make the mortgage payment. Plus, the house was empty, and had been on the market for months, so he was certain the agent and owners were in a hurry to rid themselves of it. All they had to do was wait for their bid to be accepted and their mortgage to pass.  
  
The phone call came in to him from their real estate agent on Friday afternoon. In the back of his mind he wondered if Jack Bristow had anything to do with their mortgage being approved in record time - what *doesn't* the man have power over, he wondered - but he didn't care. They could move in as soon as they wanted. The first call he put in was to an ecstatic Sydney, before he swung by a deli to pick up sandwiches and met her at the house in Pacific Palisades.  
  
"How is it that things can come together so quickly?" she asked. The sun was starting to set over the city as they sat on the patio of their future home. Jackie rested in her car seat, sleeping in front of them as they finished their food.  
  
"It's amazing," he agreed. "How's she sleeping?"  
  
"Better," she smiled. "She's totally zonked now. She's getting so big, I can't believe it."  
  
"She looks more like you every day."  
  
"I don't think so," she smiled. "I think she looks more like you," she explained. "Hey, did I ever tell you that your mom, sister and Eric all responded to the invitations?"  
  
"We already knew they were coming." He smiled and shook his head. "Francie said you were going dress shopping this weekend."  
  
"I am," she agreed. "Sorry, but you can't come."  
  
"I didn't think I was invited." He squeezed her hand and asked, "So do you like this place Syd?"  
  
"I love it." She rested her head against his arm and sighed. "It's beautiful."  
  
"You're beautiful," he whispered, going to capture her lips when his cell phone rang.  
  
"The government never sleeps," she muttered as he stood up and walked into the house to take the call. "Your Daddy loves his job, he keeps people safe." She adjusted the blanket around her sleeping daughter as she explained, "I couldn't do it anymore though baby." She picked up her half-awake daughter and cuddled her close. "When you grow up I want you to do something that fulfills you, that makes you happy... Maybe you'll be lucky and find the person you love in your work, like I did," she explained into her daughter's big green eyes. "I might be a horrible mother, but I hope that you never want to do what your Daddy and Grandpa do. What I used to do... It's so dangerous sweetheart, it's so unsteady and unpredictable, and now... I want you to be safe and happy and protected," she sighed. "I can't keep you that way forever, although I wish I could." She kissed her as Vaughn stepped back onto the porch, a grave look on his face. "What?"  
  
Silently he sat down on the swing and rested his elbows on his knees, still staring at his cell phone.   
  
"Vaughn, what it is? You're scaring me."  
  
He put his phone away and knew he had to start at the beginning. "The day I returned to work, I was called into Devlin's office," he started out, unable to look at her as he spoke. "Your father was there. Jack and Devlin explained that Sloane wasn't talking. There was - there *is* - a safe hidden somewhere in his office, but there were concerns that even if we discovered the safe we would set off charges of C-4 in the building. So, I went to talk to him. He insisted he wouldn't talk to anyone, not unless he could see Emily. As I was walking out of there, he stopped me and told me that he knew I was Jackie's father," he explained as she gasped.  
  
"You knew this and didn't tell me?" she snapped and rose to her feet.  
  
"Syd -"  
  
"You've known this and didn't bother to mention it to me? For all we know there could be hits out on both of us -"  
  
"There were," he stopped her. "There were Syd, there were hits on both you and I, but the man is dead. The hit man is dead, we're safe Syd, I promise."  
  
"How could you not tell me? How could you keep secrets from me? We have a daughter together! Damn it, you know how I feel about secrecy -"  
  
"I was trying to protect you Syd."   
  
"That's not your job."   
  
"Yes, Syd, it *is*," he stopped. "Damn it, we're going to be married! If my job isn't to protect you, what is it?"  
  
"What about being *partners*?" she shot back. "I can take care of myself, you need to tell me these things! You can't keep secrets from me, this won't work if you do that. You need to tell me the truth -"  
  
"Sit down and let me finish," he requested. She met his eyes and sighed before she sagged back down to the swing. Seconds later he did the same thing. "We still don't know how he found out, or when. We do know the hit was ordered eighty three minutes before we raided SD-6," he explained, this time meeting her eyes. "We're safe though Syd, I promise you we're safe."  
  
"Is that what the phone call was about?"  
  
"No," he shook his head. "It was about Sloane. The guard was called away for a few minutes from watching him, and something happened to the security cameras. . . They're still not sure what," he sighed. "When he got back to the cell, Sloane had hung himself."  
  
"What?" She swallowed.  
  
"He's dead Syd -"  
  
"That bastard!" She jumped to her feet. "He always has to have the last laugh, doesn't he?"  
  
"Syd, the important thing is that he's gone, he can't make you miserable anymore -"  
  
"Emily," she realized and sat back down. "What about Emily?"  
  
"I don't know," he shrugged.   
  
"He's gone..." She rested against him as he pulled her close. "Is it really all over now?"  
  
"I hope so." He held her tighter. "This has to be the end Syd, he's gone, and he can't hurt you ever again. Not you or me or Jackie. He's gone."  
  
"How can it be over? How can he end it like this? The bastard doesn't have the right -"  
  
"He doesn't," he agreed. "He doesn't have the right Syd, but it's over now. You can't let him win with your anger. He can't do anything ever again. You're stronger than he is, and you've survived this Syd. Everything he's done to you, you've survived it and you're better because of it."  
  
"How did he find out? We were so careful!"  
  
"We'll find out Syd, we won't stop working until we do. It's all over now though, you're safe. Nothing from SD-6 can hurt you now."  
  
"I have my life back."  
  
"Yes," he smiled, "you do." 


	7. Trying Normal Chapter 7

Title: Trying Normal Chapter 7  
  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Story Summary: "Can I be normal?"   
  
He shrugged, "what does normal mean anyway? You can be happy though, and that's about as close to normal as anyone can hope for." (Sequel to "Coming to Terms")  
  
This Chapter: The wedding & newlywed life  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own ANY of these characters; they belong to Bad Robot, ABC, and the brilliant J.J. Abrams. Nor do I own anything remotely recognizable.  
  
A/N: There is no Jack/Brigitte meeting - frankly I forgot about writing it, so I'm considering going back & writing it as a seperate piece (i.e. "About Alice . . ." accept this one will not be put into TN). My girls WON the National Championship! Woohoo! UConn did what only TN has done and gone two straight years! I feel bad for Kara Lawson, BUT I'm happy happy happy we won!! Let's see . . . Jake Voskuhl's getting a contract extension, so yay! Oh, in here I mention Sloane starting another organization but that it didn't materlize. That's all your going to hear about it in this story. Sloane's "Other organization" is going to pop up (maybe?) in a different story, set twenty something years from now centering around Jackie. I'm not sure I'm ever going to post the Jackie story, but if there's interest I won't post it until after I'm done with TN. Maybe 4-5 more chapters of this; it's going to go quicker from now on. By the end of the next chapter (I'm not sure) there might be a new baby on the way :)   
  
Please Review. Oh, and I'm working on "The Lightkeeper". Has anyone seen "Havana" with Lena Olin? She's so beautiful in it! I mean I sit and drool openly over Michael Vartan, but I have no shame in saying that Lena Olin is beautiful and definitely was in Havana. Okay, anyway, I just wanted to mention that - it's a long movie but she's fantastic in it. That's all.  
  
Sorry this is so short.   
  
Sydney wore an off-white linen column dress and matching cardigan when her father walked her down the makeshift aisle. There was no denying her beauty that day, with her hair curled along the bottom, with a light dusting of make up to accompany the slight glow she still carried from her pregnancy. The dress was simple for the ceremony held on Brigitte's terrace on a breezy Friday in June. Francie stood up as Sydney's attendant, with Eric serving as her counterpart. Maya was the oh-so-careful flower girl, resembling an angel preceding her on her journey to meet her groom. After placing her hand carefully in Michael's, Jack kissed her cheek and sat down. His young namesake was already sitting on her Grandma Brigitte's lap, half asleep by the beginning of the festivities. Donovan and Brigitte's tiny Bison Phoebe, both curled up at the back of the terrace, sound asleep, shared her lack of interest.  
  
Michael's uncle proudly performed the ceremony; the elderly priest had long ago given up any hope that his nephew would marry at all, never mind to another Catholic. Perhaps the ceremony was a year and a half later than he would have liked it, but he was glad that his nephew was entering a marriage that he truly wanted, as opposed to being forced into it. There was no doubt in his mind, after decades of performing weddings, that his nephew was deeply in love and devoted to the woman he was taking as his wife.  
  
Charlotte stood up and smiled at her cue. Her brother and future sister-in-law had asked her to perform the first reading; the honor had been unexpected and it was one she appreciated. "This is Helen MacInnes, from 'Friends and Lovers'. 'Every day I am away from you, I keep imagining you as I last saw you. I keep remembering how wonderful, how truly wonderful, you are. Then I meet you again, and you look the way you do, and you speak, and your eyes light up for me; and I realize that when I was thinking of you, wanting you, I never had imagined how wonderful you really are. You are better than any dreams of you.'"  
  
Green met brown as their hands remained joined and they smiled joyously at one another. Will had been put in charge of the second reading; with Francie as her only attendant and Eric Weiss stepping in as best man, it was the only role that they could find for him on such short notice. That was fine with Will; he handled words better than any role as best man.  
  
"An excerpt from George Eliot's 'Adam Bede'," he cleared his throat, suddenly anxious at the pairs of eyes that were on him. "'What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life, to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?'"   
  
The smiles on the faces of the bride and groom softened to ones of understanding. In that moment in time, neither believed a pair of people could understand the meaning of Eliot's words more deeply than they did. The priest said a few words before they prepared to say their vows. Given the nature of their relationship, and the personification of their wedding, they had decided to write their own vows. Nothing they could find summed up the significance of that day for them. Still holding her right hand, his eyes met hers and he spoke the vows he had so carefully memorized.  
  
"From the day we met I've been your ally, and I'll always be your ally, friend and husband until the day I die. You came into my life, and from that first day, I knew I could never again live a life without you in it. You twisted me and changed me and I love you all the more for it. There's no pretense here Syd, you know everything I can and can't offer you, but everything I have and can offer you is yours. No matter what else comes our way, you'll never have to face it alone. I'll continue to listen, respect, cherish, love and take care of you for the rest of our lives."  
  
Sydney smiled at him, glad that the tears hadn't fallen down her cheeks yet. She cleared her throat and spoke the words she had so carefully prepared. This was a vow she intended to take only once in her life, and she was determined to make it perfect.   
  
"You came into my life and brought with you the last thing I was looking for. For that and for so many other reasons, I will always love you. Not only because of what you bring into my life, but for how you make me feel about who I am, and what I do. For so long the only thing I dreamed of was the day that I'd get to be with you, and now I promise to love you and support you and everything you believe in. I'll trust and respect you. I'll do everything I can to not let a day go by without letting you know how blessed I am to have you in my life and to be able to love you. I promise to turn to you before all others, to put you first in my life. To love you, respect you, and to watch the Kings -"  
  
"And the Mets," he softly added, bringing a moment of levity despite the tears welling in his eyes.   
  
"And the Mets," she laughed and agreed before her eyes softened. "Until the day I die."  
  
Michael silently accepted the gold band that Eric discreetly slipped into his palm. With his other hand he reached for Sydney's left hand, his eyes never leaving hers. "I give you this ring as a symbol of my constant faith and abiding love. With it I wed you, and give you my body, soul and heart," he vowed as he slipped the ring easily over her finger.   
  
Unshed tears sparkled in her eyes as she took the matching band from Francie and took his hand. "I give you this ring as a symbol of my constant faith and abiding love. With it I wed you, and give you my body, soul and heart," she promised, aware that he'd held all three for far longer than even he realized.  
  
Charles spoke the concluding rites, blessing them and the community. Francie had arranged for the guests to blow bubbles as they departed from the Vaughn estate. The only problem with that was that Eric and Michael had to strain to keep from laughing at the sight of Jack Bristow holding an infant and blowing bubbles.   
  
The wedding reception that followed was the simplest in any of the guests' memories. There was a radio for music, a couple of Francie's kitchen staff on duty, and a white sheet cake that Francie had insisted on picking up. The bar was open and people mingled casually before dinner was served. Sydney and Michael sat with their small bridal party at the table at the very front of the restaurant. As she nibbled at her meal, she studied her father and Brigitte. Considering they'd met only a short time ago, they got along amazingly well and both shared an obvious adoration towards Jackie.  
  
"Syd," Michael leaned over to whisper into her ear, grabbing her attention. "Look at Amy and Eric," he suggested. When she looked over, she was surprised to see Amy and Eric obviously flirting. They were laughing; Eric's face was a shade redder than it normally was and they were lightly slapping one another.  
  
"Now that's a pair I never would have imagined," she confessed as he laughed.  
  
"He's been telling me I'm the one who's going domestic, maybe he should look in the mirror," he chuckled as she rolled her eyes.  
  
"She's not that much younger than he is. It might just be harmless flirting," she suggested.  
  
"There's no such thing as harmless flirting Syd," he pointed out. "So if they end up together do we get some sort of reward?"  
  
"For what?" she laughed. "It's not as if we set them up, we just happened to invite both of them to our wedding."  
  
"Does she like dogs?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Does Amy like dogs? Because Alan is ultra sensitive."  
  
"Alan? His dog?" Sydney couldn't contain her laughter when he nodded. "I know Eric is your best friend, but he's just a little bit insane."  
  
"We work for the government Syd, insanity is a prerequisite." He grinned as he captured her lips. He stood and looked down at her. "Dance with me."   
  
Silently, she smiled and placed her hand in his, allowing him to whisk her to the dance floor. The radio played "Unchained Melody" as they danced to what they would both realize was their first dance as husband and wife. Later, Michael took his daughter from his mother's arms, swaying his little girl back and forth as he watched Sydney and Jack's Father/Daughter dance to the familiar notes of "My Girl". Eventually his new wife all but pushed him onto the dance floor with his mother to share a dance to the notes of Elton John's "Blessed".   
  
As the evening progressed they took pictures, lots and lots of pictures. In the years to follow, Francie would complain that there were just *so* many of them that it was impossible to get a good group shot. Mike would be looking in the wrong direction, or Jack's eyes would be briefly fluttered shut. At such a young age it was impossible to get Jackie to stay quiet or certainly smiling for so long, making it even more challenging to get a good photo. There were single shots - shots of Mike looking bored or not looking at the camera at all, instead, looking down as his daughter slept soundly in his arms. Not surprisingly, his face showed no signs of concern that she was drooling over his newest suit jacket. Pictures that surprised Sydney most when developed were of Will and Mike laughing, acting as though they were best friends - which in time they would prove to be. The only thing to develop that was more of a shock to her, was the serious relationship that Eric and Amy started shortly after the wedding.   
  
At the end of the evening Jackie returned home with her parents to their new home, despite Brigitte's and Jack's protests. No matter how much she enjoyed being alone with her new husband, their first night as an official family wouldn't have been complete without her baby girl. Michael rested his daughter in the crib as his new wife changed into something more comfortable. He was so enraptured with watching the tiny little face that he was surprised when he felt Sydney walk back in and rest against his arm.  
  
"Did you check your band?"  
  
"Excuse me?"   
  
"Inside your band, did you check?"  
  
"You put something there?" He smiled as she nodded. "I did the same for you."  
  
"Really?" A smile bloomed on her face as they each went to take off their bands.   
  
"'My Guardian Angel'," he read aloud as she nodded. "You remember that?"  
  
"It wasn't that long ago," she teased before she was sober. "Of course I remember. It wasn't as though our conversations were that numerous, I remember every important thing we've ever said to one another."  
  
Quickly he kissed her. "Read yours."  
  
Twisting her rings off of her finger, she turned over the wedding band and studied it closely. "'In Heaven, too, you'll have my hand and heart'." She looked up at him, blinking away the tears as they kissed again.   
  
"We have a baby monitor," he whispered against her lips. "We'll hear her if she needs us," he assured her, taking her hand and leading her into the bedroom.  
  
Michael used nearly all of what remained of his paid time off, spending the next week in his new home with his family. In the mornings he'd sit on the front porch, Jackie sleeping on his chest as Sydney eagerly plucked away at her new garden. The two of them would work together on the Los Angeles Times crossword puzzle. Their competitive nature had each of them write in different colored ink to see who could get the most. Together they'd walk the beach, holding hands or go jogging together. In the afternoons the young family would fall asleep together before they'd take turns making dinner for each other.  
  
As the weeks progressed, it became a constant that where you found Donovan you'd inevitably find Jackie. The dog would eagerly kiss her face, showing more energy around the baby than he had in his entire life. When they'd prepare to leave for Saturday morning story time, he'd cry, recognizing the signs of their departure, but his tail would eagerly wag when they walked back in the door.  
  
Jacqueline Michele Vaughn was baptized on the last Sunday in June. The ceremony took place in the church where Sydney had been raised and where Charles had friends. The aged priest performed the ceremony over his young grandniece, with Francie and Will in the honored roles as godparents. Michael held his colicky daughter in his arms, softly cooing to her as she was blessed and welcomed into the Catholic Church. Afterwards, everyone was invited to a party at Brigitte's house, including cake and more picture taking. Judging by the photos in Brigitte's house, Sydney estimated that she was very skilled with a camera and always had one on hand.   
  
Shortly after Independence Day Brigitte left to spend a week with her sister Trish in France. In her departure, Sydney and Michael agreed to take young Phoebe, the hyperactive white Bison. Since Phoebe cried nonstop when left alone, even briefly, the arrangement worked out perfectly, particularly since Michael suspected that Donovan had the hots for the white dog. Having another dog around was no extra trouble, particularly when Jackie seemed to like the young dog too. Phoebe was two years old that month, with the energy level of a puppy.  
  
In the wake of their wedding, the newlyweds had kept busy. Their friends were over a few times a week, and more often than not, Eric and Amy were with the previously established couples, holding hands and smiling at each other. Even at work it was obvious that he was happier in his home life; he was spending less of his time trying to get an invitation to dinner at Brigitte's. Aside from that, Sydney was helping with the beginning stages of planning Will's wedding to Jennie. They had decided to be married in early February, ten days before Valentine's Day. Even though they hadn't been friends long, Francie and Sydney had already been chosen as her bridesmaids, an unexpected honor.  
  
Even with the windows open, it was a warm day in the middle of July at the Vaughn home. Jackie was soundly sleeping in her room, a miraculous feat due to Donovan and Phoebe's incessant barking. That weekend they planned on having everyone over for dinner, an idea that frightened and excited Sydney to no end. In her preparations of her home, vacuuming all the rooms was a necessary step. One thing Brigitte had failed to mention was that Phoebe shared Donovan's need to bark whenever someone vacuumed.   
  
"Shh," Sydney murmured under her breath, attempting to vacuum the living room as the dogs continued to make a ruckus. Lunch had already come and gone; she expected Michael home within a few hours and she desperately needed and wanted to shower before he came home. Still, Jackie was scheduled to wake up shortly and she knew it wasn't likely that all her vacuuming would be done. Before she could even consider that things could get worse, the doorbell rang. "I'm coming," she called. The barking silenced instantly when she kicked off the vacuum. With the dishtowel she had slung over her shoulder, she wiped her dusty hands and opened the door. Briefly, her jaw hung open when she saw Emily Sloane.  
  
"Hi Sydney, I hope this isn't a bad time," she spoke cautiously with a warm smile.  
  
"Emily... No, of course not, come in," she said as she stepped out of the way.  
  
"You have a very lovely home," she complimented. "Congratulations on your nuptials, I'm very happy for you."  
  
"Thank you." She smiled and pulled her hair back into a makeshift ponytail. "How... How are you?"  
  
"Arvin's been gone for a few weeks... It's not getting easier, but I'm learning to cope," she smiled. In a softer tone she added, "I know you have some experience with that."  
  
"Would you like to see Jackie?" she offered awkwardly.  
  
"That would be lovely," she agreed as Sydney turned to leave. "Sydney?" The younger woman paused to look at her. "Please forgive me for not coming sooner, and I hope this isn't a bad time -"  
  
"No," she smiled and shook her head. Arvin Sloane's sins were not those of his wife, just as her mother's sins did not run over onto her own hands. "I'm glad you're here. Please make yourself at home," she gestured.   
  
When Sydney returned to the living room, Emily stood studying the numerous portraits that hung over the television, including the recent one of Jackie, Michael and Sydney on Brigitte's terrace after the wedding. "He's a good man Sydney, your husband, isn't he?"  
  
"Michael's amazing," she agreed, handing the infant over to Emily. "I'm so sorry, about everything. And I'm sorry that he's gone," she sincerely spoke. As relieved as she was that Arvin Sloane was gone, she was sorry not only for the justice that would never be imposed upon him, but for the anguish it pushed upon Emily's otherwise innocent soul. You could not judge her by the man she had fallen in love with; that was one silent lesson her own parents had unwillingly taught her.  
  
"She's so big," she said in soft awe. In fact, Jackie was nearly three months old, smiling and laughing at every silly thing in her existence. To her parents' relief, she was also sleeping more at night, and most of Sydney's post-labor pains had disappeared. Instead, she was unable to remember what a life without Jackie was like, and despite the exhaustion and worry, she was in no hurry to return to such an existence. "You are very lucky to have such a beautiful baby," she wistfully spoke.  
  
"I thought you never wanted children." Sydney was instantly confused. Emily's eyes turned glassy as she shook her head.  
  
"I always wanted children. Arvin... He always had one excuse or another," she shrugged. When she looked up at the brunette, her eyes were glistening. "You were there sweetheart, and I love you just as I would have loved any child I ever had on my own."  
  
"I love you too," she whispered, leaning over to hug the older woman while not crushing her daughter. "You missed so much... I have photo albums, if you'd like to see."  
  
"I'd love that," Emily agreed. Sydney returned and began to organize the albums when she spoke again, "I hope you don't think less of me because of who I was married to."  
  
The brunette stopped moving and looked over at her. "No," she shook her head. "Never. You can't control whom you fell in love with. One of his... better qualities, was how much he loved you."  
  
"I know he was a horrible man. . . And I won't be the excuse for his crimes, no matter what he said . . . but I still loved him. Even when I didn't want to, I loved him, and I still do."  
  
"The man you knew. . . No one would ask you not to love him anymore." She gently reached for Emily's smaller hand. "In an unusual way, the only picture of a happy marriage that I really have, is of the two of you. Regardless of what happened around you, when you two were together . . . He loved you." She gulped back the nausea in her throat, struggling to speak without judgment. Emily deserved as much. "You loved him. Maybe that's what love is about, judging and loving a person for who they are to you, regardless of what they are to the world. In the end, I think that's really all that matters . . . " she trailed off as images of a happy young Laura Bristow popped to mind.  
  
"Your mother loved you too," Emily spoke, reading her mind. "Right before Arvin died, I found out the truth about your mother . . . I can't imagine what she did, and I don't imagine that it will ever be okay in your heart, but when she was here, she loved you whole-heartedly. The type of love on her face when she looked at you was not the type you could materialize out of thin air. Given the opportunity, I like to believe she would have stayed as Laura Bristow forever."  
  
"Thank you," Sydney whispered, leaning over and hugging her before they turned to the albums.  
  
They were still on the couch, Jackie sitting in Emily's arms, when Michael returned from work. The visible shock was brief, before he warmly greeted his wife and their guest. Begrudgingly, he excused himself and his new wife from the room, dragging her into the kitchen.  
  
"Michael, we have a guest -"  
  
"We figured out how Sloane knew," he whispered, as she grew silent. "At the hospital, when they gave her the normal vaccinations, the took a DNA sample. As a government field-graded agent I have DNA on file. Apparently someone hacked into some government mainframe and got a match between Jackie's DNA and my own. They also swept the warehouse and found bugs -"  
  
"Bugs? I thought they were sweeping it regularly -"  
  
"They were, before every one of our meetings, but this bug . . . It was so advanced that the Tech guys were speechless. Marshall was the only one who recognized what it was, and he's claiming he didn't manufacture it."  
  
"Marshall has no reason to lie, which only means. . . "  
  
"We think Sloane might have been working on forming another organization outside the Alliance," he explained, mindful to keep his voice low. "Right now we've frozen all of his assets, allowing only Emily access to it. We can't trace any of his activities or track down anyone he might have been working with . . . "  
  
"So it's a dead end," she sighed.  
  
"He's gone Syd, whatever he may or may not have been working on went with him. We're going to monitor every miniscule lead we have, but it looks like it might actually be over."   
  
Silently, she reached over and leaned against him, relieved to feel his arms circle her. "We're safe."  
  
"We're safe," he agreed, gently kissing the top of her head. "I'll go change and then I'll meet you and our guest in the living room." He squeezed her hand.  
  
"Do you mind if I invite Emily to dinner?"  
  
"Everyone else is coming, what's one more?" he teased, lightly kissing her lips before disappearing into the bedroom. 


	8. Trying Normal Chapter 8

Title: Trying Normal Chapter 8  
  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Story Summary: "Can I be normal?"   
  
He shrugged, "what does normal mean anyway? You can be happy though, and that's about as close to normal as anyone can hope for." (Sequel to "Coming to Terms")  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own ANY of these characters; they belong to Bad Robot, ABC, and the brilliant J.J. Abrams. Nor do I own anything remotely recognizable.  
  
A/N: Some much belated, much needed fluff. Or at least as close to fluff as I get.  
  
The remainder of the summer passed uneventfully. As Michael had predicted, nothing came from the miniscule leads they had on whatever Arvin Sloane had been hoping to establish. Sydney began to discover little things she enjoyed about married life. One thing that surprised her was how he'd go out of his way to buy the expensive, hard-to-find shampoo she loved. In the dark of night she loved the opportunity to cuddle up next to his warm body instead of the pillow she was accustomed to. When she was unable to sleep she'd lay in the darkness, using a feather-light touch to trace over his skin, the tattoo on his upper arm, the slight bump in his nose or the light crows feet by his eyes.   
  
In the three and a half months since the Alliance had finally collapsed, she did that a lot, study the sleeping forms of the ones she loved. One unexpected side effect of the spy life was her nightmares. On the rare occasion that she was allowed to slip into a deep sleep, brutal images would haunt her and wake her with a cold sweat. Silently she'd slip out of his arms, assured that he was okay before she tiptoed in to check on Jackie. Her better judgement won over and she'd just stand there, watching the tiny innocent sleep. Occasionally she'd slip out onto the porch, watching the views, searching for peace.   
  
It was one such night when despite the air conditioning the air felt stiff with summer, and Michael rolled over to find the bed empty. He rose from the bed and sidestepped Donovan's sleeping form. In the dark kitchen her form was visible, her back to him as she sat at the kitchen table. With a low sigh he wiped his nose and obtained a glass, quickly filling it with cold tap water. Visibly surprised at his presence, she murmured a thank you and accepted the drink.   
  
"This can't keep up Syd," he whispered. "You don't sleep anymore. Jackie sleeps through the night but you don't. It's been months, there are no leads… yet you still can't sleep," he softly concluded. Mindful of the sleeping infant, he pulled out a chair and sat down next to her. "You know I'm on your side… I've been thinking a lot about this, and I know you won't like it, but I think maybe you should go see Barnett."   
  
"I can't sleep and your answer is the company shrink? Maybe I've just been drinking too much coffee," she suggested.   
  
"You're still breast feeding, you've been drinking decaf. Even if you weren't, caffeine doesn't give nightmares."   
  
Her head shook as she sipped the water. "I can't go see her. I can't sit there and listen to her deconstruct me."   
  
"It's her job Syd. Maybe she can help you in ways that I can't," he suggested helplessly.   
  
Brown quickly locked with green, "I wouldn't be here without you."   
  
"Maybe I'm too close to this to help you," he continued. "You can't leave it like this. This is going to stay unless you attack it."   
  
"I don't want to go back to that part of my life," she explained. "I don't want to think about it."   
  
"But Sydney isn't that what you're doing right now?" he urged, the use of her full name roping in his desired audience. "Isn't that what you do, sit here at night and think about it? What purpose does it serve?"   
  
With a mischievous smile she turned towards him. "Before," she leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, "before everything, before we ever got together… When I couldn't sleep at night, I'd sit here and think about you. That got us here, didn't it?" she teased.   
  
"Syd," he sighed and captured her hands. "That life, SD-6 and the Alliance… That's behind both of us now. You can't go back and alter how things turned out. You need to get past this, to do whatever you have to so you can live your life. Jackie and I need you to," he urged.   
  
Briefly she considered their married life. The baths they'd share when Jackie was safe in bed, or the afternoon naps all three would enjoy on lazy weekend afternoons. There was nothing urgent or rushed anymore. Certainly they did have their bad days, when their personalities would brush against one another in the wrong manner. On those days he'd retire to the living room for the evening, watching hockey while she caught up on reading to Jackie. By the time they re-met in the bedroom, they'd come to their senses and generally managed to talk things out. Still, for the first time in her life she was allowed to put the people she loved most, first in her life. No matter how much she'd loved her friends, it didn't compare to the love she had for her husband and daughter. In Michael she had someone she wanted to impress for the first time since her childhood; by disappointing him, she'd be hurting herself. With Jackie she had someone she wanted to give the world to, someone she wanted to dedicate all of herself to whole-heartedly. If they needed something, she knew she was helpless but to do her best to give it to them.   
  
"I'm really not Barnett's biggest fan," she sighed. "I'll see her though."   
  
"Only one time Syd, if it doesn't help I won't bring it up again."   
  
"You'll call tomorrow?" she asked as he nodded.   
  
"I'll take care of it," he promised as he quickly kissed her. He stood to his feet and gently tugged her along with him. They returned to the bedroom, Sydney finally falling into a steady sleep under her husband's steady gaze.   
  
  
  
Doctor Barnett was eager to begin dissecting Sydney. To the younger woman's amazement, the psychiatrist was almost friendly in demeanor and less accusatory in the nature of her questions. They discussed her daughter, her husband and the origin of her nightmares. Obviously her biggest fear still lay in the late Arvin Sloane. One thing espionage had taught her was that nothing was certain, and in her haze of nightmares that had included his death.   
  
Fear had been a weakness in her life for such a drawn out period that it was a struggle to admit such things to herself, nevermind to Doctor Barnett. Still, she was a patient listener, asking just the right questions at the right times. Even with her skilled poker face it was obvious what Sydney was afraid of. It was the same thing she'd been afraid of from the moment she'd found out she was pregnant, from the second she'd unwillingly fallen in love with Michael Vaughn. The biggest risk of falling in love, the scariest prospect when you've finally reached your goal, was losing it all.   
  
Given all that Sydney Bristow had accomplished in what would one day be considered a legendary career, it was difficult to imagine that someone of small stature, nevermind someone under six feet, could be her biggest demon. Still, Doctor Barnett was a mother and wife herself and knew that the emotions attached to such life roles had very little to do with logic. In Sydney's subconscious Arvin Sloane was still larger than life, looming over her in his promise of terror. The nightmares would take her back to SD-6, back to clandestine meetings and the constant threat of danger. Nearly all ended in the loss of her husband or daughter. More often than not, the nightmares ended in the painful loss of both.   
  
The fears were unfounded but certainly understandable. Dr. Barnett had worked with former soldiers who still had nightmares of the fears that accompanied them in Vietnam, decades after they'd last set foot in the country. Psychological terror had been Sloane's strongest poison, and it wasn't easily dripped from Sydney's system. During the course of her session she struggled to relay her nightmares and her fears and listened to the doctor's trained opinion. Surprisingly, the doctor offered suggestions to Sydney on how to cope with what she was feeling; tactics to push through the wave of emotions that only she could navigate. Her days of compartmentalizing appeared to be over.  
  
No matter how much he tried to maneuver his schedule that day, Michael was unable to meet his wife for lunch at the CIA's meager eatery. By the time he stepped foot inside their house that evening, he was eager to hear what had happened. Donovan scampered quietly over the living room carpet and licked his hand in greeting. The dog then turned around and disappeared towards the back of the house. In the silence of the house he heard his shoes shuffle over the carpet. Tiredly he dropped his briefcase onto the sofa and began to loosen his tie as he approached the bedrooms.   
  
An unfamiliar voice stopped him as he neared the nursery door. Donovan had carelessly slipped back into the room through the small opening. Quietly he approached the door, trying to process the unfamiliar, croaking voice that came from the bedroom. Finally a smile crept across his face as he recognized the voice was not so much a person as a thing. Kermit the Frog, to be precise, and the puppet's rendition of "The Rainbow Connection". If he strained to listen he could even detect Sydney's soft voice singing underneath the famous frog.   
  
The creak that emerged when he opened the door slightly went unnoticed by his wife. Unaware of his attention, Sydney sat in the nursery rocker, Jackie poised on her lap. With big green eyes and a toothless smile, their daughter was even more enthralled than he was by her mother's smile and singing. Pure joy was drawn across Sydney's face, and it was matched on their daughter's _expression. When both Sydney and Kermit finished their song about the lovers and the dreamers, the young mother kissed her daughter's tiny hands and clapped them together as they shared the same smile.   
  
"Syd," he called softly as she turned towards him. For a moment her soft smile evaporated and her long hand reached out to turn down the music. At roughly five months post partum, in her black slacks and the Kings jersey he'd outgrown years ago, it was hard to believe she'd ever been pregnant, sans a few new curves on her figure. On her mother's lap, Jackie was quickly growing disinterested in her parents' conversation, instead, fascinated by the bubbles she had learned how to make. An endless choir of bubbles could be heard throughout the nursery for days on end as she worked to perfect her newest amusement.   
  
"I never told you this, but when I was pregnant with Jackie, I used to run all these scenarios through my head," she whispered. For a brief moment the bubbles stopped as the baby looked at her mother, having recognized her own name before she collapsed against her mother in exhaustion. "These completely improbable situations, things you and I would never do. That we'd leave the CIA and SD-6 behind us and just run from it all… Spend our entire lives looking over our shoulders. Dishonoring our government, but we'd at least be together with our baby. All because of the nightmare Arvin Sloane had made my life into," she sighed. "That man's dead now, and the only regrets I have about that are that Emily's in pain and that I didn't get to pull the trigger."   
  
Fully confused he approached the rocker, squatting down in front of his family. "What happened today with Barnett Syd?"   
  
"We talked. Well, I talked," Sydney corrected. "This weekend I'm going to start going back to the gym. I have so much frustration left… What better place to work it out than the gym?"   
  
"What did she say?"   
  
"I'm not insane," she laughed. "It was nothing I didn't already know Mike. I've been so lucky since everything ended; I ignored that not everything was over, not in my mind at least. He was a bastard and I can't get what he took from me back. At the same time I can't let him control my life anymore. I can't forget I ever knew him, but he already had enough years of my life. It's mine now."   
  
A smile crossed his face as he reached over to grasp his daughter's tiny hand. "It's over now Syd, you don't need to be afraid anymore."   
  
"I know," Sydney conceded, a smile on her own features when she watched father and daughter interact. "It's not something I'm going to just get over, but I am going to work past it," she resolved.   
  
Michael swiftly turned his head to look at her, a smile of honest pride on his face. "I love you."   
  
"I love you too," she kissed him. Then she pulled to her feet, the baby still cuddled close to her as he reached his own height. "I'm going to go take a bath."   
  
"What, I don't get to come too?" he teased.   
  
At the doorway she turned around to look at him, "I'm taking a bath with Jackie. Can you turn the stove on? Everything is in there already."   
  
"Sure," he agreed. "Go take a bath, I'll bring you both some clean clothes."   
  
As she approached the bathroom she called over her shoulder, "Hey, stick Donovan in the yard and he needs to be fed -"   
  
"Go take a bath Syd!" he cut her off. A moment later he heard the bathroom door shut as he chuckled and got busy.   
  
  
  
  
  
Autumn fully descended upon California in the passing weeks. On the evening before Halloween, Jackie was left with her grandfather for the evening as her parents went to the Kings' opening game of the season. When they left, their daughter had been wide-awake, crying as they left and donning the Kings onesie that her father had cautiously dressed her in that day. By the time they arrived back to the house to relieve Jack from his babysitting duties, Jackie was zonked out on the sofa. The most noticeable change, however, was that during the course of their absence, Jack had changed her out of the onesie and into an adorable bumblebee costume. He'd only taken a moment to explain. The next day was, after all, her very first Halloween.   
  
Jackie the bumblebee was the center of attention at the Vaughn Halloween gathering the following day. Francie, Will, Charlie and Jennie all arrived for the evening. Jack surprised them all when he arrived shortly before sunset, taking his granddaughter into his arms and softly speaking to his little bumblebee. The love that the baby had towards her grandfather was obvious as she giggled and rested safely against him, and the gentle nature Jack Bristow demonstrated towards the baby was something they all still struggled to grow accustomed to.   
  
More surprisingly, Jack stayed to partake in some male bonding. The men camped out in the living room, watching the first Lakers game of the season while the women relaxed on the porch. Francie not only gushed over little Jackie, but over every child that came for candy. The quantity of children in her new neighborhood was a pleasant surprise to Sydney, and she even discovered a new playground from one of the many mothers. In between tending to Jackie, who amused herself nicely in her car seat carrier, and dishing out candy to the children, the three women discussed the upcoming wedding. Will and Jennie had decided to be wed in early February, a small affair, and once again Francie's restaurant would be the reception location. It was already shaping up to be a busy year.  
  
With nearly half a dozen invitations, Michael always wondered how they managed to spend their first Thanksgiving quietly with just Jack as their guest. Jennie and Will were hosting their first holiday, and Francie and Charlie were hosting something special at the restaurant. The obligatory invitation came in from the Dixons and Brigitte had suggested they come up for the holiday. None of that had appealed to either Sydney or Michael. As kind as their friends were and as much as they loved Brigitte and Michael's family, they anticipated enough family in the upcoming weeks. Jacqueline would only celebrate her first Thanksgiving once. It was seemingly perfect that only her parents and adoring grandfather were around to see her smile and blow raspberries through most of dinner before she fell asleep in her mother's lap, her head lulling down to crash against the mashed potatoes on Sydney's plate.   
  
  
  
"Which tree do you like Syd?"   
  
Sydney sighed as they stood surveying the remaining Christmas trees for sale. They'd been in Shasta Lake for a day, settling in the cabin they'd rented for the Christmas Holiday. It had been Jack's suggestion that they escape Los Angeles for the holiday and had even arranged the cabin for them. All around them snow fell, and when they had first pulled in they'd seen skiers heading towards the mountains. Both of their first Christmases had been spent surrounded by snow, so it was only appropriate that Jackie enjoyed the same.   
  
"I think Donovan likes that one," she started to laugh as the dog sniffed a tree and began to pee on it.   
  
"What? Donovan, shit, no." Michael quickly went to stop the dog. Jackie joined in on the laughter as he looked up at the two of them. "Is Daddy being funny?" he asked as he leaned his face close to his laughing daughter. Jacqueline's face was visible over her mother's shoulder as Sydney carried her on her back in the backpack carrier. Absolutely delighted by the snow and her parents, the little girl was using her tiny fingers to point at him. "Daddy being silly?"   
  
"Dada!!" she giggled joyously. "Dadada!!"   
  
"I'm sorry Michael." Sydney composed herself, her smile still as bright and wide as the one resting on her shoulder.  
  
They were both an adorable sight, too endeared to his heart for him to stay mad for long. Sydney wore a heavy suede coat and a black brim hat that rested on her head collecting snowflakes. Their daughter was equally adorable, the navy blue and snowflake-patterned fleece cap covering her head and ears and tied neatly under her chin.   
  
"So should we trust Donovan's instincts?" he smirked.   
  
Sydney started to laugh again as Jackie joined in, unaware of any joke but only wanting to match her mother's laughter. "I'm sorry, I think they're going to make us if we don't."   
  
"At least I won't have to water it tonight," he teased as one of the farmers came over to help him chop down the tree. "So this is our tree?"   
  
"It's our Christmas tree," she agreed. "C'mere Donovan," she called and tugged at the dog's leash as he obediently approached. "Will you be able to carry that?"   
  
"I've got it Syd," Michael assured her as they started walking back to the Jeep.   
  
"It's beautiful out tonight," she said as she glanced up at the sky, the snow continuing to fall.   
  
"Supposed to stay like this for the rest of the week," the farmer informed them as he helped Michael carry the tree to the Jeep. Quickly Sydney slipped their daughter into her car seat as Donovan cuddled up onto the seat next to her. Once she was in the car, the two men made quick work of tying the tree down.   
  
"I haven't had a real Christmas tree since I was a kid," he recalled as he hopped into the driver's seat.   
  
"Really?" Sydney met his eyes in the dim car, a Bing Crosby Christmas carol humming on the radio as he snapped his seatbelt on.   
  
"Single guys don't have much use for real trees Syd. I've been using the small miniature artificial tree since college."   
  
"Christmas isn't Christmas without the smell of pine," she corrected. "Or without walking on pine needles for a month afterwards."   
  
"Real Christmas trees from now on," he promised, taking her hand as he drove up the unfamiliar roads to their rented cabin.   
  
  
  
Over the course of the next few days, they decorated the cabin and the tree with the full glory of Christmas. During the days they had taken Jackie outside to introduce her to snow. Sydney sat in a pile of snow, their daughter in her lap as they watched Michael build a small family of snow people with an expert's touch. On the morning of the holiday, a massive pile of presents awaited Jackie. During the parade she sat on the floor, fascinated by the symphony gym her grandfather had sent to her while her parents exchanged their own presents and watched the parade.   
  
They remained in northern California until the second day of January, playing in the snow and enjoying one another's company. Sydney caught up on her reading and Michael spent countless hours playing with his daughter, catching up on all the hours he had missed while he was working. The views from the cabin were breathtaking and the hills were good for sledding. Sydney would hold on tightly to Jackie as Michael would push them down a hill, Donovan barking in anticipation at the summit. Together they'd prepare dinner and continue their daughter's bedtime routine, reading to her, singing to her and then rocking her into slumber. Once Jackie would doze off for the night, he'd build a fire and they'd spend hours talking or silently exploring one another's most delicate areas.   
  
  
  
Less than five weeks separated them from Will and Jennie's wedding by the time they arrived back in the southern tip of the state. While the CIA kept Michael busy, wedding preparations kept Sydney on her toes. Every step she helped her friends through made her even more relieved they had gone with a miniscule wedding. Invitations to the rehearsal dinner were sent, and there were appointments to be made and vendors to confirm with. The play/not play list for the DJ was a slight bump in the road for the engaged couple, and it was with Francie and Sydney's help that they finally resolved it. There was still a myriad of little things to shop for and Jennie had yet to decide whether or not she'd change her name to Jennifer Tippin.   
  
Jennie was still pulling long hours at the law firm, which resulted in Sydney spending even later evenings at the restaurant helping Francie and the bride-to-be plan. Towards the end of the day, either Jack or Michael would pick up Jackie, taking her home and going through the evening routine with her. In the midst of seating arrangements, preparing place cards and floral arrangements, Sydney missed her daughter. Her days were long for, The mornings and afternoons spent with Jackie. They'd go to the park or read, play and sing. Everyday Jackie was accomplishing something new, and it nearly brought tears to Sydney's eyes when Jackie pushed to her feet for the very first time. Then the nights would drag on until nearly midnight. There was no pressure from Francie to finish things up quickly - they worked at the restaurant and it would stay open as late as they needed to be there. Still, Sydney didn't have the heart to say no. After all the support they'd given her during her pregnancy and the first month of Jackie's life, the least she could do was help them plan their wedding.   
  
  
  
It was a beautiful, slightly warm day in early February when Will married Jennie. Michael and Sydney stood on opposite sides of the altar, both attendants in the wedding. Even in her cream dress and curled hair, Jennie's spotlight managed to be stolen by Jackie. In her pink gingham ruffled sun hat and matching sundress, she was the gem of the party. As swiftly as she'd stolen her grandfather's heart while still a grainy image on an ultrasound, she quickly charmed anyone who came in contact with her. Even at the playground Sydney had noticed how other babies seemed to be drawn to her. She'd immediately decided it was certainly something she'd inherited from Michael.   
  
The reception was low-key and lovely. The bride and groom shared a lovely first dance, having exchanged traditional vows, and the light bounced off their new gold bands as they moved. Sydney smiled and rested against Michael, his arm around her and Jackie asleep against her father's chest as they watched the couple dance and later cut the cake. All of the work in the recent weeks had left her exhausted, and earlier in the day Michael had confessed to Will that he was glad all of the festivities were over. Now all she looked forward to was sleeping in the next morning and a quiet week at home with her daughter.   
  
Sydney settled Jackie down for bed that night by herself as Michael took a quick shower. When he emerged from the shower he could hear her softly singing to the baby. Jackie's current favorite was still "The Rainbow Connection" - the baby could listen to it countless times on the Muppets CD Charlotte had given them. Still, he preferred Sydney's voice any day, and it was always to her mother's soft song that his little girl would fall asleep for the night.   
  
Quickly he checked the score of the Kings game before he retired to their room, Sydney still getting Jackie down for the night. Exhausted, he kept the bedroom lights on low, getting changed into his own pajamas. Purposely he turned off the alarm clock and got into bed. Silently Sydney walked in a few moments later and smiled at him.   
  
Mike watched her slowly undress and search her drawers for pajamas. Allowing his eyes the courtesy of lazily running up and down her body, he smiled before he spoke, "Syd I think you're pregnant."   
  
Her head shot up from her perusal of the drawer. Squinting her eyes, she looked at him carefully, "What?"  
  
Chuckling, he slowly pulled himself out of the bed. Walking towards her, he wrapped his arms around her from behind. Silently he laid his hand on her stomach, starting at the top of her belly button. A smile crossed his features when he felt that her stomach, from the belly button down to the hem of her panties, was slightly curved compared to her usually flat physique. Knowing she was caught off guard by his suggestion, he kissed her temple before repeating his earlier sentiment, "I think you're pregnant."   
  
Sydney rolled her eyes and gently pried herself from his arms. "Mike, I think I'd know before you," she insisted as she slipped on matching pajama bottoms and a top. Yawning, she lay down on the bed, starting to get comfortable as he continued to watch her. "Don't look at me like that," she gently reprimanded as she shut her eyes.   
  
"Like what?" he asked as he walked back over to the bed, sliding in behind her.   
  
"Like you know something that I don't."   
  
"Okay," he appeased her.   
  
"I'm serious Mike," she insisted as his arm wrapped around her waist and he tossed his leg over her hip.   
  
"So am I," he shot back as she arched her back. "Are you okay?"   
  
"Mmhmm," she promised. "Just tired," she assured him. "Love you."   
  
Kissing her cheek he pulled her tighter. "Love you too."  
  
Rolling over a few hours later, Mike was slowly aware that he was alone in bed. The alarm clock on the night table glared back 1:08am. Throwing back the covers he walked barefoot to the nursery. Peeking in he wasn't surprised to find Jackie still sound asleep in her crib, sucking on her thumb as she dreamed. Tip-toeing over to the crib, he kissed his little girl before walking out of the room. Estimating his wife's whereabouts, he walked into the dim kitchen, relieved to find her. She was standing up against the counter, vigorously eating the remainder of the roast beef sub she had made him for lunch the day before.   
  
"Mike?" she asked as she swallowed and looked at him.   
  
"Are you okay Syd?"   
  
Pulling her hair behind her ear, she took another bite. After chewing and swallowing, all while leaving him in agonizing silence, she met his eyes. "I think I'm pregnant."   
  
Despite her sober deliverance of the news, a chuckle escaped him as he walked over towards her. "That's what I said, remember?" he asked as he kissed her forehead.   
  
"Isn't it too soon?"   
  
"Nah," he shook his head and smiled. "Char and I are only eighteen months apart."   
  
"What about my return to work?"   
  
"You weren't planning on going back this fall," he reminded her. "So you'll just add another year to your time off. We've been doing fine."   
  
"I just thought I was overtired from helping Jennie," Sydney sighed, resting her weight against him. His hand was large and warm as it slipped under her shirt, rubbing the tense skin of her back.   
  
"I don't think that's made you feel any better."   
  
"Jackie's not even one year old."   
  
"It's going to be fine Syd," Mike promised, now both of his arms around her. "Hey, we could be wrong, you might not be pregnant," he looked down at her.   
  
"I'll call the doctor Monday." 


	9. Trying Normal Chapter 9

Title: Trying Normal Chapter 8  
  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Story Summary: "Can I be normal?"   
  
He shrugged, "what does normal mean anyway? You can be happy though, and that's about as close to normal as anyone can hope for." (Sequel to "Coming to Terms")  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own ANY of these characters; they belong to Bad Robot, ABC, and the brilliant J.J. Abrams. Nor do I own anything remotely recognizable.  
  
A/N: This is VERY fluffy, very funny & very sweet. If your looking for angst, go read something else I've written - I've got plenty of it. This is fun, this is sweet, and with everything else I'm writing, this is necessary.  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
There was no need for a doctor to confirm what Sydney already knew in her heart. Still, when Monday came, that's exactly what her doctor did. Apparently she was six weeks pregnant, due sometime in the last week of September. At the news, the doctor congratulated her with a wide smile. Numbly, she thanked her and walked out of the doctor's office, looking down at the baby in her arms and wondering how she was going to handle another.  
  
  
  
Both mother and daughter were soundly asleep on the sofa when Michael returned home from work. They made a beautiful sight, Jackie soundly sleeping on her mother's chest. For a few minutes, he allowed them to sleep, setting his briefcase down and quickly feeding Donovan. Sydney's eyes were beginning to open when he softly emerged into the dim living room. Her head turned to the sound, a smile following when she saw him.   
  
  
  
"Hey Syd." He smiled and squatted down in front of the sofa.  
  
  
  
"Hey," she answered in a voice weighed down with sleep. "Did you just get home?"  
  
  
  
"Yep, traffic was horrible. I didn't mean to wake you." Michael leaned over to kiss her. Then carefully, he touched his daughter's tiny fist and kissed her cheek. "I was actually going to go get the camera."  
  
  
  
"No," she chuckled. "Not another picture of me sleeping. I don't want my daughter to look back and see her mother drooling."  
  
  
  
"You're beautiful, even covered in drool," he whispered, kissing her again. With a sigh, he sat back and took her free hand as the other one rested on their daughter's back. "What happened at the doctor's?"  
  
  
  
"What are you doing in September?"  
  
  
  
"Having a baby?" he guessed.  
  
  
  
Sydney chuckled. "Apparently so," she agreed. Then she sighed heavily, the wrinkles pressed into her forehead. "Mike, I don't know -"  
  
  
  
"We're going to be fine," he promised her. "We're apparently very fertile."  
  
  
  
"I thought my chances of conception went down at thirty."  
  
  
  
"Didn't you always want a brother or sister growing up? Someone who knew everything you went through, who was always there?"  
  
  
  
"Sometimes," she confessed.  
  
  
  
"Jackie's going to have that. You survived with Jackie and this time, I'll be there," he promised. On her mother's chest Jackie began to yawn and stretch out of reflex. Michael's smile grew as he reached over and picked up his daughter. "Hey honey, how's my favorite little girl?" he greeted, his voice low and his face close to hers. Jackie's response was to blow raspberries in her father's face before Michael peppered her tiny face with kisses. "I missed you so much. Did you miss Daddy? Were you good for Mommy? Did you let Mommy sleep, huh?" he asked before setting her down on his knee, both father and daughter facing Sydney.  
  
  
  
"You're such a good father," she smiled, the tears in her eyes.   
  
  
  
"You are a wonderful mother," Michael assured her. "You did it by yourself Syd, and I know it's something a lot of women do, but you did it while bringing down one of the largest international organized crime syndicates. I love watching you with her Syd and she loves you," he pointed out. Then solemnly he asked, "Do you not want this baby?"   
  
  
  
"No, I do," she insisted. "I'm just...tired."  
  
  
  
"I'll arrange to take some time off when the baby comes. This time around they can ask whatever they want. We'll get through this together," he promised.  
  
  
  
"Why are you grinning like the Cheshire Cat?" she asked, unable to not smile back.  
  
  
  
"I can't wait to tell Eric. I'll get to hear all about how super my little generals must be." He chuckled as she tossed a throw pillow at his head. "Sorry Syd. I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but this is good news."  
  
  
  
"It is good news," she agreed. "I'm just trying to get used to the idea."  
  
  
  
"Give it time." He kissed her briefly. "Have you eaten yet?"  
  
  
  
"No, I've slept most of the day."  
  
  
  
"I'll go toss some pasta on and make Jackie's dinner."  
  
  
  
"I can -"  
  
  
  
"Go take a shower Syd, relax, okay?"  
  
  
  
"You've been the one at work all day, not me," Sydney reminded him as she stood.  
  
  
  
"You're the one carrying a baby, not me," he said as Jackie smiled. "See, she agrees."  
  
  
  
"How am I ever going to love another baby as much as I love her?" she whispered, as her daughter's hand wrapped around her outstretched finger.  
  
  
  
"Before I met you Syd, I could never imagine loving someone as much as I love you. It will happen. We're going to be parents again Syd. We're going to have to play one on one instead of two on one, but we'll be fine."  
  
  
  
"Is everything a hockey analogy?" Sydney chuckled.  
  
  
  
"Hey, if the shoe fits."  
  
  
  
"You're fanatical, but I love you." She leaned up to kiss him.  
  
  
  
"I love you too," he whispered against her smiling lips before he ordered her off to the showers.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
That Saturday, Will and Jennie were back in the area and they decided to invite everyone to dinner. Silently, they agreed to break the news to all ten of their adult guests - the newlyweds, Charlotte and Patrick, Charlie and Francie, Eric and Amy, as well as Jack and Brigitte - together. They'd only briefly played with the possibility of waiting until she was in her second trimester to share the news, but after all the Vaughn's had endured with Jackie's surprise arrival, they agreed to be honest from the beginning.  
  
  
  
"Don't be nervous Syd," he assured her softly as they picked up the living room Saturday afternoon.  
  
  
  
"I'm not telling them."  
  
  
  
"You're not?" He raised an eyebrow and hid a smirk.  
  
  
  
"Don't give me that look," she commanded. "I told everyone the first time around. Congratulations Mr. Super-Sperm, it's your turn."  
  
  
  
"Sure Syd, I'll tell them, but I might get some funny looks when I tell them I'm pregnant," he teased. Laughing, she grabbed a throw pillow and tossed it at him, tackling him to the floor.   
  
  
  
"You are such a man!" she teased, continuing to beat him up with the pillow. Underneath her, Michael's body continued to rumble with laughter as he tried to block her attack.  
  
  
  
"If I wasn't, we wouldn't have this problem," he managed to sputter out through his laughter. "Syd!" he chuckled. In the corner, Jackie sat propped up on the sofa and began to laugh. "Syd, you're beating me up in front of my own daughter!" He grabbed her wrists and swiftly switched their positions. "Scared yet?" he teased as he hovered above her, holding her hands above her head as she struggled to catch her breath.   
  
  
  
"Nope," she grinned. Michael rolled his eyes before he leaned down to briefly kiss her. "Mr. Macho," she whispered as he kissed her again.  
  
  
  
"Just marking my territory."  
  
  
  
"What, are you going to pee on me next?"   
  
  
  
He chuckled and shook his head. "I'll leave that to Donovan."  
  
  
  
"We have to finish getting ready. People are going to get here soon," she reminded him.  
  
  
  
"Do I look like I care?" he murmured, bending down to kiss her again.  
  
  
  
"Michael!" she scolded playfully and gently pushed him away. "You're incurable."  
  
  
  
"Guilty as charged," he sighed and pulled to his feet. Kindly he offered her his hand and helped her to her feet, then promptly kissed her again. "Can't help it, you're so damn beautiful."  
  
  
  
"You're not going to want to touch me in a few months."  
  
  
  
"We both know that's a lie," Michael corrected, his hands on her hips. "I *always* want to touch you!"  
  
  
  
Sydney laughed and pulled away. "Our daughter's watching and we have company in less than an hour."  
  
  
  
"I'll go check on dinner."  
  
  
  
"I'll make it up to you tonight!" she called.  
  
  
  
As he rounded the corner she heard him mutter, "Promises, promises." Laughing, she rolled her eyes at her already amused daughter and returned to picking up.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The twelve adults made easy conversation amongst themselves over appetizers and then the main course. Jack kept his granddaughter close before Maya appeared, her big brown eyes begging to play with her baby cousin. Even though she had a little brother, Jackie was far more interesting to her, and occasionally she liked to pretend that both babies were her twins. The young girl was never overly aggressive or impatient with the babies, and she was allowed to continue her game.  
  
  
  
With dessert on the table, Michael looked over at his wife. Silently, he urged her to start the conversation. Sydney cleared her throat as conversation ceased and everyone looked over at her. "It's really nice to have all of you here," she smiled. "There is a reason we asked you all here at once though."  
  
  
  
"Well, what's going on?" Francie questioned.  
  
  
  
Briefly, she looked over at her husband, encouraged by his smile, and even more encouraged when he reached under the table for her hand. "I'm pregnant."  
  
  
  
"No way!" Will's eyes widened. Various noises of congratulations and surprise filled the room for a few moments. A chorus of hugs and congratulations were exchanged before everyone was in their seats again.  
  
  
  
Charlotte was the first one to ask a legitimate conversation, "When?"  
  
  
  
"Sometime in late September," Michael answered.  
  
  
  
"Jackie will only be seventeen months old," Jack reasoned.  
  
"Charlotte and Michael are eighteen months apart," Brigitte reminded. "The beginning was difficult, but it worked out very well as they got older."  
  
  
  
"I think it's a lot better than what I had. It's still difficult being so much older than my brother. I love him, but we have so very little in common," Jennie pointed out.  
  
  
  
"I think it's great," Will insisted. "Jackie will always have someone to play with, someone to boss around..." he trailed off as they laughed.  
  
  
  
"What about work?" Jack questioned.  
  
  
  
"I'll take another year off," Sydney shrugged.   
  
  
  
"This is so wonderful! How are you feeling?" Francie eagerly looked at her best friend.  
  
  
  
"Not as nauseous," she smiled gratefully. "Just really tired."  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry Syd," Jennie sighed. "I shouldn't have had you running all those errands -"  
  
  
  
"You didn't know. We didn't even know," she insisted. "I just hope Jackie adjusts well."  
  
  
  
"Nonsense, she'll be fine," Brigitte spoke up. "Charlotte adjusted perfectly to Michael. She'll be young enough that she'll never remember life without her brother or sister."  
  
  
  
"Do you have a preference?" Charlie asked.  
  
  
  
"Healthy," Michael and Sydney answered at the same time.  
  
  
  
"This pregnancy will fly by. Trust me, you'll be so busy with Jackie, you'll just wake up one day and be ready to have a baby!" Brigitte laughed. "You better help Sydney, Michael, she's going to be exhausted."  
  
  
  
"He's been amazing," Sydney stepped in.  
  
  
  
"Of course he has, he just needs to keep stepping up," Brigitte insisted.   
  
  
  
"I have no doubt Michael will fulfill his role," Jack replied.   
  
Momentarily the younger man looked at his father-in-law and wondered how many types of pain Jack would inflict upon him if he *didn't* successfully fulfill his role.  
  
  
  
"Well, I think it's great," Francie insisted.  
  
  
  
"It certainly is," Brigitte agreed.  
  
  
  
"Plus, you've still got all your maternity clothes *and* they are still in style," her best friend pointed out as Sydney burst out laughing.  
  
  
  
"I hadn't thought of it that way," she grinned.   
  
  
  
"The real question is, how long you wait until the next one," Will playfully challenged.  
  
  
  
"That's assuming they'll have another one," Jennie reasoned.  
  
  
  
"Why wouldn't they?" her husband asked.  
  
  
  
"It's only Michael and I, we were fine, and plenty of people are just fine without *any* siblings," Charlotte reasoned.  
  
  
  
"I think," Jack spoke over them, dimming the dining room to silence, "I think we should let this child be born before we consider any other children they may decide to have."  
  
  
  
Sydney smiled at her father, grateful for his silent understanding. Under the table, she felt her husband's familiar hand grasp for hers, meeting her eyes as they basked in their loved ones' joyous reception of the news. 


End file.
